Very Happy

Just wanted to say....I'm very happy.

Pump it up!

Not like the dance. No, no...this is nothing that Salt n Pepa could have written, this is something FAR different. Welcome, to my pump. I had my Zofran pump installed" today. I have been upgraded from "regular mommy" to "cyborg super mommy". All kidding aside, this is a lifesaver. *if you are interested, I can upload a picture, otherwise, here is a stock photo of the unit*

For those who have been emailing and asking, let me clarify what is going on with our pregnancy right now. I am currently 15 1/2 weeks pregnant, and have been diagnosed with late onset hyperemesis gravidarum. It happens in about 1% of pregnancies, and though the cause is unknown, most health care profs think that it can be attributed to hormonal changes during pregnancy. This HG is nothing new to us though. I had a very severe case when I was pregnant with my Trinity. To sum up what it feels like, I can only explain it like this...think about morning sickness, now, add in the feeling you get when you get off the teacups, throw in the feeling you get when you have food poisoning and just for fun, add in flu symptoms...there you go, Hyperemesis Gravidarum has come a knocking on your door. It's virtually impossible to get anything done, showering, walking, riding in the car, eating, even laying down to rest are sometimes unbearable. So, after trips to the ER, admissions to the hospital, dehydration, weight loss, I.V.'s and major vomitting...our midwife concluded it was time to take the next step.

Zofran is the drug that I am currently on. Some women who suffer from HG respond very well to oral forms of this medication, but, not this mama. I have had 4mg every 4 hours, 4 mg every 2 hours, 8 mg every 6 hours, to 8 mg every 4 hours...they take the edge off, let me look like I function like a normal human being, but I still can't keep any food down, only liquids, and in VERY small amounts.

This medication is commonly administered to patients going in for surgeries to bypass any vomitting or naseau that they may experience, and is prescribed to cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. I will most likely have to be on Zofran IV the duration of this pregnancy. So, here is a little list of Q&A for anyone doing research on Zofran. Hope this helps.

Does it hurt? Yes, but like with anything, you get used to it. I can't start a site myself, Shannon has to do it....I am such a wuss when it comes to injecting myself with needles.

Are their any side effects? To me...welts at the infusion site, redness and itching and hardening at the site. At times, it can make you dizzy, but nothing compared to the way I was feeling before the medication. To baby, there are no known side effects, and having a daughter that was a Zofran pregnancy, I can tell you, there are none...maybe just increased language/chattiness LOL.

Does it work?? OMG....does it ever. Like night and day. I go from not being able to sit up or eat and drink, to functioning like a "normal" (whatever that means) person.

Is it expensive? Terribly. If you don't have insurance, be prepared to pay out the ass...and I mean it. The oral medication runs about $30/pill, and I had to take 2 every 4 hours to be semi-functioning. The pump itself is covered through insurance, but if lost or damaged, the $4995 price tag could really set you back. You have to change your site at least every 2 days, and that means new tubing, needles and biohazard/sharps bags. I haven't gotten the run down sheet from the insurance company yet regarding costs, but 7 years ago when I was pg with Trinity, the syringes of medication ran about $85/syringe, and I had to use 2 in a day everyday. YIKES.

How long will you have to be on it? I was on the IV with Trinity until my 8th month. It's likely that I will be on this medication for the duration of the pregnancy. Most women who suffer from HG early onset, will have the symptoms for the first 20 weeks.

Is it big and bulky? No, about the size of a Nintendo DS, but not as heavy. It's fairly easy to conceal, especially if you have a purse you carry...problem..I don't usually carry a purse and I have a big little boy on my hip.

So, hopefully this answered some questions for all of you, hopefully if there are other mamas suffering from HG they are able to read this and feel some sense of preparedness. Ultimately, I have to say how thankful I am. I am thankful for getting and staying pregnant, for having access to lifesaving medication, and for a supporting family and great small circle of friends. Now, lets just get through these next 5 months shall we!

Hello little graduate

Trinity graduated from Kindergarten on the 20th. She was so super proud of herself! We can't believe that next year she will be in 1st grade!

She has had a great year with the help of an amazing teacher, a wonderful school and really good friends. She is excited to see them next year, and hopes to have a few of her old classmates in her 1st grade class.

Dear Little Baby,

When we first found out about you, I was so excited, and I stayed excited for a while...until I started to get sick. We made the choice not to tell anyone about you, and I even tried not to get too attached for fear that we may just lose you like we have other babies in the past. We have had a hard road with pregnancies, and I felt like this was just going to be another one of those bumpy paths paved with misfortune and heartbreak. But here we are, 15 weeks already and you decided to stick around, I am so happy you did.

