We're BAAAACK!

Wow, that was fun. I will blog more about the trip later...but for now, enjoy some pics!

Off we go to Mexico!

I am SO excited for this trip...we really need a little getaway. I can't wait to hang out on the beach, sit on the sand, go swimming...in the tub...you know I don't like large bodies of water! I am going to give it a valiant effort though, really, I will. Stay tuned for pics from the Beach.

Mmmm, burnt meat??? Wait, WHAT?

After getting ready to head into town (yes, I said "into town"), Trinity came over to me, took a long drawn breath through her nostrils and said very sweetly and adoringly
"MMM, Mama, you smell good. *me trying to break in with a thank you..but then this followed* like burnt meat."
HUH? How do I take that compliment? Thanks, I guess. Kids are hilarious, and apparently mine likes the smell of burnt meat.

We are on the right track!

Tristan has been receiving Occupational therapies for 3 months now...I can't believe that it has been that long...has it been that long??? And Speech for about 3 weeks. We hadn't noticed huge leaps in vocabulary, but, his gross motor skills have increased greatly. He still falls a lot, is super clumsy, but, again...he is a BIG BOY!!! And, well, his mama is quite the clutz.

Well, the reason for this blog is that I wanted to share with you all a great breakthrough that we have found. My mother took me to the Woman's expo last month, and we met a man that was selling supplemental products. Now, I don't divuldge to the general public that my son is autistic..for a few reasons, 1) None of their business 2) It should not weigh into how he is viewed or treated, so, why share it 3) He is perfect to us... So, anyway...this man is talking to other people about the supplements, and I hear the word "AUTISTIC BOY" and automatically perk up. Long story short, a Mother and Father of a 2 year old NON verbal, Severly Autistic boy came to this man in desperate search for help. They had tried just about everything from GFCF diets, DAN doctors, injections, therapies..you name it...but to no avail. They started their son out on a series of supplements and within 3 weeks...YES, 3 weeks, they noticed a change. Their son started saying words, out of nowhere...then, one day, he say "Hi Daddy...." and kept growing on his vocab from there. By 5 years of age he was able to be integrated into Mainstream school and there was no trace of his once Autistic life.

I then told the man that my son was Autistic and he and his wife immediately wanted to help. Tristan is very very very sweet, social and loving..but, he does not talk. He has MAYBE a handful of words that he uses but only when prompted or modeled for him. He has NEVER said Mama, and I have to say, typing that, it breaks my heart. The system is by a company called BioGreen Systems. They are ALL natural, and jam packed with all the nutrients, vitamins and minerals that you need. Tristan is on a 4 step process and takes it in a shake twice a day. I have to tell you...it tastes amazing.

Ok, on to the good stuff. PROGRESS. He has started talking...spontaneously! My dad walked into a room and he yells with passion "PAPA!!!!" We were giving him a bath and Trinity was blowing bubbles he screams "BUBBLES!!!" I was counting cards with Trinity, he walks up next to us and starts throwing cards down like we were saying "Two, Two, Two...." he was trying with all his might to get up on Trinity's bed and looks right at me and says "UP" He was playing with his favorite bear, and he says "BLUE BEAR" I showed him a card of a train and he says "Choo Choo..." I was nursing him, and for the FIRST time ever, he made eye contact with me...he was looking right at me, clear as day....then he smiled. I am crying writing this....we have made a major breakthrough, and it is all through fixing his diet and adding the right nutritional supplements he needs. He takes a cleanse pill 2 times a day to push out any heavy metals, toxins, pollutants and such from his body...and, for the first time in his life, he had a NORMAL bowel movement.

If you know someone who is Autistic, has an Autistic Child...PLEASE give them my information. I would love to talk with them about this product. I am going to start selling it, and any profits that I recieve will go to Autism Research. I believe STRONGLY in this product, and I hope that through this, we will see an end to Autism. Thanks for reading guys....

How do you want to be remembered?

