You are my sunshine

Reflux Sux

Adeline has officially been diagnosed with severe reflux. My poor babe. We saw this happen with our Trinity, and now, little miss a is dealing with it too. Luckily, she turns to the breast for comfort, and is gaining weight as she should be...but, on the same note, it is causing her to have more cases of flare up. We took her to the doctor for what we thought was a bad cold. The doctor looked up her nasal passages and reported that all the inflammation was to be attributed to the stomach acid coming back up her throat and into her sinus cavity. They started her on Zantac, which she had a horrible reaction to, so we are putting her on Prevacid now, keep your fingers crossed that it will help!

Tristan's First day of school! *SUPER late post!*

This was supposed to be posted back in October...I know *slap on hand* bad mama blogger.

October 19, 2010

Oh man...I thought this day would never come. I know, melodramatic much? But hear me out....he is still such a baby to me. Maybe it's because he doesn't speak, but...I feel this overwhelming need to protect him, even more than I thought I would.

First day comes, I am doing surprisingly ok. Then, drop off time. I start to unravel a bit. Shannon and Trinity were both there for moral support, but, I had to hold back the tears. He was so sweet with his back pack on. He walked with Daddy and Sis, hand and hand while I followed like a mad woman taking pictures. Just so you know, pregnant, walking a backwards while taking pictures, probably not the best of ideas...but, I did get some pretty good shots ;)

We went to lunch when little t was at school, I HAD to keep my mind busy. The time just kinda creeped by. Luckily, I had my Trin with me to keep me laughing and for extra hugs.

We picked him up at the end of school, and his teacher walked him out. I saw him and wanted to run to him...scoop him up, kiss him ridiculously, but..running is out of the question, so...I hobbled as fast as my swollen feet would let me, and saw on his lips "mama"...I was so excited that he saw me.

The teacher said he had an amazing day. All the kids love him, and he's a real ladies man at the playground. She mentioned how he wasn't really into sitting during circle time, so, they put some music on and he danced. They read my note..."dancing makes him happy". I love that they read my note.

I feel so happy for Tristan. This is a new chapter in his book, and he is having such a fun time writing the rest. Good job buddy, you are on your way.

Tooth Fairy! *SUPER late post!*

I meant to post this long ago when it happened, but everything else was happening at the same time! So, without further delay...the tooth fairy visited!!

Trinity had this snaggle tooth that had been hanging out for some time. She was really not a fan of having it pulled or pulling it herself but she really wanted that thing out. We tried all kinds of things to help it out. Ice, numbing stuff, wiggling, but NOTHING would get that little thing to come out. Finally, the big girl tooth started to come in behind it and I told her that if we didn't pull it, we would have to go to the dentist to have it pulled...not that going to the dentist was a bad thing, but, it just meant that we would further delay her Tooth Fairy visit. So, she said I could pull it out. I was stunned. She normally does not like anyone messing with her mouth. With a "1, 2, YANK, 3!" it was out. Just.Like.That. She was a trooper, no tears, no fussing, and she smiled at me with a mouth full of blood. I was really hoping that she didn't look at herself in the mirror, because that would scare any 7 year old. Luckily, she just raced out to show Daddy.

The Tooth Fairy left her a tiny note a 2 silver dollars in her tooth box covered with "fairy dust". She was so excited and proud of herself. Good job Trinity, you are well on your way to a mouthfull of bumpy teeth!

Has it really been a month already??

I am constantly surprised at how time so quickly slips away from us. It's been a month since my sweet Adeline was welcomed into this world. A MONTH. I really loved being pregnant, and though there are parts that I will always miss...nothing could take away from the gift we were given in Adeline. I remember waiting the last few weeks for her to decide to be born, those days...they seemed like forever, and here we are now, and I am trying to figure out a way to slow it all down. My birth was such a welcomed and surrealy wonderful experience, I just can't believe that it all happened over 30 days ago.

Adeline is growing more and more everyday. She has so many rolls, and is just a squishy wonderful thing. She has this amazing personality all of her own, loves to be held, and smiles constantly. I enjoy our late night nursing sessions, baby massages, and just staring at her. I can't stop staring at her. Last night, she was up for what seemed like an insane amount of time, but I actually enjoyed it! She just wanted to look at me. She was smiling and cooing and making me fall hopelessly in love with her even more.

