Christmas Post is Coming

I just wanted everyone to know to know that I am working on uploading the Christmas pictures! Stay tuned!!!!

She said "LITERALLY"

Why is Trinity so smart? I don't think I am that smart...I mean, I am bright and all, but she is really, really smart. We were watching something on Animal Planet...I was amazed by what I saw and started the conversation with this:

Me: "Oh my gosh!"
T: "You can say that again."
Me: *feeling a little gradeschool* "Oh my gosh!"
T: "Mama, I didn't mean it literally...it was just a joke."
Me: *feeling very small* "Geesh...humor me alright??!"
T: *with a eye roll and a sweet smile* "MAAAAMMMAA...*pats me on the shoulder* it' ok."

It's all about perspective

Today is a good day. I feel a renewed sense of strength to continue on this path to recovery for Tristan. You know when you have those "A HA" moments? I had one today. And it led me to this post. It's all about perspective.

There have been days that I truly feel robbed of a "normal" son, days that I feel "Why us??? Why do we have this???" but then I remember, we were given this for a reason, and we are not given more than we can handle. This diagnosis has taught me that. I also know that Tristan is still my little boy, despite his autism. He is the same little boy that I gave birth to...the same little boy that loves us all unconditionally. I adore him, and want only the best for him and us.....and that means continuing to fight for him and fight for his recovery.

We have a rap sheet list full of tests that we have to get done for him in the coming weeks / months. He has to have a Thyroid Test (which are actually a series of 3 blood tests), CBC, Celiac Panel, RAST Test and another that I can't think of without looking at the order...I feel sad for little t. There are days that I feel like he is the one that is being robbed...his childhood thus far has consisted of doctors visits, specialists visits, weekly therapies and all different people coming in and out of his life..to test him, to evaluate him, to find out what he is and is not capable of. What about just being a kid??? What about Saturday morning cartoons?

I feel guilty. There are days that I feel guilty for taking him to therapy and all these doctors visits. It's exhausting, for all of us. BUT, then I jump back out of my pity party hole and realize the lengths that he has come since having said therapies. I realize that he is growing and learning, and he is happy. PERIOD. Despite all of this crap that he has to deal with day in and day out, the kid is one of the happiest that I have met.

He loves therapy...LOVES it. He enjoys meeting all these "different" people coming in and out of his life...he gets to meet other kiddos that are similiar to him. So, basically it is all about perspective. I have to change my perspective. I think I have had a sunny outlook on this most of the time, and I am proud to say that I have never felt embarassed or ashamed of him. I am so proud to be his mama, despite the outward differences that some may see. I look how he looks at me, and our eyes connect and in that moment I know that he understands me...I talk to him like I do Trinity, and though no words are spoken, his eyes speak volumes. I hope that others will get to know him. I hope that people can be patient and wait for his words, because, they are coming...I can feel it.

Paranoid much?

Why do I sometimes feel like someone is following me down my hallway? Or is it just the cat? Paranoid much? Seriously though.....eek.

Don't do it....

Never try and do anything when you have to go pee....don't do it. I have just taped my fingers to themselves 5 times in an attempt to hurry and wrap that "last" present before going to bed...I did my pee pee dance while crouched on the floor of our destroyed gym, rocking side to side, trying not to think of the ever growing pink elephant in the room, that is my urge to pee my pants. Why must I do this? Yes, you read correctly, I do THIS...I wait until the very last moment and rush to the potty for fear that I may wet my pants. I suppose I should stop nagging Trinity for waiting until the last minute when she yells from her carseat on the freeway and the road to nowhere AKA, road to our house "I NEED TO GO PEE MOM... NNNNNOOOOOWWWW!" Trinity, I get it, truly, I do.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

We went up North this past weekend...burr...talk about cold. Yes, I know, I am a wuss...I KNOW THIS. There are plenty of my friends who have moved to much colder places and are doing just fine...but me, I have thin ass blood and because of this, I chill easily LOL. It was 28 degrees, but, once we got moving around, it really didn't feel too bad. The kiddies had a great time sledding and building. Little t mostly enjoyed eating the snow, a nice change from the normal dirt that he so loves to ingest.

We brought all of our furry babies, Shyanne couldn't really manage with her bad hips, so, she hung out in the truck...Lylah and Dakota on the other hand were warriors! T and Daddy spent most of the time on the hills, but I was perfectly happy just watching my family. It was a nice getaway, even if just for a few hours.

Somehow, snow just makes it FEEL more like Christmas, am I right?? Regardless, it is upon us...just 3 more days until the big hurrah! Are you ready? Have you talked about the TRUE meaning with your family? Try not to get lost in the commercial overtaking of this beautiful, blessed and sacred holiday and remember what is real, the birth of Christ! Enjoy your families, and be safe. If I don't post again until afterwards, a very Merry Christmas to you!

