Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bully, bully...and not the song

Trinity has a bully. This is something that has been going on since Kindergarten, and I thought it was all figured out. Let me give you some background info. In Kinder, the little girl was having terrible outbursts in class, was not listening, and having just an overall bad time. Trin's then teacher suggested that we sit Trinity next to the little, I mean child, to possibly have a positive impact on her. It helped, for a bit anyway. Then, my Trinity started to come home and tell me bout how the girl, let's call her Polly, would say mean things to her. She said that she would push her when they were in line for lunch, that she would yell at her and say she didn't like her. I found out that she didn't have the happiest of homelife's, and talked with Trinity about it. Trin's response was that we would treat her with kindness.

Trinity continued to handle it on her own, always conversing with us about it later that evening. It stopped for a while, but in the last few weeks, stories have been coming home again about how Polly has been unkind to my Trinity. She has started taking Trinity's friends, and rallying them against her. Not all the kids are going for it, because they too have been treated unfairly by Polly, but, the ones that do, boy...does it crush my little girl.

Trinity always tries to include everyone. All the new kids are instantly befriended by my gal. Trin has gone as far as seeking out Polly to be extra friendly to her, JUST because she is mean. I know it may not make sense, but we have always pressed that people act a certain way because of what they are given, and we have to love them regardless of their behaviors. So, it was no surprise then when I was walking her home yesterday, and she shared yet another story of Polly's harassment, that when I suggested "just not being her friend" Trinity responded with "But mama, that wouldn't be kind....I can't do that." Boy, did I have a lesson in acceptance that day.

Today, I saw it happen before my very eyes. Trinity was talking to Polly, and then, she dropped her shoulders and head, had a very defeated look on her face, and turned to go to class....I stopped her and asked what happened. A very sad response, she says "Mama, she just yelled at me, called me stupid and said she didn't like me." That's it. Mama Bear is on the prowl. I gestured for demon girl, I mean Polly, to come over to me. She stood in front of me and I very sternly had a talking with her:

Me- "Did you yell at her?"
Polly- "YES"
Me- "You will stop doing that immediately."
Polly-*Scared shitless look on her face*
Me- "Look at her" *pointing to Trinity* "do you see how sad she is?"
Me-"You are going to stop yelling and being mean to her or I am going to speak with your Mother and Father, do you understand me??" (that DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME thing works wonders)
Polly- *again, totally freaked out by this point* "Yes."

I hugged Trinity and told her that if Polly ever does anything mean to her, that she needs to tell someone right away. I hugged her and sent her on her way to class. That wasn't enough. I decided to take the next step and called her principal. Apparently Trinity isn't the only child that is being bullied by Polly, not surprised.

The Principal came to Trinity's class today, pulled her out and had a mediation between the two girls. I was so proud at how Trinity handled it. The little girl apologized for being mean, and Mrs. Evan's suggested that they be friends. Trin's response to Polly "I can't be your friend if you are going to be mean to me...." so, Polly responds "I won't be mean to you anymore." Let's hope not little one, because I have a lot more Mama Bear in me that is ready to come out.