What's your definition of romance?

I should start off my adding a mini disclaimer. This email will contain somewhat intimate details of my life, if you are in anyway uncomfortable with reading about that...I would not suggest continuing.

It's funny how our thoughts and preconcieved notions of romance change over the years. There was a time that I thought romance involved the purchase of some "symbol" of love, be it flowers, a small trinket of affection, a date to a new place....I used to believe that romance involved sweeping me off of my feet.

Recently, romance showed it's face in a completely amazing way. I never imagined that a bath could be so romantic...and I am sure you already have ideas of what it entailed, but, prepare to be surprised.

Shannon and I were laying on the bed aside our 2 extremely exhausted children. It seemed so quiet...I was thinking about our very long day....the doctor says "I can't tell you that it is in fact not cancer..." What the hell does that mean? Basically, I have a mass. It started out as a pea sized lump, and over the past 2 years or so, it has grown substantially. It's hard...really hard. The mammogram and ultrasound showed positive for some sort of mass, and they need to do additional testing. The MRI that he wants to do will be impossible until I am no longer lactating. Soooo, we are doing a few other tests first, then, I will need to take meds to dry up my milk.

Back to the romance, because this other stuff is all but that. We lay there quietly and I tell Shannon that I want to take a bath. He draws me a bath, and we get in. I felt so safe and comfortable, and the thing is, there was no expectation of sex. I know that sounds weird, because, don't get me wrong, I love being intimate with my husband, but today, it was just different. We lay there naked, and he is pouring water on my chest, taking his hands and gently rubbing my face and forehead with warm water. It just keeps saying that he loves me....it's all going to be ok, no matter what IT is, it will be ok. It was so relaxing and for a moment, the horrible days of not knowing at the doctor's office just dissapeared. I think it was just as therapeutic for him as it was for me. This was the most romantic day I have had. It didn't have to involve the purchase of a present, and expensive meal, or some other material sign of affection. It only involved 2 people, very much in love taking care of each other.

On the road again....

We are living between two houses, it is going to take some time to get adjusted to, so hopefully, we will be completely out of the old house in a week or so. The purpose of this post is to let you all know that we have not dissapeared. We are here...just on the road again! So, if you need to get a hold of us, please call on our cell phones, we are not anywhere near our land line. Hopefully I can update soon!

My "not my first choice" Earth Day Post

I have this fun little Earth Day post that I prepared yesterday, and have pictures to accompany it, but alas, since having our computer crash just a few short weeks ago, it seems I am unable to upload photos! So, for now, HAPPY EARTH DAY, be sure to pick up any trash you see out there...and, reduce your waste! Also, GDiapers is offering $3 off of their starter packs online! Check here if you are interested.

Don't forget about the sad people mama...

Today Trinity and I were doing some free drawings. She and I both traced one anothers feet and hands and were doodling inside of them. I drew a bunch of stick figures in one of my drawings and they were all smiling. She says

T - "Mama, why are all your people smiling?"
Me - "Because they are happy people."
T - "What about the sad people mama?"
Me - "I don't want sad people in my drawings baby"
T - "Why?"
Me - "Because it's a happy drawing, I want happy people in there."
T - "But mom, you can't forget about the sad people. They need to be remembered too...so, we can find a way to make them happy...you know?"
Me - "Youre right baby...I will draw a sad person right here *drawing one little sad person surrounded by happy people* and they are all making him happy...is that better?"
T- "Yep."

She is incredibly insightful, very deep and often, it makes it hard for her to relate to her peers. Some times, I worry about her, but then...I remember how loving, caring and open she is and accepting. She is so amazing, and I just love her.

Because it's REALLY IMPORTANT to say I love you....

Today a friend of mine lost her father. He passed away out of the blue. So, I just wanted to ask you all to call your loved ones, call your family, call someone that you haven't talked to in a while, because, it's that easy to lose someone. It's so easy to take people for granted, especially in this hustle and bustle hurried up world that we live in. We all to often pay closer attention to the frivilous disposable things that really don't mean anything at all. We tend to push aside relationships over silly things, or do the whole "I'll talk with him about it later...." LATER, that may never come. Do everything you wish to do NOW. Say everything you want to say TODAY and don't ever regret anything. Live your life the way you know you are supposed to, the way that you really really want to...just remember it is REALLY important to say I love you.

Wanna hear and see something b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.?

Look here *thanks to Melissa from All Buttoned Up.....luckily, we have the same taste in music!

Einstein, I love you even more now.

