Our Journey to Forever

Sunday, August 12, 2007

1 week has past....some thoughts on cloth

August 4th - Present

Day 1 - I got a few of the diapers last night and I have to say, they look amazing! I can't wait to get the rest of them. I sewed some inserts (since I am SURE I will be needing them) and am washing them as we speak. Shannon thinks its funny that I am getting this excited about putting something on our son that he is just going to shit on...but, he appreciates why we are doing it, so that is half the battle LOL!

OMG, these cloth diapers are the SWEETEST things I have ever seen. I just love the way that they feel on him. I mean, holding him and feeling cloth instead of paper on my arm is a strangley comforting feeling. He seems happier. They are super easy to put on...I am in love with this.

Day 2 - Ok, so, we had a blowout today...not like MAJOR, but some leakage took place, WAAAAYYY too much applesauce in his diet (and I am sure you are thingking, WAAY TMI)! But never fear....I OVERSTUFFED the diaper (yay for microfiber inserts!) It cleaned up so much easier than I feared LOL, so, we are good! I had to put Tristan in a "sposie" today (disposable diaper) Trinity says to me "MOM, what are you doing? Those are not the right ones!" Ah yes, my daughter has become a CD loving sister!

Day 3 - I have resorted to sewing some of my own diaps! I found several patterns online and with the help of a tutorial (AKA a friend of mine walked me through one that she made) a few of my own personal tweaks, and VIOLA!

A handmade diaper just for my bubbers! This is really going to be addicting..I can feel it! Made some little ones for a friend and for Trinity's baby dolls too...Look out Martha Stewart...Jenn Hydeman is on the trail! (wow, that sounded really retarded...)

Day 4 - I am now the subscriber to SEVERAL diaper communities, my friend Marissa and I are TRULY becoming obsessed! This is BAAAADDD, (but in a completely good, Green, Earth friendly, kinda way!) My "stash" as they call it, is really growing! I can't wait to try them all on him (come on, poop already!) yeah, I know....

Day 5 - I truly have no idea why we didn't do this sooner...I really don't. Aside from the initial cost factor, we are going to save so much, we are not adding to this HORRIBLE overabundance of trash and waste in our landfills, they look and feel soooo wonderful, and they are fun to change. Yes, I said FUN TO CHANGE...it is a great accessory to clothes, although, the fuzzy, bumpy little butt has a hard time fitting into a few pairs of pants...but hey, he doesn't need pants...show the diaper baby! The only "person" that it has affected negatively is our dog Dakota...no more "scobby snacks" or diapers that he can stumble upon...yuckas, he is gross!

Day 6 - Someone commented on the diaper that I made for him! "You should totally sell those"...hmmm, I think I just may! I have a few more kinks to work out, but, with the help of friends, I can try them out and see what they think too! So, anyone interested in some diapers LOL!

Day 7 - We went out and about today, ran to several different stores...he had a REALLY wet and soiled diaper that I had to change, I guess the only thing I need to figure out is, how do I rinse them when we are out? Anyone that CD's try and help me with that..will ya! Other than that, still loving it. I am really happy that we decided to do this, and I think that if you have a baby, and want to do something wonderful for them, go cloth! This public service announcement has been brought to you by Jenn, a crazy AP, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, Trinity and Tristan loving, cloth diapering ADDICT!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

I am going to do it...

I have finally decided to take the plunge...I am going to do what I can to help contribute to a greener earth...I am going Cloth! We are excited, I feel like a new person, I know people are going to think we are nuts, but who cares...We are going to ditch the disposable diaps and go all natural...cloth diapering! For those that hear those words and cringe..let me tell you, a lot has changed since when we were kids. No more pins and saggy, soiled linens...oh no my friend, there is an entirely different world out there, an almost cultish following of CD-ers. They have WONDERFUL innovations that are going to help me to save the earth of the millions of diapers that are overflowing our landfills everyday. They are going to keep my baby's butt dry and clean. They are going to show my daughter that we can do something to try and make a difference..they are going to be so cute! LOL. I am excited, just wanted to spread the word!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Sunday, July 1, 2007

REFLECTING

So here it is...a mere 2 weeks until my baby turns 1, so, I do as any mom would do, I reflect. I reflect on the journey we had with Trinity and Shannon by my side..the entire pregnancy, delivery and labor. I remember how they would rub my back or play with my hair if I were feeling sick...how Trinity would talk to Tristan in my belly, telling him how she would love him forever. When he would move, and it would bump her, she would jokingly say "brother, you kicked me, that is not nice..say sorry!" we would all laugh hysterically. I remember all the midwife appointments and Trinity coming with me to every single one. I am proud of how we handled our pregnancy and the honesty that we had with Trin...she was included in the entire process.