Where's your button?

...there it is!!!!!

If Trinity were a boy....

...she would be Andrew. Their birthdays are just 2 days apart. We have known him since they were 15 months old or so....and they have very similiar temperments...head strong, intelligent, witty, loving, smart...smart....smart. They have another similarity, they both played on the same soccer league! Imagine T's surprise when she saw another "5" walking up to her and it was her pal Andrew. We don't get to see him and his family as much since we moved, so it was a nice surprise indeed. So, if T were a boy....she would be him.

Glitter, glue, paint and dough

I remember when I was in preschool and we had a Christmas ornament craft, make a star, tree or snowman with salt dough and glitterize it. My mom still has the ornament. Today we made some fun salt dough ornaments, and here is how you can do it too!

SALT DOUGH

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
enough water to make a VERY stiff dough

*if you want it scented, add 3/4 cup of cinnamon

Roll the dough out to 1/2 thickness, using all fun types of cookie cutters. These make WONDERFUL gifts to the grandparents, you can make crosses, stars, sheep, trees, snowmen...the sky is the limit!

Cook the dough in 200degree oven for 1 hour, allow to cool then paint! If you didn't want to do the painting part or where making a large batch of "same" ornaments, you can color your dough with food coloring, and add glitter ahead of time. TOTALLY up to you. We prefer to decorate them all different though.

Once they cool, paint them up, glitter them up, and finish off with a spray of clear coat or lacquer so it will last year after year! HAVE FUN!

*ours are cooling..pictures to follow!!!

Amazing book...have to share

You all know I love books. We read ALL the time to the kids and alone, at least I do...if it isn't a book on tape or a comic book, Shan is not about it LOL. I have to share an awesome kids book with all of you and especially those that have a child with a disability, delay, or autism. It is called Waiting for Benjamin : A story about autism. WOWZA. It's deep, I mean...it really hits a note. Trinity knows that her brother is special, different, in a class of his own...however you want to name it, she knows. This book really helps to identify with the "typical" sibling and all of their mixed up feelings on this roller coaster ride that we have a LIFELONG unlimited ride pass to!*holy run on sentence...but you get the point* Here is the premise of the book from the sleeve.

Alexander's little brother, Benjamin, doesn't do things the way Alexander thinks he should. He would rather stare at the wall than play with Alexander. And instead of talking, he just wiggles his fingers and rocks. Alexander knows it's wrong, but he can't help but feel embarrassed when one of his friends calls Benjamin a "wacko."

When Benjamin's family learns that he has autism, they hire special teachers to teach him how to listen and talk and play. Alexander is glad-he just wants Benjamin to grow up faster. While Benjamin works with his teachers, Alexander works through his feelings of disappointment and jealousy. As time passes and each boy grows, Alexander discovers that Benjamin isn't just his brother-he is also his friend.

It is TOTALLY worth a buy, even if your child is typical...It talks so much about differences, feelings of dissapointment, jealousy, and eventually acceptance and love. Check it out, just thought I would share.

What??? There's a FLOOR under there??

Yeah, it has been that messy around here. I *heart* Christmas, BUT...and this is a silly interjection, BUT...the mess that is created has sent me into a whirlwind of tissue paper, glittery balls....*hmm???* sorry, glittery ORNAMENTS, wrapping paper, and pine needles. How in the heck did I manage to pack all of THAT into THERE and when half of it is being used, how is it that I am somehow unable to get THIS back into THERE which is where it came from in the first place?? So, it remains, all around the house, in my sons mouth, on the stairs and in the dog bowl. And did I mention how everything is miraculously ending up wrapped? Trinity is on a wrapping frenzy and nothing is sacred. But still, with all of this Hurricane Hydeman running around, I am feeling extremely thankful for my mess...I know that many others are so less fortunate and less bickery at that. Merry Messness, *looking cockeyed at the tree* where did all the candy canes go???

"That's all I ever wanted him to say!"

These are the words that came bursting out of T's mouth as her little brother says in his own way "Dih - Duh - Dee"...translation Trinity.

funniest.thing.ever

The pictures kinda speak for themselves, but, I will give you a quick bio. Shannon grew his beard out shortly after T's 5th birthday party. He decided after a month of donning the mountain man persona that it was time to once again reinvent himself....and with the help of Trinity and his trusty shaver, he did just that about 5 times in a span of 30 minutes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. (Picture #5+6 are in my opinion "pee your pants" funny....it least...for me they were! LOL - Shannon is going to kill me.....)

Mountain Man Shan

Miss Trinity hard at work!