I got to see a picture of you yesterday...granted, the circumstances weren't the most desirable, but ER or not, I got to see your beautiful profile...and that little flutter, your heart. I hope you don't think that I didn't want to share you with anyone...I wasn't embarrassed, or ashamed, just fearful, but after the doctor said "You have a little fighter in there"....I knew it was o.k. to tell everyone. I hope that in sharing you with the world, everyone can think happy, positive thoughts for you, and keep you fighting in there...keep you strong in there, so you can be strong out here. Stay strong ok?

I remember when I was pregnant with your older sister Trinity...that pregnancy was much like this one. I too was on special medicine to help keep me from getting sick. But even with the I.V.'s, medicine pumps and endless bouts of sickness, I am always so greatful to be pregnant. I know that there are so many others who are not able to be, and I can't imagine what that must feel like. We start the new medicine tomorrow, and I am happy and hopeful that it will give me a chance to not be sick anymore. I want you to know that you are so wanted, so loved and so anticipated already. We want to meet you, and hope you decide to be born. I never imagined to be going through this again, but, here we are, on a new journey together. I can't wait for you to meet your family.

Reading!

For those of you who Facebook, I added a few weeks ago about how Tristan is starting to read. He has added at least 20 more words to his reading vocabulary, and he is learning more everyday. It started as just a little experiment, we were working on sight words with Trinity on the chalkboard, and here is little bub, standing next to his sister, and before she has sounded out the word, he blurts it out...plain as day, "apple". Shannon and I both stared at each other in amazement. This is the same little boy that has so much difficulty forming any words, and he is reading. We added a few more simple words, "Cat, Dog, Boy, Girl" all of which he recognized and said. Though some of the words don't come out sounding like you or I would say them, they are definitely the words. He is doing so well, and he LOVES it. His home therapist works on adding new words every time they work together, and he amazingly remembers them the next time they play. So far, the words we have introduced and he has mastered are:
Cat
Dog
Ball
Apple
Mom
Dad
Albert
Papa
Boy
Girl
Computer
Go
Car
Star
Blue
Train
Kangaroo
Ball
Stop
No
Moon
Snow
Tree
There are more, but my list isn't right here. I think it is so awesome how he is able to do this, it opens so many more avenues to 2 way communication...I can't wait to see what he does next!

Hello World, it's me, Trinity

My name is Trinity, and I am 6 years old. I like to pretend. I also like to use my shirt as a napkin. Yes, I know...I am a 6 and I use my shirt as a napkin...this drives my mom crazy. I don't deliberately try and drive her crazy, it's just, sometimes I do. She says so. Sometimes many times in a day. I know she loves me though, so, because of this, I let it slide. I want to be a vet when I grow up. Actually, I think that I will do many great and amazing things with my life when I get big. *yes, I realize that I actually don't speak this eloquently, but, my lovely mother is my ghost writer, so, you can thank her for the smooth read*

I would love to travel all around the world, particularly to California. I have family there. I love it there. It's warm, green, and I spend the whole day outside. I love to play and be silly with my cousins. I love being with my cousins. I look up to them. I hope that I can be nice, and loving like them when I get big. Right now, my favorite color is Pink. But, sometimes it changes. Yesterday, I really liked Purple, I wore a Purple shirt to school, but today, it's back to Pink.

I want a small dog. This drives my mom crazy. I know it drives her crazy, because, well...she says so. She thinks I want a small dog because I have big dogs....says something about the grass being greener...NO clue what that means. But, I want a small dog. My favorite food is anything sweet. My mom makes a really good milkshake that I could drink all day. I love milkshakes. I am going to play soccer this Spring and am REALLY excited about it. I am sure my mom will put some pretty rad action shots of me on this thing, you just wait. Well, I guess this is it for now. I have so much more to say, but, have to eat dinner. Talk to you soon.
*Trinity

Interview with a VERY special client

I love being a photographer is awesome. Everyday I get to meet new people, capture their lives on film, peek into something that maybe I would have never known and hear some pretty wonderful stories. Just before spring break, I had the chance to speak at Trinity's class for Career Week. It was so much fun. I took pictures of all the kiddos in the class, and made them into coloring pages. I sat and talked with them and they got to ask questions. It was so much fun, and to see my Trinity, how proud she was of me, it made my heart sing.