I loved being pregnant, feeling him move inside me, the flutters and the feeling like my stomach bottomed out on a really scary ride...I don't know if any other moms experienced this..but I loved it when he would talk to me...through imagery. It happened A LOT when I was pregnant with Trinity, and some when I was with Tristan...I would get these little fleeting moments that would be images of baby things, like memories of things to come...it didn't seem like something that I was conjuring up...but something that was shown to me. Did that make any sense? Ok, visual...I would see a carousel, or smell baby...I would get glimpses of him, a smile, his blonde-ish brown hair..little hands. It was wonderful.

I loved taking baths with Trinity, she would attack my tummy and hug and talk to Tristan. She would tell me how much she loved me and the baby growing in my tummy. I would nurse her and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to share with brother...I couldn't wait to nurse another baby.

I loved how my labor and delivery took place..that it was all natural, I am happy that I carried to 43 weeks...YES, 43 weeks! He took his time in utero, just as he is taking his time in life now. I used a midwife, Lynette, she was amazing. I didn't take any medication, and she was so encouraging and wonderful every step of the way. Tristan was born on July 15th at 8:45PM after just 9 hours of hard and constant labor. No epidural, no meds...just constant support and love frome EVERYONE in the room...including Trinity. She watched the entire process. I remember when I was screaming, she looked over with concern, and when I would catch my breath, she would have this sense of calm come over here...she would smile, and I would get my strength to do it again. My mom was wonderful, sitting with her the entire time, I remember looking over seeing her play cars with my mom, and stickers, stroking her arm if she showed too much concern. I remember nursing Trinity to help the contractions start...it was really amazing. When Tristan was born Trinity watched him like a hawk, going over with Daddy to check on him. She saw my afterbirth coming, and said very matter of factly "Who is coming out of her now??" I laughed so hard it was hard to feel any pain...I would not have changed anything.

Tristan was a big boy at birth just as he is now...10 lbs....ok, 9 lbs 15 oz (COME ON...GIVE ME THE 10, what is 1 measly oz??) He was so calm and serene, different from his big sister. I loved him instantly. He is the best baby, always has been. I remember reading Trinity stories when we got home, and as we would be reading her a story to sleep, he would be next to me in his cradle, drifting off too. He ate and slept, ate and slept...ok, ocassional poop and pee too! But really, caused no commotion or fuss...Trinity and Tristan are absolute Yin and Yang. She had colic so terribly bad, and reflux. So, we were happy that he didn't have to go through that..or us.

JULY 15th 2007

I am happy to be a mommy to 2...my calm little boy, so inflective, so amazingly smart and a quite thinker. To my little girl, my "Look out world, here I am" little girl...so smart and extroverted...so sweet and complex. I sit her on my son's 1st birthday thinking...will I do it again? Do we want to have anymore children....honestly, I can't say yes or no. I do know that I really enjoy our current family dynamic...I know Trin loves her brother so much and said she ONLY wants brother. I know that my lap is just the right size to hold 2 wonderful little ones. I do know that my heart is big enough to hold many more though, so, we shall see!

Mama's Boy

Tristan loves to snuggle...with his teething, he really finds it to be the most soothing thing...me too. Right before his nap, he will reach out for me and just melt into my lap. I love my little Mama's Boy!!!

Ride On Baby!

Trinity has graduated FULLY from her (IMO) rockin' tricycle to her big girl bike. She is AMAZING to watch. We all mount up on our bikes and she gets on hers, rides it like a big girl...up hills, down hills, stops and pulls off to the side at the very site of cars. This morning she and Daddy went out on a longer ride, Momma has been tired lately, and she wanted to let me take a nap with brother. She rode at least 5 miles. ON HER OWN...that is huge. She is so proud of herself...as we are too! GOOD JOB TRIN!!!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Great Words

I love it when she uses words that are beyond her years

THOUGHTUL

She comments when someone does something that is kind..."Momma, that was really nice, how thoughtful." I love this about her...that SHE herself is one of the most kind and thoughtful kids that I know.