So Proud

So far, so good.... OMG....
Whatchyoulookinatpunk?



Hahaha, better and better *uh-oh, I peed a little*

Say hello to my little friend....

So trusting...

It wasn't that bad

There's my boy!

Giardia??? WHAT?

Tristan had his appointment with the Gastro Ped today. A little background on little t's poop...because I know you all are DYING to know! He has NEVER had a solid stool in his life...ok, I am wrong, with the exception of maybe 2 and those were a fluke thing. He has a bowel movement 6-8 times a day, and there is ALWAYS undigested food in his stool. Everytime he eats, he poops. We used to think it was so clever, "wow, he has his bm's on a schedule...he is going to be EASY to potty train!" Little did we know that it was because he was just passing the food directly in and out...We sent in 3 samples to his Ped to be tested for any blood, abnormalities and the such. It came back positive for something called Giardia. Giardia is a waterborne parasite that causes EXTREME diarrea and fatigue. The GI doesn't seem to think that this is what has been causing his poopy issues, but, it doesn't help. Right now, they are leaning more on the side of Celiac Disease or possibly Crohns, but we have to treat the parasite first...so that means antibiotics for 10 days and then they have to scope him. I will post again once we discover this craziness....but, for the meantime, keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as always, we are very thankful for them!

BLAH

i am sick. yuck. do mom's get sick days? ug. how much diarrea can come out of one person? i mean really? i need to eat something....hold on *BLLLBLBLAHALHKL:HA* yeah, better not eat anything. so, if i don't answer the phone, i can garuntee i am a slave to the potty. and letters, just address them to

jenn hydeman
the potty
poopy alley
hell 969696

Wanna know how water is made??? Ask T.

T : "Know how they make water??"
ME: "How WHO makes water?"
T: "You know, them...people."
ME: "Ok, sure, how do they make water?"
T: " Well, they buy ice - put it into this recycled bottle *pointing to her empty water bottle* and let it sit out. Then, in the morning...BAM, water."
ME: "Bam huh?...just like that?
T: "Just like that."
ME: "Well, how do THEY make waterfalls then."
T : *without any hesitation* "Oh, I don't know that, God takes care of the big stuff."

5 going on infinity

You have heard me talk about how insightful and wise Trinity is? She is, so much wiser beyond her years. When I was pregnant with her, I had a reading done. When I walked into the room the intuitive started to say how "SHE" (this is before we knew we were having a girl) how she was going to change the world, one person at a time. She went on to say that she was an extremely old soul, and that she was one of the brightest energies she has experienced. That she would leave a positive impact on all those that she met. I believe it, whole heartedly, that she is all of these things. We started to see it very early on.

When she was only 4 days old, we went to the store close to our house, everyone kept stopping to see her, EVERYONE...it was kinda weird at first, but then we saw the joy that she brought in everyone and we welcomed it. She has always had an interest in people. She has NEVER been shy or afraid. Through out toddlerhood, she would always bring smiles to peoples faces, she would talk to people like an adult talks to another adult and we were constantly being told how she is so comfortable and enjoyable to be around. She is really artsy and senstive, and we just love her personality. Don't get me wrong, she is HIGH energy, but, I think a lot of that stems from how bright of a light she is.

Now, into childhood, she has developed a way to read people, good and bad. She notices and discusses injustices, she tells me about the people that she thinks are not "happy" and though she attempts to make them feel "happy" again, she knows when to move on. Last night, Shannon and I were discussing the proposition regarding same sex marriages...Let me start by saying, I know a lot of people have different stances on this, we believe that love is love....and no government has the right to define that. Trinity chimes right in and says something that amazed us both. "I feel really sad for the people that can't get married. They love each other, the State (YES, she said THE STATE) has no right to take that away from them....who has the right to say who we can love and be married to???" WOWZA. It was deeper than we could have imagined.

Autism. I swear, she knows more about this than me. She understands it, knows her brother is not retarted, not slow, or even disabled. She pushes him to try his hardest, she is his best therapist, let me tell you what. She is proud when he accomplishes a task that he has been working so hard at. She stands up for him when others are mean. She is not embarassed by or even put off by his challenges, rather, laughs it off by saying in a cute voice "TRISTAN!!!! You silly bubbub."

We continue to watch her change and grow into a completely amazing person. From the time she said DADA to Shannon at 3 months, to these very deep conversations that we find ourselves having, we are excited to see what she will come up with next. She is definitely wiser than most adults I know, ok, and cuter too!

Oh,, I just love her....

I just get this "I wanna eat you up" feeling everytime I see this face.