I think about this alot...I know I shouldn't, I try as much as possible to live in the "now", but, in doing so, I remember that all the things I do and the choices I make in the "now" will directly affect the "soon to come". SO, I think about how I want to be remembered....not by everyone, mainly, my children. I want them to think of me and think that I was a wonderful mother. I want them to recall times when I played and laughed with them instead of saying "Not now, I am doing something..maybe in a minute". I want them to remember that I was a great wife. Shannon and I think it is VERY important that our children see how much we love one another, we kiss, hold hands, play and laugh a lot in front of them. Trinity is often heard in the background "Ahhh, that is so sweet mama." She loves it when we kiss....hopefull romantic like here mama I suppose.
So, how will you like to be remembered? Think about this when you are with your children today...hug them a lot, kiss them a lot, tell them how much you need them and adore them....and they will remember only that...that they loved you and you loved them.
Oh, and yes, I am a sap.

Yell if you want to....

this is great advice...
http://www.sarahchanaradcliffe.com/Yell_If_You_Want_To.htm

Enjoying the Warmer Weather

I LOVE Spring...I think it is my favorite season...no, I know it is. I love planting beautiful vibrant colored flowers in the yard, I love cleaning the house out...I adore the evenings and the chance to take late evening walks. My children are no exception to the Springtime love. They love that it is getting warm enough to play in the water. Remember when you were little and you would play in the sprinkler? I didn't have a pool, no fancy water parks...just that yellow and aluminum oscillating sprinkler. We used to try and keep away from the water, or jump higher than the sprinkler height without touching the streams. Good times. I pulled out the yellow sprinkler, hooked it up on driveway and let the kids have at it. Fun indeed!

Things are pretty

It's amazing to me how 3 words can really change your outlook on things. Today, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by things that had to get done...I was talking to Trinity about how I am trying to bring back the Zen...i think she understood...do I really understand LOL? Anywho...she says to me, very matter of factly, "Momma, don't worry so much, things look pretty." I totally understood what she was saying, but I applied it to everything, and those 3 words are getting me through it...when I feel the AHHHHH coming on, I think, "things are pretty" it all looks good...get some pretty for yourself...it is great.

I have found Zen again

It has been rough lately....I am not going to lie. So, when the going gets tough, you can fall apart...but only do it for a second, then you have to pull it together. I have found a website that is incredibly motivating and inspires me to really get it together! Check it out if you have time, it can be life changing.

http://zenhabits.net/
There are exerpts on how to keep an uncluttered home, stop living paycheck to paycheck, simplifying your life with kids etc....good reads!

Happy Easter...yeah, I know, I'm late...

I am late posting this, but, HAPPY EASTER!!!! I love Easter, I would have to say that up there with Christmas and Thanksgiving, it is one of my all time favorites. I love decorating the eggs...ok, I love eating the eggs..but, it's fun to watch Trinity decorate them. This year, just like every other year, we spent at my parents farm. I love them. I love going there and appreciate how attentive they are to the children. They truly adore them, and value them as individual people. We had a WONDERFUL time. Trinity brought her new bunny (oh, if you haven't read the blog below...you may want to do that real quick to get caught up!) My dad had a pen all set up for her under the Apple Tree in the backyard. The kids had an egg hunt, my dad took Trinity on the tractor for their ride around the neighborhood. It was really nice to be in the company of people that I love SOOOO much. Here are some pictures from our Easter at our house and my parents.

We also went to the Buckeye HOPPY EASTER FESTIVAL and it was fabulous! They had a HUGE egg hunt for the kiddos and they seperated it by age group...which I was so thankful for. There were hundreds of eggs, and even more eager children ready to pounce on them! Here are some pics of Trinity enjoying her hunt and Tristan after he woke up, he slept through the entire thing!!!

We would like to introduce.....