I learned today by pure circumstantial accident/coincidence that Einstein may have been on the autism spectrum....hmmmm. He had an insatiable desire to overexamine things, didn't speak until 4, and even then, most of what he said was nonsense. He was obsessed with multiples, numbers, repetition and solitude. He loved music and was a deep thinker...sound like anyone little guy you and I know and love so well? If you wanted to watch an excellent short documentary on it, you can here. Just another reason for me to identify with and adore Mr. Einstein.

Another little interesting tidbit, they are now saying that autism can also be determined by the finger length and digit ratio in the second and fourth fingers. If there is a low ratio between the two fingers lengths, you will most likely find those children are on the spectrum, Einstein's hands exhibited this trend. VERY INTERESTING INDEED!

How to Make a Non-Toxic Cleaning Kit

Step by step instructions can be found here.

We LOVE using nothing but natural in our home, and it really isn't that much more work to do it. I feel good knowing that if for SOME reason, Tristan or the doggies got into this kit, they would be ok. If you like your cleaners to have that "lemony" smell, try adding a few drops of lemon oil or whatever scent you enjoy. Cleaning is already such a chore, why not enjoy it right?? You can buy food grade oils at Sprouts or your local health food stores. Lemongrass and Verbena is SUPER yummy as is Orange. I have used Lavendar too, and it's nice to just put a few drops with water as a linen refresher.

So, what is this fascination with being perfect anyway?? I know, I know...pretty heavy opening for one of my blogs. But, hear me out. Maybe it's the glass of wine I had, or the fact that we just turned our TV back on after 4 months of nothing...all there is out there on TV is images of how we need to be a certain way. From the infomercials to reality tv, the commercials blaring during the down time between Dora to Blues Clues, to even the news (which for the record, I REFUSE to watch.) I don't get it. I thought that with all that has and is changing in our world that people might actually stop caring so much about everything that is materialistic and disposable and start thinking on a grander scale.

I think I have lost a bit of faith in humanity. There. I wrote it...I feel saddened by the way that wrinkles, grey hair and a few extra pounds are an indicator of used or damaged goods. You see, in my life, I see these things as a sign of a life well lived. My wrinkles, they adorn the outsides of my eyes and lips and are from the many, many times I am found laughing. The grey hairs are undoubtedly from my children, God bless them, they are little poops at times, but, I love the grey hairs that they have given me...I have them because I am a Mom. It would be awesome to have a rock hard body like many of the celebrities out there..but, not at the sacrifice of my health, time with my family, my body image or the way my daughter views beauty. We are role models. Every little person out there looks up to us to make this world feel right, good and safe. I don't get it...when did falseity and coverup become more important than the truth???

Maybe it's late and I am overtired, or maybe I have just really gotten tired of the way we all are. It's a bit sickening to see that everything out there is aimed towards mass consumerism. That this is what we have been reduced to. Work - Shop - Work - Shop....lather, rinse, repeat. I don't know. I desperately pine for simpler things. For a time when a credit score doesn't own me. A time where you buy what you have money for. We have been purging. Getting rid of things that are not absolutely needed. It's feels...liberating.

I can't wait to be COMPLETELY debt free and self sufficient. That time will come soon enough. I just need time to be with my family, to see my husband more. I mean, who has it better?? The millionaire in their big huge mansion that works all the time, has a nanny for thier children whom they rarely see, has affairs and spends more time with thier agent?? Or, the average person, possibly struggling to make ends meet, but so relieved at the end of the day to just be with their loved ones. Solice in the things that make him whole? I just don't get how that is not the #1 priority for most people anymore..... Money changes everything, and not always for the better.

The Art of Breastfeeding, some tips!

I nursed Trinity through my pregnancy with Tristan, and tandem nursed her until she weaned at 3 1/2 years, Tristan is still nursing. I get asked a lot about my supply, "How can you still have milk??? After all these years?" It really is amazing actually, to think that I have been lactating for almost 6 years non stop. WOW, I have been nursing for 6 years!!!

There were a few bumps in the road for us when Tristan was born...because of the low tone in his oral muscles, he had problems latching on...and because he was so jaundiced, then poisoned with vaccines, he was too weak and sick to nurse and was diagnosed with failure to thrive. We were forced to formula feed, but, I always followed with the breast, just to make sure that he was getting the exposure. Trinity saved my milk supply, and had it not been for her nursing still, I would not have been able to nurse Tristan. There were tons of things that I tried to keep my supply up when Trinity weaned. There are easy steps that any new nursing mother, or experienced veteran can use, and here are some things to help you along your journey.

Before you try any of these tips you want to make sure that your supply is indeed low. If you are breastfeeding and your baby is gaining .5-1 oz a day, having 5+ wet diapers and at least 3 soiled diapers a day, then your milk supply is not low- your baby is getting enough. If you are exclusively pumping, as long as you are getting 24oz a day, your supply is fine. However, if your supply is truly low, these tips may help.