Today, I had the utmost honor to interview someone whom I have admired closely for the past 6 years or so. This person is amazing...I think that everything they do holds copious amounts of merit, and I think that anything they do will be wonderful. I hope you enjoy reading the interview as much as I did taking it.

Me: "Hi there, you ready to take some pictures?"
Them: "Yes I am!"
Me: "Well then, I suppose we should get to it huh?"
Them: "Mom, are we pretending?" *by now you have probably realized, my special person is Trinity.*
Me: "Kinda exaggerating...like, being silly."
Trin: "Oh, I like that...ok."
Me: *while shooting* "So, what do you want to be when you grow up??" *I ask ALL of my little clients this, it's a GREAT ice breaker...unless they say something like "lawyer or bounty hunter..." then, it's cricket city...*
Trin: *she thought about it just a minute or so* "A vet...and a mommy."
Me: "Those are both really great jobs...important ones too."
Trin: "Did you always want to be a photographer mama?"
Me: "I always liked pictures, but no, I didn't think about being a photographer..."
Trin: "Maybe I will change my mind too..but right now, I know I want to be a vet for sure..first a mommy, then a vet."
Me: "Can I see your foot?"
Trin: "Sure" *puts her foot forward*
Me: *sniffing her toes* "PHEW, your feet STINK!!!"
Trin: *laughing* "MAMA!"

Me: "What's your favorite color in the whole world?" *another REALLY good question, because it's one that you can branch off of....and kids love colors*
Trin: "Purple and Pink....and Red....I like all the colors, but mostly Pink."
Me: *smiling* "Awesome, how about your favorite animal?"
Trin: "MOM, you know that....I love dogs. Especially little dogs."
Me: "I think you love little dogs because you have big dogs."
Trin: "I think so too..."
Me: "so, you wanna make some funny faces?" *again...SUPER fun to do with the munchkins...by this time in the shoot, they will have opened up and be really comfy cozy with you...oh, and btw this has turned into a guide to photographing children...just so you know.*
Me:"Ok bugs, I think we are about done."
Trin: "WAIT...I have to take a picture of you!" *if I REALLY trust that the little ones are careful, I usually let them do this at the end of my shoots...and my T knows this....slick little pickle.*
Me: "Ooh, mama is not dressed for photos..."
Trin: *hand on hip* "Mama, you look pretty."
Me: *awe* "Ok, just a couple babe, then we need to be done."
And this, is what she shot....why so serious??? She told me to be.
I love you my sweet, amazing, strong willed, open minded, caring, precious Trinity...may you forever be head strong, and always curious about everything in your world. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are my favorite daughter.

Man....I missed a bunch of blogs!

I wanted to make sure that I have been keeping this thing updated, and when I went back...I realized that I didn't post about a BUNCH o' stuff. So, in a crazy whirlwind synopsis...here is your "TV GUIDE" version of the last few months of our lives, and a word you will most likely come to hate by the end of my post...enjoy.

1) My 31st Birthday...I am 31, just so you know. It happened one fine day on the 22nd of November, and here are some pictures of my party. Nothing fancy, just good times with family. Enjoy
2) Trinity's school was visited by Corey from Fox10 News, they did the weather from her school practice field...SO much fun to see the "whirlybird" up close. PICTURES COMING.

3) Went with T to her FIRST school field trip, it had to be the zoo! I love the zoo, no matter how many people try to knock the Wildlife World Zoo, I still think it's the bees knees. Enjoy.
4) Amazing Winter "Home for the Holidays" extravaganza, I had a booth there too! Real snow, Santa, Horse drawn carriage rides, smores and gingerbread making, what more could you ask for? Oh, silly faces...lots of silly faces. Here are some pictures, as always...EnJoY!
5) Decorated the Christmas tree and the outside of the house...Lylah felt the need to get in on the action, I LOVE the shot of her standing on her hind legs by T....
6) Trinity sang at her Kinder Christmas Recital...that was the cutest thing ever. Is it silly that I cried?? Oh man, niagra falls baby...niagra falls. They sang a bevvy of songs, my fav was "Polar Puppy" *imagine in unison, 80+ 5-6 year olds singing off key, all while dancing to a wonderfully simple, yet very involved puppy dance....*LOVED it. But, for the love of Pete, I can't seem to find the disk that has the pictures...No Enjoy :(

7) We sent balloons to Shy on the first birthday after her passing. It was touching to watch them float away. Trinity drew a picture and attached it to them...we miss you Shy.
8) Trinity won the "Great Stare Off", became a tattoo artist, and got some fresh ink herself. eNjOy.
9) Picture of Dakota...just cause I think he is so handsome..