HOPPY BUNNIKINS HYDEMAN

BORN: (no real idea....roughly 8 weeks ago, but adopted the day before Easter)

GENDER: Girly girl

COLOR: The most lovely shade of chocolate brown and a little white button nose

HT / WT: weebit /itsy bitsy

So, we are suckers. I am an animal advocate, everyone of my friends knows this, and well, I have raised an animal lover too. The day before Easter, we like to go as a family to the Easter Festivals that are put on through our city. This one had a petting zoo, and they had bunnies...EVERYWHERE. Now, I must say, I had NO intention of purchasing one of these little furry balls of joy, but, upon seeing the love and pure compassion my daughter offered one of the tiniest of bunnies...well, put a sucker sticker on my shirt. She is the BEST pet. She is almost potty trained in her crate. She tolerates Trinity carrying her everywhere. She sleeps on her back, legs spread...she gives kisses and responds to her name. She is so freaking cute. So, withough further adue....meet Lil Miss Hoppy Bunnikins Hydeman, our newest pet addition...that makes 9!

Picking flowers

Ok...I have to post this one. I try not to be too overly negative, it is not good for your mind, it is not good for you period...but, you DO have to get things out to clear your thoughts, so, I am doing it. It's a simple concept really, you are a little girl, you see flowers, you feel an overcompulsory need to pick them right? Well, WRONG if you go to a certain family members house that is related to me by marriage...following me so far? She loves to pick me flowers...I actually have a baggie of EVERY flower she has ever given me. This love for picking me flowers does not stop when she goes to SAID peoples house. BUT...she is reamed everytime she attempts this innocent and perfectly normal act. I don't understand it. Why can't she pluck a little flower here or there without hearing "UG, *Lord's name in vain* DON'T pick the flowers!!!!" One time, she was in their courtyard, surrounded by the MANY flowers and pots all over the place...she picks me a flower, hears the statement of how she shouldn't be doing that, like its a bad thing and that those were THEIR flowers. She responds "No, they are God's flowers." That's my girl....but, it was quickly ruined by "YEAH, but I planted them" UH, ok, that makes you better than God then? Why rebute with that? Whatever....I finally told her that it was their rules, I didn't agree with them, but, that when we are THERE, that she should refrain from doing what she loves. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Trin and the Beanstalk

So, we LOVE to plant...Trinity recently planted a bean a few weeks ago and it has sprouted. She asks me today,

TRIN: "Mama, what is this bean making??"

ME: "A beanstalk baby."

TRIN: "A BEANSTALK!!! Like JACK and the BEANSTALK?!"

ME: "Yes baby EXACTLY!!!"
TRIN: "Mama, will you climb up the beanstalk with me?"
ME: *my heart melts* "Of course honey...we can go all the way to the clouds."

TRIN: "Then we could see MiMi (Shannons passed away Grandma) and Ickeys (her fish that passed.)"
So, we are planting a beanstalk to go to Heaven apparently..anyone have anyone they want to catch up with? We are planning a trip soon LOL!

Tristan's Concussion....yes, CONCUSSION

Sooo, it was a lovely Tuesday evening, we were playing having fun at the neighbors and came home to start dinner. Tristan and Trinity were watching a television program while I whipped up some grilled cheese sandwhiches (hey, it's their favorite). I took a peek over into the Family Room and saw Tristan standing on the coffee table, I asked him calmly to get down, and started to walk towards him...he takes a tragic step backwards, and the rest, is history. I couldn't get to him fast enough, I saw it happen and couldn't catch him...he whacked the back of his head so hard I heard it CRACK...it was a horrible sound. He immediately begins to scream, and wants to nurse, after about a minute of trying to comfort himself, he begins to vomit...everywhere. Trinity starts screaming, she hates seeing him in pain. I ran to the neighbors house to see if they had a flashlight, which they did..by this point, Tristan was all dazed and wobbly, continuing to vomit. I made the executive desicion to rush him to the hospital. Shannon was shopping at the store and he rushed home in time for us to all go to the ER together...thank God, because the worst was yet to come.

We got everyone packed into the truck, and I turned on the TV to try and keep him concious...by the time I ran to strap Trinity in, he was asleep...shit. We woke him up briefly, only for him to fall asleep again...this time, he didn't wake up. I called the ER who immediately urged me to dial 911...they patched us into the local Fire Dept. that told us to pull to the side of the road and they would come get us.....Shannon was not going for that, he said that we were not going to waste anymore time waiting when he was unconcious. I agreed, and we went on our way. The fireman walked me through what to do, because, honestly, I was a little out of it. I had to stay cool though because Trinity was watching my every move, making sure that everything was ok.