DESERVE

Last night we were playing frisbee with our dog Dakota outside and Trinity coaches him "Dakota, if you wait until I call your name, then run down here to get the frisbee, then you really deserve it!" I love that she understands the meaning of this word.

RUDE

A man in the grocery store bumps into me and the cart very hard, looks right at me and scoffs as if to say GET OUT OF MY WAY...Trinity, noticing the look on my face says "Mommy, that man was very rude to you wasn't he?"

DISGUSTING

Upon tasting fresh ginger...raw, "Yuck, Momma...THAT was disgusting."

REMIND

She uses this word every day on several different levels...

DESCRIBE

"Momma, tell me about it...describe it to me please." And actually speaking of describing, this is now her chosen method to fall asleep...she closes her little eyes, rests her head on my shoulder and asks me to describe a story to her...basically walking her through an imagery dream..a story for her brain to feast upon. It is amazingly relaxing, an actually the basis to beginner meditation!!!

There are SOOOO many more, and because I have taken it for granted, I seem to have forgotten..a big NO NO in my book!!! I will remember, and will try NOT to take these moments as fleeting ones, they just go too fast.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Weaned

For those who don't already know, we decided long ago that we would allow our children to wean from breastfeeding at their own pace.

Trinity has been "day weaned" for sometime now. She just recently decided that she wanted to be TOTALLY weaned (within the last couple weeks or so). She has said things like "Mommy, I am ready to be done nursing so I can have a sleepover with my Emma" (her cousinn). Or, "Mommy, I am going to go to sleep in my own room tonight, with no nursies...my animals (her fish and hermit crab) want me to sleep with them tonight." SO, with that said, we went balls to the wall. She has been "tickled" to sleep. Now, don't get me wrong, she goes to sleep with out nursing, but, we are really doing it now...no nursing, even if she mentions that she wants to, because, she is REALLY ready! So, the cutest, funniest thing, now that she has been "dry" for a week or so. Tonight, when I am tickling her back, she says, "Mommy, I changed my mind", I say, "Bout what baby?" she says, "About nursing and becoming a big girl, I changed my mind" (meaning, she wanted to nurse) I say "It doesn' t really work like that sweet pea" and she says "I don't want to be big yet, maybe next week" I was laughing....and told her to snuggle with me while I tickle her back. She feel asleep. The greatest part of all of this for me is that she did this all on her own, no tears.

I am sure some people think we are insane. Some may even say "ABOUT TIME", we think it is the perfect timing, HER timing...and, well, I don't care what anyone else thinks....if I did, then I wouldn't be her parent, they would. I am proud of my baby...I mean, little girl!!!!

CRAWL BABY!

Tristan is officially crawling! He still likes to low crawl, but he is doing the "all fours" so much more now! YEAH TRISTAN! It seems that after our little meeting with the Early Intervention Moderator, it seems he has decided to "show us". Here is a little list of things he is doing that he was NOT doing when they saw us last.
-Crawling
-Pulling up to a stand
-Banging toys together
-Raising both arms up to be picked up
-Standing and leaning down to pick up a toy
OK...I think he is just playing a little game of, "don't try and make me do anything until I am ready!"

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Doctors are like Barbers

My dad made a good point....Doctors are like Barbers...their jobs rely on the concept of a "need". If that need is not present, then their jobs are not justified. Barbers will tell people that they need a haircut, even if you don't, just as Doctors will find something wrong even if their isn't. In my experience as a mom, I find this to be VERY true.

This is all coming about because of our meeting with the EI yesterday. She said that Tristan does have a noticable delay in Gross Motor Functions...about 50%, but I wonder, how could they notice this in just one 2 hour visit? She seemed concerned enough to refer us to a PT. But, Tristan is functioning at a level that seems to be to par with other babies his age.

I worry too much. I need to stop doing that. I am just going to enjoy him. We don't need any haircuts over here, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