10) Christmas rocked. We spent Christmas Eve at Nana and Papa's house, then Christmas Day was here with Shannon's family. Trinity wrote Santa a nice note, we left out cookies, milk and chocolate and carrots for the reindeer. At night, I jingled bells by her window, and she was so amazed and had difficulty getting to sleep....she thought for sure that they were right outside! The coolest thing, one of the neighbors had a spotlight pointing to the sky, and she looked out her window and said "Mama, Daddy, I see Santa's sleigh!!!!" Very rockin' Christmas indeed. AGAIN...WAITING ON PICTURES!

10) OOooh, we went ice skating...that was fun.
11) I was the photographer at the Verrado Christmas Brunch, Trinity sat "next to" one of what she calls "Santa's Helpers" because we all know the real Santa is much too busy to be bothered with Mall appearances and such. *do you think she is the teensiest bit squished?* e n j o y
12)Tristan decided that he didn't like one of his presents...little guy may not talk, but boy, does he know when he doesn't like something... "what the heck?"
13) We partied out on New Years by taking Trinity to get her ears pierced...she decided she was ready. It was good, she was fine until it was time to really get it done, and she started to psych herself out a bit...but, after she got them done, she was really proud, and she even convinced me to get my ears done too. We are now a part of our own private club called "Light Sapphire Sisters!" (because that is the stone we both got) *jumping up like those old Toyota commercials* PICTURES COMING...


So, right now in the Hydeman household, we are just living each day, we are loving every moment, and trying to laugh our asses off whenever humanly possible.

I never thought I'd do it

...buy jeans with holes in them. I did it, despite my very hesitation and awareness that I am paying for WEAR in my jeans. BUT, to the jeans defense, they are SO stinkin' comfortable, fit fantastic, and make my butt look F A B U L O U S :) Oh, and did I mention, they were only $5? That kinda makes the holes semi ok

p.s., you're about to get bombarded with posts....

You've been warned.

Trin and her Papa

I love this picture....I took it last year sometime...maybe even longer, gosh....it's one of my favorites for sure. I love how he is holding her dangling little body, how she is trusting him to keep her safe. I love it.

A Hiking we will go!

We decided to get out and enjoy this amazing weather we've been having and took a nice long hike last weekend.... it was so pretty out, the skies were clear, the sun was shining through the clouds, everyone was happy. Lovely, lovely day. Now, I just have to figure out where to put all these rocks the kiddos brought back with us.

Hello.

Hello Beans, it's me...Jenn. I have to be honest with you, I am a bit frustrated with how you handled our relationship last night. We were getting along so well...I thought that we played nicely enough, and yet..this morning, you hit me with a bomb...A BIG ONE. I don't like that very much, and because of how you treated me, I think we are going to have to stop seeing one another. Take care, and hopefully you will find someone else that is better suited for your taste.

I LOVE THIS! Hey, what did you get?

Isn't that always the case. The whole idea of the grass is always greener. My kiddos both got TAG reading systems from Santa, and they love them, it's just, they love each others more than their own. Which isn't entirely a bad thing, but, when Tristan is more on the wavelength of colors, letters and numbers, he is reading books about long and short vowels and I am thinking that maybe, JUST maybe, it's a little over his head.

And the stupid just keeps coming...

Today, I was standing in what seemed to be one of the longest lines that I have ever stood in at Target. It was at least 10 people deep...and to think, I was only getting a gift card! There was this woman behind me, with 2 very unhappy babies, so, naturally, I let her go ahead of me. She was purchasing underpants. This is important to know, because it leads up to the stupid that pours out of my mouth, but wait for that, it's coming. So, she checks out and swipes her card...DENIED. She asks the clerk to run it for her, DENIED. Her total was $11something (yeah...some pricey underoos indeed) but all she has is a $10. Naturally, I cover her difference. Then, this happened.

Girl is leaving, very appreciative, waves to me
GIRL: "Thanks so much, Merry Christmas"
ME: "You are so welcome, enjoy those panties."
GIRL: has this happy/surprised/uncomfortable look on her face...as does my clerk...and the rest of the 8 people standing in my line.

Seriously?? Enjoy those panties?? What the heck was I thinking? Well done, Jenn...you definitely have a way with the words.