I just love her. SO much. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, for her....she is feeling SOOOO much better and is back to her old sassy self. The Lord really does challenge us in ways that we may not understand, but the end result really brings us clarity. I am thankful to have such great friends and family and such a strong support system.

T is amazing. She is smart, witty, compassionate and wiser than she will ever know. She talks SOOO much, but I love it. Whenever I find myself getting the least bit annoyed by her endless jargon, I think about my Tristan, and how he is wordless....I remember to be thankful for her voice. We are so very thankful to have her in our lives, and will forever be greatful to be her parents.

Having some fun in the sand!

Shannon and I have been working FURIOUSLY on the backyard. We have put in a border, rocks, seed and even a SANDBOX!!! T and t are so happy to have an outdoor space to play that doesn't involve dust and dog poop...I don't blame them, do you? Albert came over to help out and they dumped load after load in the pit, and even some on T! Tristan took it as an opportunity to play "King of the Mountain".

T's Observations

I love children's observations, how that little brain works. Trinity's brain FASCINATES me! She recently lost a peice of paper, and her remote...she comes in and says

T: "HEY, that's weird..."(very concerned look on her face)

ME: "What's so weird baby?"

T: "First, I can't find the silly pamote (AKA REMOTE), now, my peice of paper is missing....weirder and weirder"

ME: (with a smile) "What do you think happened to them???"

T: "If I had to take a guess what it is, it would be, like a ghost sneeking in our house, grabbing our remote and paper and hiding it....HEY, maybe they took your keys too?? You know, how you are always losing those!"

So, keep your eyes open for ghosts coming in and hiding your things...Hey, maybe that's where that missing $200 from our account went??

Prayers, Prayers everywhere....send us some if you have to spare!

WOWZA...we have been hit by a lot lately, but, nothing that we can't handle right? It doesn't always feel that way, we are trying to stay positive and appreciate everything that all of our friends and family have done to help. I need to call upon you all again for a special prayer...2 actually. The first...if you could pray for Trinity. She is going through a tough time right now, and she needs all the positive and loving energy you can send her way. Please pray that she can find calm and peace. The next is for Tristan. He has surgery for his ears on Wednesday. He has been being seen by an amazing ENT and we basically found out that he has had blockage for God only knows how long. Coupled with the fluid in his ears, he has been virtually unable to hear us at times...which explains the language delay. This Wednesday..yes, 2 days from now...he has his surgery, they will remove the fluid and blockage and put in tubes. Please pray that he does well before, during and after surgery. I will post more later. Thanks for your prayers.

Heaven's Very Special Child

This poem gets me through some of the ROUGHEST times...I hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!

"A meeting was held quite far from earth

It's time again for another birth,

said the angels to the Lord above.

This special child will need much love.

His progress may seem very slow,

accomplishments, he may not show

and he'll require extra care

from the folks he meets down there.

He may not run or laugh or play

his thoughts may seem quite far away,

In many ways he won't adaptand

he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,

we want his life to be content.

Please Lord, find the parents who,

will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away

the leading role they're asked to play

but with this child sent from above

comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the priveledge

given in caring for this gift from Heaven.

Their precious charge, so meek, so mild

is Heaven's very special child."

Edna Massimilla

OUTRAGE

Dennis Leary has NEVER been a favorite person of mine...but now, he is definitely on my S*IT list. Read Here and let me know what you think.

Halloween is going to STINK this year!

Happy Birthday Trinity!!

Trinity turned 5 years old today. What a GREAT celebration. We threw a Superhero themed birthday party and were the "Super" family...I was Lois Lane at a party LOL. We encouraged guests to come dressed as their favorite crime fighters and we were SO pleased that many of them did. I love birthdays. The gathering of family and friends to celebrate a life well lived.

Trinity, you are SOOO amazing to me. I appreciate our time together. I adore you and am so proud of the little girl you have become. You were so thankful for all of your guests and the gifts that they brought. I love that you kept saying "OH, it's just what I wanted...." or even better "I have wanted this my WHOLE life, THANK YOU!!" it was really fun to watch you open the presents. You looked SO cute in your supergirl costume.

The kids played games and earned prizes, it was really fun to see them enjoying themselves. After most everyone left except for our closest friends, we were excited to find a beautiful rainbow had filled the sky above our house. I like to think that it was my Grandmother wishing miss T a happy day. It was really amazing to see.

Trinity spent the end of her night playing with her 3 best friends, Tatum, Jillian and Tristan. They were racing down the slides...Tristan thought they were hilarious. Then he took his turn.

Jillian stayed a bit and they took a bath, it's times like this that I wish I lived closer to friends and family :( It was nice to see all of you, thank you SOOO much for sharing our special day, Trinity and ALL of us had a wonderful time.