101 Things you may not know about me, Jenn

1)-I am very hard on myself
2)-I love lemons
3)-I love Doritos
4)-I love lemons AND Doritos...TOGETHER
5)-The Beatles are one of my favorite bands in history
6)-I love Bob Marley
7)-I love breastfeeding
8)-The smell of my husbands armpits turn me on
9)-I miss Bob Ross
10)-I like "Happy Little Trees"
11)-I think that everyone, even grouchy people, are generally good
12)-I am naive about peoples intentions
13)-I love the earth, but I fear about it's future
14)-I am very spiritual
15)-I worry too much
16)-I love my hair...even when it is wrapped around a little babies finger and being pulled from my skull
17)-I don't mind when my kid(s) wake up in the middle of night...I think it is our chance to reconnect
18)-I think that animals really do talk when we are not around
19)-I name inadimate objects...like cars, houses, toys...they get names
20)-I am a hippie
21)-I appreciate organization
22)-I color coordinate my closet
23)-BY SHADE
24)-Going from left to right
25)-I am not anal retentive..quit saying that...I just LOVE seeing a rainbow everytime I open my closet..geesh
26)-I can be defensive at times
27)-I know the weirdest things..random stuff...I get it from my dad
28)-I have asthma
29)-I don't have noise hairs
30)-You don't want to know why
31)-I once ate 45 fresh jalepenos in a jalepeno eating contest and beat out a fat, mexican guy to win!
32)-NO, that's NOT how I lost my nose hairs
33)-I overuse the period...but I love it...it gives me more time to talk...without capitalization
34)-I like lower case letters better than big ones...I think the big ones are too loud
35)-When I sign my name, it is in all lower case
36)-I am silly
37)-I love sex...with MY husband of course!
38)-I get lost when I look at my children
39)-I love Hawaii
40)-One day we will live there
41)-I like kitchen gadgets
42)-I am addicted to Reality TV
43)-I love Madonna
44)-Heroes ROCKS
45)-I am a great cook
46)-I love being around deep thinkers
47)-I think smarts is sexy
48)-I love laughing
49)-I love to decorate
50)-Family ALWAYS comes first
51)-I love the smell of white towels when they come fresh from the dryer...just the whites ones
52)-Painting is therapuetic
53)-Photography excites me
54)-NO not the risky kind
55)-Ok, maybe a little...but I am talking about taking pictures of people and documenting their lives
56)-I let my pets kiss me on the mouth
57)-I like the smell of wet dog
58)-Just, not on my couch
59)-I meditate
60)-I have had an out of body experience
61)-I HATE cigarettes
62)-I gab
63)-Sometimes, more than I should
64)-I am a homebody
65)-I love food
66)-I can wiggle my ears
67)-I like getting a really good deal, it makes me feel a sense of accomplishment
68)-I hate to backtrack
69)-I don't like wasting time, I use each moment to it's fullest
70)-I let Trinity ride her bike in the house
71)-I am proud of the parenting choices we have made
72)-I like the smell of cut wood
73)-I love Home Improvement stores
74)-I want to live on a farm
75)-I am a night owl
76)-But, I am getting used to getting up early
77)-I LOVE the smell of lavender
78)-The color pink always reminds me of Trinity
79)-I love vintage cars
80)-I can hotwire a car
81)-My eyes change color based on my mood and the time of day
82)-I sucked my finger until I was in Middle School
83)-I believe in happy endings
84)-I am a "hope-full" romantic
85)-Brown eyes are prettier to me than colored ones
86)-I wear jeans in the summer
87)-I wear flip flops all year round
88)-I only cut my hair once every few years...and even then, it's a trim
89)-I have a phobia of getting my haircut
90)-I hate popcorn - if I eat it, it is only a "hand/mouth" response to watching a movie and because my inlaws bought the stuff!
91)-I cry often...not always because I am sad, but to cleanse my soul...or maybe I had something in my eye, either way, I am a cry baby
92)-I can hear a song once and play the melody on a musical instrument
93)-I can play 10 instruments
94)-NO, not all at once
95)-I love to BLOG
96)-I think my husband is sexy, and I am still head over heels in love with him
97)-I don't always shower everyday-but I smell minty fresh
98)-I have a fear of large things (BOATS, PLANES, vast bodies of water)
99)-I am trilingual
100)-I have good friends
101)-I am happy with who I am

Monday, June 4, 2007

Trinity Pursuit

Trinity discovered my Trivial Pursuit game that Shannon bought for me for Christmas...she immediately wanted to play it. So, we made a "Trinity friendly" version of the game. Instead of asking the trivia questions, we have her role the dice for the color, we ask a question like "What is your phone number" "What city do you live in" "What letter does the word "DOG" begin with" ETC. anywho, she has memorized her phone number, knows her city/state/subdivision where she lives, knows all our first middle and last names (including nana and papa's) and is learning more and more. It is a super fun way to play an otherwise tricky little game!