(1) Use heat. Wet a cloth diaper with hot/warm water and apply it to your breast right before you pump. The heat will soothe any plugged ducts that you may have and get the milk flowing more freely.

(2) Use massage. Gently massage your breast from the outer part towards your nipple. This will move the milk in your ducts down to the nipple allowing for better expression.

(3) Stay hydrated and well nourished. Drink 8-12 glasses of water/clear liquids a day (any more may be counterproductive) and eat 6 small well-balanced meals a day. If your body does not have enough fluid or nutrients, your milk production will not increase. REMEMBER, YOUR BODDY NEEDS APROXIMATELY 500 EXTRA CALORIES A DAY TO PRODUCE MILK.
*OATMEAL is known to increase milk supply. Eat at least 2 servings a day of Old Fashioned Oatmeal.
*HEMP SEED/NUTS are also a known galactalogue and eating 2-4 TBS of shelled hemp seed a day will increase your milk naturally.

(4) Get Enough Sleep. It's hard, but you need to be well rested. If you are not rested, your body will not have enough energy to produce milk. Take naps when needed and when possible.

(5) Nurse/pump frequently. You need to nurse or pump at least 8 times a day for at least 15-20 minutes on each side in order to tell your body that it needs to produce. I always drink a tall glass of water right before I would pump/nurse, priming the pipes if you will. Also, if you think about your baby when your nursing, the hormone in your brain that produces milk will take the message and your let down with happen faster...I know, amazing!

(6) Try herbal solutions. Fenugreek, Mother's Milk Tea, Alfalfa and Blessed Thistle are all approved for use during breastfeeding. You can find them at GNC or health food stores. A great recipe that my midwife gave me was 3 Fenugreek Tabs and 3 Brewers Yeast Tabs 3x/Day. Boy...that works! Your urine and sweat will smell a bit like maple syrup, but, hey...it WORKS!

(7) Try Zantac. My OB/GYN told me that Zantac is great for helping to build a milk supply. I tried this and it worked. I have really heartburn too, so I killed two birds with one stone.

(8) If all else fails, you can ask your doctor for Reglan. This is a prescription drug that can be used to increase milk supply. Be careful because depression is a side effect of this medicine.

I hope this helps any of you with questions regarding nursing and supply, good luck to everyone embarking on this journey, you are giving your child, and yourself, the most precious gift in the world!!!

Because it's just so sweet

Tristan and Trinity sleeping together....I want to capture this moment forever and put it in "that" file that I go back to in years to come. We have an open door policy in our room, the kids are welcome whenever they feel the need to sleep with us...yes, I am sure many of you have opinions about this, but, please, keep them to yourself...it's our decision, and, it works for us. Besides, who doesn't like to snuggle with a warm little smushable kiddo?

Go Natural!

Some easy and natural recipes for health and beauty. I have personally used all of these, so, I would only post them if they were "Jenn Approved" hahaha...enjoy!

WONDERFUL Homeade Hot Oil Treatment

½ cup olive oil
5 drops frankincense essential oil (others may be substituted, if you wish)
1 plastic bag that can fit over your hair (or a shower cap if you want to get technical!)

1. Pour olive oil into a jar with a lid, then add essential oil. Put lid on jar and shake well to disperse the essential oil. Let sit for 24 hours in a cool, dark place. Shake again before use.
2. Rinse hair with warm water. Warm 1 tablespoon of oil treatment in the palms of your hands. Using your fingertips (not nails), gently massage the oil into the scalp in a circular motion. Repeat until the entire scalp has been massaged. Rub the ends of your hair with the remaining oil.
3. Place a plastic bag over your hair, secure by tying or with a hair clip or clothespin, and allow the oil to remain for at least a half-hour.
4. Rinse well, then shampoo as usual.

Toothpaste

1. Mix one-half cup of bicarbonate of soda (Bobs Red Mill is ALUMINUM FREE...very important!!)with one-sixth cup of salt.
2. Add six teaspoons of glycerine and enough water to make a thick paste. Add several drops of peppermint extract or a different flavor to improve the taste (you can go with peppermint and orange...I love that mixture!).
3. Store in an airtight container (Disposable cake frosting bags and a tip work awesome)

Natural Exfoliator

1. Mix together two cups of Epsom Salt (be sure it is Healthcare grade...otherwise, there could be traces of heavy metals which is no good.) to 1 cup of petroleum jelly (if you would rather, you can use olive oil or a mineral oil too....)
2. Add a few drops of lavender essential oil (or any scent you like).
3. Apply the mixture to gently scrub away old cells and encourage a healthier-looking complexion.