She is, by all accounts, the most patient baby we have had yet. She is a champion sleeper, and as you can see by her pictures, a pretty proficient nurser too. She smiles so big that often times, I think she could blow doors off the house. She is just about to laugh...anyday now, and when she does, watch out. We are getting into our own groove, if we could just go a week without someone getting ill. Seriously, from the time we brought her home, to today as I type someone in this house is sick. Luckily though, it's not been her.

Well thats all for now, I will update more later...when I have two hands to type!!!!

Booby milk ROCKS!

Adeline has gained 3lbs 4oz since birth! I so love seeing her beautiful rolls, her chubby cheeks, puffy hands and wrinkly wrists, knowing that I had something to do with that. We just love our chunky little one, and it's so much fun seeing her grow.

The birth of Adeline Ellery

I can't believe that it happened. Not that I thought I would be pregnant forever...but, after you hit 40 weeks, you are pretty much used to being pregnant, I felt like it was just another extension of me, and that I would just be that way because I was so used to it. I am happy that I am patient. That I trusted you Adeline, and my body to do what it was supposed to do. The whole thing really happened so fast...and I want to be sure to jot it all down so I don't forget a single monumental moment.

I had my midwife appointment scheduled for 1150. This was THE appointment, the one that I have been subconciously worrying about. The one where the midwives were going to talk to me about induction.

As I lay there on the exam table, and wait for my check, I wonder what this will all be like. What will happen to our "plan" if I have to do something that I don't want to. I wonder if I say NO, will they say that I went against medical advice? I know that induction is not something that I planned on, but...all of a sudden, I feel ok with whatever has to happen. As long as our baby is happy and healthy, it will be what it is supposed to be. Just then, my water breaks. Just.like.that.

My midwife looks up at me and says "your water broke." I am advised just to go home, I was only about 2-3 centimeters dialated. Luckily, Shannon took me to this appointment. So, we drive home and I call my doula Kelley. At home, I am relaxed, excited, and so overwhelmed with anticipation. It's FINALLY here. Our birth day. I jump in the tub and start to relax, the contractions seem to be getting stronger, and I welcome them. My wonderful husband makes me a nice plate of food, of which I devour. I have to stay strong for this delivery, I can feel that it will be here soon.

By 430PM, my contractions are every 2 mins or so, and Kelley and I leave for the hospital. Shannon stays behind with the kiddos to get the rest of everything ready and will meet us there. On the car ride, Kelley and I talk about what is happening, the day we have all been waiting for is FINALLY here. I am feeling a bit surreal about the entire thing, then the big contractions start. This is definitely not a dream. I am still able to hold minor conversation, to engage in witty banter, and to smile...so, we know it's not time yet :)

We get to the hospital around 545 or so, the midwives are excited to see me, the nurses are amazed that I walked and didn't want a wheelchair...oy. We get set up in the room, and start to talk a bit about what my birth plan will be. My midwives were amazing. Their names are Lisa and Lynette and they were exactly what I needed to deliver our baby. Lisa was strong, and kind, gentle and commanding. Lynette was like a good old friend, you could feel supported and comfortable around her. They advocated for our birth, and made sure that everything we wanted was going to happen. The lights in the room were dim, it was warm in there, and the bath water was running. I took off my clothes and started on the first part of our birth journey. The water feels AMAZING....I am relaxing in between contractions and really submitting to the stronger ones that greet me. Kelley is breathing deeply with me, coaching me along the way, reminding me to keep my mouth open, loose...and make those sounds that need to be made. She is such a strong and amazing woman, and having her eyes to focus on really helped me do what needed to be done. I am so thankful that she was there with me.

We continue in the bath off and on for about an hour...it's 630 now, and the contractions are getting really strong. Shannon gets to the hospital with my Trinity and Tristan in tow. The kids find a spot in the back of the room, Lisa turns the lights down and they are playing together. Everything is as it should be. Then, transition hits. The contractions start to get really strong, Shannon and I are together in the bathroom, he is running water down my back...he takes a picture that will forever embody my birth experience.