Tristan, you are perfect

My son, he is the cutest thing ever. His PED seems to thing that he is showing signs of Delay, mostly in the Gross Motor department...but keep in mind, he is VERY large for his age, so yeah..he can't pick up his body and stand by himself..he weighs 28lbs for crying out loud! He has been given various tests, Early Intervention has been over a few times to evaluate him..now they want to come back again. I don't think that there is anything wrong, he is just slower than some in certain things, whereas he is advanced in others. A part of me feels that maybe there is...but, I feel confused because the Docs tell you "don't compare your child to other children" then they use this comparison to evaluate them...why the double standard?

I love him. I think he is perfect, it just is so hard for me when others, namely, his PED. want him to get all these tests done...and I don't think they are necessary. We came to the conclusion that no matter what any test shows, we will love him...we do love him...so, why does it matter? I suppose early prevention is best, but really, what can I do that I am not already doing? I was a speech therapist for autistic children...you think I couldn't recognize ASD in my own child? I know how to evaluate for these things better than them! It's just a little frustrating...it's like they are saying something is wrong with him. SO, I guess, keep us in your thoughts, and we will keep you posted! Take care :)

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Swimming, Swimming!

Trinity did it! She swam ALL BY HERSELF for the first time...without floaties or some sort of device...including someone holding her. We were so proud. We were at Shannon's parents house and they were in the pool (Trin and Shan) he was sitting right on the step with her, and she didn't have her floaties on yet, he turned for just a SECOND, and she drifted into the pool, he turned around and there she was, treading water! This re-emphasized to us the importance of watching your kids around water...he was RIGHT NEXT TO HER! After grabbing her and holding her tight, asking her if she was ok...he says to her "TRIN, YOU SWAM!" With a big ole' grin on her face she says "I DID?!" Then, it was swimming lessons in the pool for an hour or so. She was so determined, kept going to the steps, swim to daddy, swim to the side of the pool, walk the wall back to the steps. She loved it. I am so happy today, my little girl is really growing up!

Friday, June 1, 2007

My Dad

I love him. He is so caring, strong, sweet, passionate about things important to him, he loves my mother so much, he is smart, he adores my babies, he loves me.

Growing up I remember him being the dad that the kids were afraid of. I really hate typing that...but, it is true. I remember Jackie saying to me "I am scared of your Dad", and the sad thing, so was I. He was the quiet dad that only really talked out loud when you did something wrong. He was the Dad that constantly disciplined, to a fault. I was a good kid, but never felt like it. There was yelling...some hitting, but, that is not who he is now...neither his life nor mine, is not framed by what we were given . He is an entirely different person now. I love that he has completely transformed into an amazing man. I mean, I have always looked up to him...but, now I respect him too..does that make sense? I guess I should go back to the beginning.

They (my dad and his siblings) did not get much in the department of love when they were younger. Just a few of the stories he has told me have made me come home and hug my kiddos just a little harder..and cry quietly while I think that a child had to go through something so horrible. For respect of his family, I will not repeat them here, let's just say, I can understand why the Menendez Brother's did what they did. So, with that in mind, it is understandable that he did not show a lot of affection when we were kids.

They say that you find out how your family really is when you have a family of your own, I GET it now. I see how hard life must have been for him as a child, and I understand why he treated us certain ways. I made ammends with him LONG ago. I remember at my wedding day, we were taking our Father - Daughter dance and he started crying. This was the 2nd time I had ever seen him cry. He says to me, "Youre a good girl Jenny." I *now crying myself* say to him, "Youre a good Daddy" then he replies, "No, not always." That was it..an apology for how things went. He took accountability for how he treated me as a child. I never again thought about how I wish things would have been different growing up, all I could wish for was a happy future. This brings us to now.

Today we went to my parents house as we normally do at least once a week. Trinity REALLY looks forward to these visits, so do I. We did the typical routine, eat, Trin goes on the buggy with Nana, swims in the jacuzzi, but today...today was a little different. My dad sat with her on the couch, and they watched cartoons together. She crawled up, pretty much onto his lap, and he swung his big arm out for her to snuggle in. There they were, all melted together, not a care in the world...just being Papa and Trinity. It was really touching. Something so simple, so "normal" was just an amazing thing to see. He is an awesome Papa...so THIS, this is what I will always remember about my Dad, the BEST Dad a girl could ask for. He loves my babies, and for that, he is the most improved Dad ever. Today was a really good day.