Honey Orange Lip Balm

**If you like your lip balm to have a thinner, glossier consistency, use more olive oil. If you like a thicker, creamier feel, use less.

Heat 2 tbsp. Chopped beeswax in a double boiler until melted. Remove from heat. Slowly pour olive oil into beeswax and stir to mix.
Add 1 tbsp. honey and 5 drops Orange essential oil. Stir continuously to mix until cool.
Pour into a clean container with a lid (you can purchase these at any store).

This next one is awesome...it really really works!

Instant Hair Shine and Scalp Cleanser

You can give your hair a great shine and help remove soap build up by following this easy step after your shower.
Blondes - Add a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice to your rinse water.
Brunettes and Redheads - Add a couple of tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to your rinse water.
***Vinegar also helps with dandruff since it gets rid of buildup...so, if you have dandruff, just apply vinegar to your scalp (you can dilute it with a bit of water) and leave on for an hour or so, wash hair as usual. After a few days, your dandruff is gone.****

Hair Conditioner(for those that get buildup easily and don't like using a lot of conditioner...this is soothing and it feels nice when hair is dry).

1. Stir 1 teaspoon of honey into 4 cups (1 quart) warm water.
2. After shampooing, pour the mixture through you hair.
3. Do not rinse out. Dry as normal.

Orange Yogurt Mask

1. Mix 1 tsp plain yogurt (I chose Greek Style) to the juice of 1/4 of an orange.
2. Dip fingers into mixture and smooth onto face. The sensation is both cool and relaxing.
3. Leave on for a five minutes and then rinse.
*** Yogurt will cleanse and nourish your skin and the orange is full of Vitamin C and AHA's***

If you have any that you would like to add, email me and we can add them to the list! It's always so fun and rewarding (not to mention great for you and your family and inexpensive) to make your own beauty products. Try it, you will like it (oh geeze, too much Yo Gabba Gabba again....)

Did I ever share with you...

...the quilt I made for Trinity a while back? It was done in fabrics that she picked from my sewing closet, beautiful sustainable and soft bamboo velour and lined with a bamboo fleece. I LOVE it...It is the perfect size for the car and is so nice to snuggle. I am working on a QUEEN size quilt out of her old baby clothes now, but SHHH, it's for her Hope Chest so don't spill the beans!

Another "While little t naps" Post

We had a fun time today. It was a HECTIC day in the beginning...Tristan had a wheat exposure and he was running around the house frantically, stimming on anything he could, pulling pictures off of shelves, throwing toys down the stairs, getting on tables...Trinity was doing so good, she was patient and kind, and understanding. So, when he finally decided to nap (3 1/2 hours after he was supposed to and for 2 hours long) We made this.

First, you pick out your fabrics (Trinity did this ALL on her own) We used peices of her clothing that no longer fits, vintage upholstery fabric and my favorite vintage cotton fabric.) Then we peiced it all together

Make a face

Arms and legs

Sew it up with an apron...viola!! Your very own stuffy. She is lovingly calling her Mama Doll.

Getting Excited....

I am starting to get excited about the impending move...we love our house...but, it's just a house, wood, paper and sticks..it's the love that we share inside that makes it a home. We are moving closer in town for schooling and therapy and the new house is substantially smaller than this goliath....and yet, I am SOOO ok with that. We thought this was what we wanted, before we knew what we needed. We didn't know that Tristan was going to have Autism, we didn't know that we would need to drive into town 35 miles one way for therapy 3 times a week...not to mention long drives to specialists clear across town...we didn't know that the school here was going to suck, plain out stink. We didn't know that we wouldn't have a grocery close to us...that if we needed last minute milk, we would have to pack a bag to go and get it. We didn't know that we would have to always pack a bag just in case we were in town too long....and lists, you know I love lists...but, we ALWAYS have to have a list going, because God forbid we go to town and not get something that we needed...

So, our new adventure is on the horizon. In July we should be moved, and I am excited. I am already planning our purge, we have soo much we are going to give away...I feel so happy about it. We will be going from a 4200 sq ft house into a 2600 sq ft. house, so, I may need your help sorting through it all!

I want to paint the walls with this. I can't wait to display my vintage apron collection in the kitchen...to rearrange all of our things in a new fashion. To go through the pictures and pick new ones to hang. To start over. A fresh new start. So, pray for us in the coming months, I will need all the help I can get to safely and sanely pack up all our stuff, all the while taking care of the kiddos and everything that entails. I will keep you all posted!!!