We get out the tub and dance together, I feel the baby moving down into my pelvic cavity, the pressure is getting really intense. I begin to vomit. I HATE vomitting. I HATE vomitting and having strong contractions. I peek over and Tristan is starting to throw up, he is dry heaving and I realize that this is too much for him. The nursing staff at our hospital were amazing. They set up a room just for us that he could escape to. A safe room. My mother took him there, and he was safe. I was happy. Time to focus on the task at hand. Trinity is the bathroom with us, she helps pour water on me, puts a wet washcloth on my forehead and tells me that I am doing a good job. She is amazing and supportive. My midwife tells her that she will make a good midwife or doula someday, I think she's right.

Shannon helped me up and over to the birth ball, I bounced for a bit...moving with my body and allowing the contractions to come. It was a bit too much sitting there, so, we danced. Dancing and rocking we stood together in the labor room, he kissed my head, and I held really tight to him. It felt wonderful to have him supporting me, in so many ways. I started to get dizzy again...she is coming. I hopped into bed, actually, more like clumsily stumbled, but...at any rate, I got my butt back in bed. It felt nice to have the midwife and my wonderful doula there, they helped to keep me focused, to remind me that I could do this. There was a moment when I closed my eyes and said I couldn't do it...Kelley told me to look at her, and in that moment she gave me four of the most inspiring words, "You ARE doing this...." The contractions were really mounting one on top of the other...she is coming. I felt the urge to push. ALREADY??? I thought for sure I was just making something up in my head. My midwife kept prompting me to trust my body, to push if I felt it. Adeline was working so hard to come.

I started to close my eyes and could feel my body arching backwards...BAD IDEA. Both Kelley and Lisa reminded me to curl into her, to feel the contractions and feel Adeline, to trust my body and work together with it, not against it. I did just that. I sat up and started to push, I could feel the excitement of my family, of my midwife, of Kelley...I knew that it was close. On the second push, Lisa told Shannon that he could deliver our baby, he was so happy and excited. I heard him say he didn't want to hurt her, and Lisa just guided his hands to where they needed to be. Last push....she was almost here, Shannon pulled her halfway out and I grabbed her under her arms. Pulling her warm body close to mine was such and amazing feeling, that feeling that you forget all too soon, so I made sure to be present in that moment...to remember it and soak it all in. It felt so great to have her in my arms. I did it. WE did it. Trinity was in complete amazement. She was so happy. I layed there with my new daughter and waited for the cord to stop pulsating. Afterwards, Shannon cut the cord and Adeline was free...she was born and was beautiful.
Holding our new baby feels amazing. It feels real. It feels right. I felt absolutely complete and in love. Having a baby is such an empowering and positive experience and my birth was exactly what it should have been. I was so thankful for everyone that helped to make it that way. That moment after she is born, I am looking down at her.....looking around the room at my family, and am so happy to have the people I love sharing this moment with me.
I watch in wonder as my daughter gives her baby sister her first bath, she is sweet, calm and trusting of her big sister. Trinity is so completely in control. She talks to Adeline, she touches her body and is not fearful of anything that happened. She is proud. I am happy for her.

My mom brings Tristan into the room and he gets to see his new sister for the first time, it's wonderful...everything is as it should be, and she just fits.

I will forever be thankful to everyone who supported me during Adeline's birthday and wanted to be sure to make it known here.
Kelley, my doula and best friend. You are so amazing. You helped me to stay focused, to feel loved and protected, to feel strong and able and comfortable. You took care of me and my family, loved my children and protected our wants and needs for this birth. Thank you so much for helping me do what I sometimes thought would be impossible. You made my birth perfect.

Lisa, my amazing midwife. Thank you for advocating for our natural birth. You and Kelley both worked together to help me achieve exactly what I needed to. You kept my birthplan in the forefront of your mind, and you respected all of our wishes. You made my birth perfect.

Shannon, my wonderful husband and strong advocate. Thank you a million times over for giving me the best possible gift that anyone could, our baby girl. It will never cease to amaze me how you are able to provide me with exactly what I need, regardless of what we can afford, but the love that you give all of us, is worth it's weight in gold. You are amazing. You made my birth perfect.

Trinity, my beautiful Trinity. Thank you so much for being you. I am always in awe of your ability to understand things that are far past your age. You are so amazing, so precious and you are a wonderful light in this sometimes dark world. You made my birth perfect.