Now came the fun part of trying to get him awake. I was tapping his shoulder, turning all the lights on in the truck, blasting the stereo, I even slapped him in the face, yes, I hit my child, but not in anger or as punishment...I wanted him to wake up so bad. Finally, after I dumped a bottle of cold water on him, he started to arouse.

We arrived at the ER and I rushed him in, awake, but falling back asleep..oh, did I mention he vomited all over me again? I was standing behind people that were there for what I thought were trivial reasons...of course, to them, it was probably very important, so, I understand...but, when a morbidly obese man is monopolizing the nurses complaining that after he ate at an all you can eat resturaunt, he started to feel ill....give me a fucking break...go on a diet. Anyway....I informed them of the situation, and they rushed us back.

The doctor comes in and agrees that he wants a CAT Scan and orders it STAT...that word, STAT, it makes me nervous...anyone else? I just don't like it. Anyway, they tell me they have to inject him with something called Ketamine..look it up sometime, it is not pretty. They make me sign a waiver...great, so it's MY fault if YOU do something bad to MY child...they inject him with this shit, and he starts screaming. I am holding him and singing his favorite song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...shhh baby, it's ok....you make me happy, when skies are grey....it's ok bubbub, mama's here....you'll never know dear....." and he stops crying, about 5 mins into the shot. I look at him and he is in a semi-catatonic state..eyes wide open, jolting back and forth..looking at me, but straight through me. I hated seeing him like that. I lay him down, and all these people start rushing in. He is being hooked up to monitors, oxygen etc. Then they rush him down the hall. That point...right there...that is when I finally broke down.

Shannon took Trinity to get dinner..she was so tired too, and I am sure it was really stressful for her to see all of this happening..and, well, I didn't want her around all the sick people in the ER. It only took 15 minutes, and they were back. Tristan was still asleep, or mid awake...either way, it was not a nice site. He looked like he had a stroke. His arms were all crunched up to his chest, there was drool coming out of his mouth...I was just a mess looking at my perfect boy, all out of sorts. I wanted to just kiss him and have him wake up. I wanted to close my eyes REALLY tight and hope that when I opened them, he was back. I kept thinking, "is this it? Is this what he is going to be like?" I thought he was going to be a vegetable. I know now that I was really overreacting, but come on, tell me you would not have been the same way.

The nurse was concerned because he wasn't waking. She called the Dr. who performed a series of tests, he finally pissed Tristan off because he was coming through a bit...that was the first time in my life that I was happy to see someone poking and proding at him. He fell right back asleep, but, it was 11PM by this time. The CT came back negative! YES! We were under observation for just a little bit and the nurse told me the next 48 hours were critical. If there was a little brain bleed *please don't say brain bleed lady* if there was one, we would know in that time frame.

He slept all night, ALL night. Normally he wakes at least once to nurse...I wanted him to wake up so bad. I slept like shit.

So, on to today. He is good. He is irritable as all get out, but, they said that can last up to a week following a concussion. He is still trying to climb, but, to my surprise, listens when I remind him that it is dangerous. I have to say, I thought that I lost my little boy. I really truly did. It was a horrible feeling, one that I don't think I will quite ever shake. Cherish them...cherish them...it really can end in a second's time.

Emotional Roller Coaster, ticket for one please...

Really, does it ever feel that way for you sometimes? I mean, up and down, this way that way...where will we end up next. There are days that I feel like I am LITERALLY falling apart. I find bones and joints that just don't seem to move as they use to. I am finding new wrinkles that I never imagined could possibly sprout up. I have a few grey hairs...I will admit it, not from my mouth, but I can type it at least. Shannon is most definitely my scotch tape holding together all the peices that I call broken, and that he just calls bruised. I am forever greatful. Amongst it all though, I am finding that my heart is still growing, that I am still learning, and that each new day brings that butterfly feeling from the top of that roller coaster as I come tumbling down, falling free and easy. I am ready to climb up again, tomorrow is a new day on this roller coaster, and I can't wait to see where the ride will end, anyone care to join me?