GFCF, I love you

Since we have started the FULL on Gluten Free diet we have really seen some amazing breakthrus. Some examples, today, Tristan was standing on the coffee table, normally, he is pretty oblivious to me calling his name or saying no...but today, from the kitchen I said "Tristan" and IMMEDIATELY, his head whips in my direction!!! Then, here is the kicker "Tristan, please get down, you could get hurt." He proceeds to go on his tummy and GETS DOWN!!!! I was elated. Then, he was so smily with me after nap...spontaneous smiles, genuine happy baby smiles...it was heartwarming. I know that this diet/modification to his diet is helping, he no longer has the horrible diarrea that he was experiencing everyday, he is not stimming all day long, he is responding to his name more. He snuck a biscuit from Trinity last week, and within a few hours the shit hit the fan....so, I know that there has to be something to it. So, I have to report with steadfast assurity (yes, i just made up my own word) that we are staying on this GFCF diet cause it is working!!!!!

Her and Him

Yeah, I know, not the best use of proper English, but hey, cut me some slack, it's late and my brain is wrecked right now. Anyway, on to the title..her and him. Trinity and Tristan. I love that little girl...she really is something. I remember before she was born, I had a healer do a blessing on my belly...this was even before we knew the sex, and I remember we were told "She is going to change the world one person at a time." It is so true. She brings a smile to everyone she meets, she is light in a dark world and in my world. She is the best therapist to her little brother and I am so sure that she is the key to helping out of this place he is currently living in. Last night he fell, she cried harder than he did...I was sitting on the bed cuddling him and she was nestled in my curled up legs, hand on me and a hand on her brother. She calmed down once he stopped crying and while rubbing his face she says "His cheeks are so soft, *bending down and kissing him softly on his red spot* I love you Tristan...." My heart literally wept joy. I am so blessed to have such an amazingly supportive and loving daughter in all of this. Most children may act out in jealousy, which, I will be honest, before his diagnosis, she did a bit of that at his Play Therapy sessions...BUT, it is like now that she knows that there is a reason behind Tristan's happenings, she can also better respond to it.

Today they were playing, and she was so patient with him. There have been plenty of times in the past that I would hear in a sassy tone "TRISTAN!" because he took a toy away, or "AAAHH, TRISTAN!!!!!!" because he got in her way...but today, I watched silently as he did both of those things more than once, and with a patient tone and a loving tone, unaffected by it, she says "Here you go buddy, is this what you want??? This is a BALL, it's a BALL Tristan." Who needs speech when I have my own ABA Therapist right here LOL. Her and Him...they really work well together.

Now what?

Last night was rough, I think I cried for about 2 hours....I love my husband, I am so appreciative of his support, but, I have also realized that I need a better support system outside of just us. I don't really have a large circle of friends, not what I thought I did anyway. I am determined to find an actual group that I can be a part of that I have PHYSICAL contact with people...I enjoy emotional support, but am realizing that sometimes I feel like I just need a hug you know? I mean, hugs from 4 year olds are amazingly therapuetic, don't get me wrong...but...sometimes, bigger things call for bigger hugs, like now. Thank you to Amie, you are amazing to me...to have walked through this journey for sometime now, implemented a complete GFCF diet, STUCK to it, and help me on so many levels by listening (even if just by email LOL)...all the while raising your family too...I really appreciate you.

I have been reading a book for sometime now, Louder Than Words by Jenny McCarthy, I am sure that most of you have heard of it. Great read really, but it takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you actually receive an autism diagnosis. The book rings so true on so many aspects. I have gone back and re-read things that I once skipped over, they make sense now. What amazing woman and great writer. This book has become a new bible around here. Kinda like when you are having a REALLY rough day with your child, and you watch an episode of Nanny 911 just to help you through it?? This book helps me feel that way, I can see what she has been though, and it kinda prepares me. It helps me realize that I am not the only one that is going through this or that it is ok for him to do certain things that other kids are not doing.

So, now what?? We have a long road of therapy ahead of us, and truly, I am greatful and ready to take it all on. I know that what awaits us is uncertain...but realize with all of my being that we all love this little guy. I am certain that we are going to stick together as a family and defeat this, it's just a matter of time.

"Autism is not a dead-end diagnosis. It is the beginning of a journey into faith, hope, love and recovery." -Dr. Jerry J. Kartzinel