Tristan, oh sweet bubbub. Thank you for being patient. You must have been worried about me towards the end there, and yet, you trusted what was happening and did what you needed to do to be calm. I love you so much and am so happy that you were there with me on your sister's birthday. You are incredible. You made my birth perfect.

Mom, thank you for being available to us whenever we need you. You are such an amazing mother and grandparent and I am so thankful for you. You made my birth perfect.

And finally, Adeline. My dear sweet Adeline. Thank you so much for choosing our family. We love your spirit, your calm and collected demeanor. The way that you smile and laugh in your sleep. You worked so hard the night of your birth, and I am so proud of you. Thank you so much for being you. You made OUR birth PERFECT.

Adeline Ellery Hydeman

8lbs 10oz 20inches long

Born 12/06/2010 at 9:41PM

Pep Talk

Tonight, I lay in bed...a horrible case of insomnia once again plagues me, I am trying to think about what it is that is keeping me awake at night. Despite the obvious reasons, still pregnant..I am otherwise worry free. I have decided to take this time and really have a pep talk with baby girl. I wonder, when will you be born? What will it be like? Will I need to be induced? I want you to stay in there until you are ready, but....I want you to be a healthy little baby, I want you to thrive and have the best first chance you can. I have to be smart, to be proactive, and to be respectful to what you want too. I know that our birth will be exactly what it should be....but I am still overwhelmed with the idea of needles, medicine and too much intervention. We want a natural, and medical free-birth, I hope that can be acheived, even if I am induced. I am sure these worries are the underlying culprit of this damn lack of sleep...4 days now, and I have had MAYBE 6 hours tops.

The house is so quiet...I hear the dogs breathing, Tristan is flipping around in his bed, but not waking. Shannon is snoring quietly, and the cricketts are chirping outside. The neighbors annoying dog finally went to sleep around 2 AM, I was seriously about to poison him. I am laying here, in a froglike position staring at my "getting bigger everyday" belly. I wonder what contribution you will make to our silent symphony? Will you sleep well? Will your cries wake us up at night? I wonder about your temperment, will you be more like your sister or your brother??? Or perhaps, just you? It's time for that talk.

When are coming out to meet us? We had our appointment on Friday, and you are definitely ready. The Ultrasound pictures showed you with beautifully plump cheeks, full lips, and you even opened your eyes a few times. Everyone thinks you will be 8 lbs, I beg to differ...you feel so huge in there! I want you to know that we are ready for you. You are so anticipated, and are strong and able to make this journey with us.

I love to feel you in my tummy, but I so much want to hold you in my arms. I love you little baby, can't wait to meet you.

Officially taking the plunge

I have gone back and forth with the idea of becoming Vegetarian. I have NEVER liked the idea of eating an animal, it disgusts me really. But, my body has craved meat and I have provided it. But, now, I am ready to finally take the plunge and devote myself to being vegetarian. It's so much healthier to eat a meat free diet, especially this day in age where our meats come from unreliable sources, riddled with hormones, pesticides, vaccinations and God only knows what else. I can grow vegetables in my own yard, I can't grow a cow and eat it...let alone kill it. The hardest part in this all is going to be Tristan's diet. I am not forcing the rest of the family to become veggies too...they can decide to do that on their own if they wish...but, I will not be cooking red meat, and Shannon is ok with that. So, here we are, day 4 of my "journey into vegetarianism" wish me luck.

Due Date, Schmoo Date

So, my due date has come and gone. I am 40w+1, and honestly, I kinda had a feeling. Though I had been having pretty strong contractions, there was this unnerving feeling I had that baby would wait until the last minute, or most inoportune time to make her entrance. This just goes to show me how little control we actually have in all of this.

I am not new to being a "postdate", Tristan was born just before his 43rd week in utero. Really, it's not all that uncommon. The due dates are set based on a 28 day cycle. So, if you are anything like me, and are super duper irregular...well then, here we are.

Just to clarify for those who have asked me, and yes...they have already started asking me despite being only ONE day past my due date. Here are some answers to commonly asked questions.

"Are you going to induce?"
Um....not yet, the baby SHOULD come when she is ready, and I would like to give her that time....

"WOW, aren't you worried about the baby getting too big?"
I guess, but then again, Tristan was 10 lbs, so...I should be alright.

"Are you going to schedule a C-Section??"
This one especially kills me....NO.

"Is it because you are using a Midwife??? My doctor would never let me go THAT long."
Well, your doctor would probably also schedule your induction early so he could make it to his golf tournament too. And, no...it's not because I am using a midwife.

"Aren't you soooooo uncomfortable?"
No different than yesterday, when I was at my due date.

"Have you had that baby yet??"
LOOK at my stomach....what the hell do you think? Einstein.

So, hopefully this will clear up a few cloudy questions for you all...and for those who just wanted to check in, I appreciate it...but PLEASE stop asking if I had the baby yet, trust me...YOU WILL KNOW!!!!!

Getting closer to recovery

For those that follow our blog, I am sure you remember our post about Tristan starting on his biomedical intervention journey. We have since paid thousands of dollars, and have seen some improvement...but, those have since tapered off. The DAN! Dr. that we saw before didn't provide us with the appropriate protocol that Tristan so desperately needs to continue improving, so we have been seeing a different NP (Naturopath) in our neighborhood. I am SO excited to report, that we are about to start 2 WONDERFUL interventions that we are hopeful will help Tristan in his day to day activities.

The first of these is Methyl B12 injections. He desperately needs the methly donor that methly-B12 provides to help his body detoxify toxins and chemicals. So, one way to go about providing it is by a shot. Now, most of you may think this is pretty extreme...but, it's really not as invasive as it may sound. The needle is as small as that of an insulin needle, and it's injected sub q into his bum when he is asleep. We have a numbing cream that is applied first, and then the injection to follow. Why are we doing this you ask? Tristan's, along with most children on the spectrum, biochemical processes that utilize B12 is deficient. Their guts are often not healthy, and therefore will not respond to oral forms of the vitamin. B12 is best utilized and absorbed when injected....and so here we are.

We are waiting for our shippment to come in, and will happily report any changes we see soon. Keep us in your thoughts!

38 weeks....and a baby shower! *pictures to come!*

I am 38 weeks pregnant...can you believe it? It's almost time, we are going to meet this little bundle that has been crotch checking me the last 3 weeks. I am so excited, sentimental and happy for this time that I have had to feel her roaming around inside of me. I can't wait to hold her though.

This Saturday I was gifted with a beautiful baby shower. Shannon, my mom and my very good friend Kelley planned wonderful activities, ones that were really centered on the magic of this amazing gift. It was outside at a nearby park in our neighborhood, we had blankets and pillows thrown around the ground to be closer to earth and to enjoy the beauty around us. The food was YUM, and the company was fantastic.


My favorite time was when all the kids painted my tummy. A really beautiful experience and I cherished each moment. Kelley took pictures of Shannon and I together afterwards, and we were very happy she did...I don't know the last time someone took our picture that wasn't Trinity LOL.


I am getting very excited about the idea of my impending birth. I am so blessed to have found an amazing and caring friend in Kelley. She has been here with us during this journey, and has continued to become a very best friend to our family. If anyone is looking for Doula Services PLEASE check out her website. She is a gifted individual, and you will not be dissapointed in her ability to be 100% supportive during your birth.

Don't sweat the small stuff

Today Trinity was playing at the park with Tristan and his therapist, and she decided to play in the mud. The therapist calls me and says "is it ok if she plays in the mud?!" Me, totally unfazed, "yeah...that's fine." The therapist replies, "Ok, just checking...I asked Trinity if you were going to get upset and she said that her mom doesn't worry about the little things, only the big things." NICE...I love that she knows that about me, and it's true, life is too short to sweat all the trivial things. Think about how that mud playing will impact her later, will it cause her any undue harm? Most likely not. Will she be scarred? I don't think so. Will she have enjoyed herself immensly and just felt free to be a child? Yup, and that is what this journey is all about. So, go play in that mud Trin, and do it right...I love you T, and thanks for knowing me so well.

37 Weeks!

ALREADY? Seriously?? How did this happen? I can't believe that baby girl is just a few short weeks away from joining our family. I am so happy and excited, so thankful for this pregnancy, and yet...so tired at the same time. It's this bittersweet feeling, of joy and appreciation, coupled with exhaustion and fatigue.

Last week at my midwife appointment, I mentioned to the M/W's how I have just not been feeling myself. The contractions are still pretty strong, not all the way consistent, but heavy enough that I have to stop walking or talking. I have lost 5 lbs since the last appointment, not had a super duper appetite, and just been a little BLAH.

After the blood draws, urinalysis, NST's (they were being VERY proactive...which I appreciate). Baby girl looked great...mama on the other hand, not so great. My bloodwork came back with extremely elevated WBC's and very low Hemoglobin. Diagnosis, I am fighting off some sort of infection, and I am anemic.

But, I am super happy to report that at today's appointment showed me gaining back 2 of those 5lbs lost. The baby is roughly 7lbs in size, but is posterior right now. I talked with my doula, and she suggested crawling on my hands and knees to flip her...or other things *wink wink*. She said that the only reason this is not a desirable position for baby is because it can cause back labor...mama does NOT want back labor, so, hands and knees it is!

The M/W's checked my cervix and there has been a change!! I am currently dialated to a 2, and about 60% effaced, super exciting news, my body is on it's way. I am excited at the thought of finally meeting our new little girl, and can't wait to finally share her with all of you. Stay tuned for more and more updates.

Bully, bully...and not the song

Trinity has a bully. This is something that has been going on since Kindergarten, and I thought it was all figured out. Let me give you some background info. In Kinder, the little girl was having terrible outbursts in class, was not listening, and having just an overall bad time. Trin's then teacher suggested that we sit Trinity next to the little demon...er, I mean child, to possibly have a positive impact on her. It helped, for a bit anyway. Then, my Trinity started to come home and tell me bout how the girl, let's call her Polly, would say mean things to her. She said that she would push her when they were in line for lunch, that she would yell at her and say she didn't like her. I found out that she didn't have the happiest of homelife's, and talked with Trinity about it. Trin's response was that we would treat her with kindness.

Trinity continued to handle it on her own, always conversing with us about it later that evening. It stopped for a while, but in the last few weeks, stories have been coming home again about how Polly has been unkind to my Trinity. She has started taking Trinity's friends, and rallying them against her. Not all the kids are going for it, because they too have been treated unfairly by Polly, but, the ones that do, boy...does it crush my little girl.

Trinity always tries to include everyone. All the new kids are instantly befriended by my gal. Trin has gone as far as seeking out Polly to be extra friendly to her, JUST because she is mean. I know it may not make sense, but we have always pressed that people act a certain way because of what they are given, and we have to love them regardless of their behaviors. So, it was no surprise then when I was walking her home yesterday, and she shared yet another story of Polly's harassment, that when I suggested "just not being her friend" Trinity responded with "But mama, that wouldn't be kind....I can't do that." Boy, did I have a lesson in acceptance that day.

Today, I saw it happen before my very eyes. Trinity was talking to Polly, and then, she dropped her shoulders and head, had a very defeated look on her face, and turned to go to class....I stopped her and asked what happened. A very sad response, she says "Mama, she just yelled at me, called me stupid and said she didn't like me." That's it. Mama Bear is on the prowl. I gestured for demon girl, I mean Polly, to come over to me. She stood in front of me and I very sternly had a talking with her:

Me- "Did you yell at her?"
Polly- "YES"
Me- "You will stop doing that immediately."
Polly-*Scared shitless look on her face*
Me- "Look at her" *pointing to Trinity* "do you see how sad she is?"
Polly-*nodding*
Me-"You are going to stop yelling and being mean to her or I am going to speak with your Mother and Father, do you understand me??" (that DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME thing works wonders)
Polly- *again, totally freaked out by this point* "Yes."

I hugged Trinity and told her that if Polly ever does anything mean to her, that she needs to tell someone right away. I hugged her and sent her on her way to class. That wasn't enough. I decided to take the next step and called her principal. Apparently Trinity isn't the only child that is being bullied by Polly, not surprised.

The Principal came to Trinity's class today, pulled her out and had a mediation between the two girls. I was so proud at how Trinity handled it. The little girl apologized for being mean, and Mrs. Evan's suggested that they be friends. Trin's response to Polly "I can't be your friend if you are going to be mean to me...." so, Polly responds "I won't be mean to you anymore." Let's hope not little one, because I have a lot more Mama Bear in me that is ready to come out.