I LOVE fireworks

This year we took the kids to see the fireworks on the 3rd, which I am glad we did since our fireworks show was cancelled at Verrado due to high winds and rain. I LOVE fireworks, always have. I remember when we were little and they would shoot them off at close proximity, they were SO loud. When I was about 4 years old we went to the base to view the show and I remember a shard of the explosive falling in a ball of fire onto the ground and on our blanket...it burned a hole straight through! I am glad that they are safer now LOL. I hope you all had an awesome 4th...here are some pics of the beautiful show we saw! Tristan crashed out on our way there, but the rest of us had an amazing time!

Miss Trinity was in a Pie Eating Contest...SO MUCH FUN!

Stacking Cans, Climbing Tables, Toothbrushes, and Matching Shoes..

This world of Autism is an interesting one. I learn more and more every second. Everyday I try to figure out what it is that is making him tick..getting into that little head of his you know? We have closed ourselves up a bit from the world, but, I am working on opening up...baby steps. I will start by letting you in for a peek.

Tristan does some things that others may find weird, quirky, strange, whatever..they are just traits of who he is and we love him.

Stimming - He stims on tons of things, and moreso when he 1) Has snuck some wheat in his diet. 2) Overstimulated 3) Nervous are scared 4) REALLY REALLY HAPPY. And all the stims differ by situation.
HAPPY STIM - We will start with this first because lets face it, we all need a little happy in our lives. Flapping arms, bababababa sounds, back arching...excessively. Dancing back and forth. Here is a visual of the back arching.


He stims when he is watching certain television programs, or when there are really bright lights...like, if you have ever gone shopping with us and see him in a cart...you would understand what the back arching is all about. It looks SO painful and people stare at him like he is retarded...the thing with stimming is that you have to allow the child to engage in the behaviour because it is their way of communicating...they are doing it the best way they know how. As long as what he is doing is not injuring himself or others, there is no reason to stop it, no matter how stupid or weird others may preceive it.


UNHAPPY STIM - Screeching, arching, eye contact avoidance and kicking while lying on the floor...Hiding. It is heartbreaking. My son has social withdrawl. He is getting SO much better, but, it has become more and more evident to me that he is overwhelmed when around large groups of people, especially if it is noisy. We were playing at the park with his therapist one day, TnT , Jeni and Me....he was doing awesome, playing with Big T, running around, well, the best he could anyway. Then, a preschool group come galivanting over. This was when I noticed the saddest thing that my heart could handle for a while. He got a look of shear fear on his face, and rushed under the slide. He turned his back to the group and started rocking back and forth. I was so sad for him. Imagine what that feels like. A mother wants her baby to only be happy...understands that there are times when they will be sad, but really just wants them to be flooded with joy and peace. He was so scared. I scooped him up and ran home. The people at the park looked at me like I was an overprotective and overbearing mom...they just don't get it. When these kids get in this place of absolute and overwhelming fear, it is all encompassing...it takes over, there is no getting through, it just gets worse the more they are forced to endure it. And I think this is what makes me sad the most, that a group of preschool kids screaming in glee and running around him in circles would torment him the way that it did that day. We are working on this, but let me say, baby steps...tiny little baby steps. Here is a picture when he had just finished an "unhappy stim"...it's not like a tantrum or anything volitile or explosive, but, it is hard to get to him when he does it...it's literally like he is on another planet, he goes into this sort of catatonic state, glazy eyed and staring off. The second pic is eye contact avoidance...


So on to the title...Stacking cans, climbing tables, toothbrushes and matching shoes. These are a list of a few of his all time favorite things to do. He LOVES to stack things. I have posted previously about when this first started. Now, we are happy to say, that he is doing it more play appropriately and with blocks! YAY.

Climbing tables. He has NO sense of safe guards, meaning he doesn't understand that he can get hurt. He will climb up a table and hang onto the chandelier and no matter how scary my voice "Ahhh, Tristan....careful!!!!" it doesn't phase him. Hence the 4 visits to the ER in less than a year.

Toothbrushes...we need stock in Colgate because he is ALWAYS stealing ours. He loves to carry them around, keep them in his mouth...another autistic trait is the need to satisfy their oral curiosity. He mouths EVERYTHING. Again, he has gotten so much better. We can actually go outside for a little bit without worry of him sticking all the dirt, rocks, dog poop, plants, nails, ciggerate butts...whatever is on the ground, in his mouth. He still eats the occasional mud pie...but hey, he's a boy.


Matching shoes. This is actually pretty entertaining to watch. It's a little Rainman in my book, but, it's neat nonetheless. He will dump out our shoe bin and search around, finding the pairs and line them up. He does this with just about everything. Books, those plastic Gladware containers/lids, rocks that are similiar in size and color, little people animals..he likes having pairs of something, I have to respect that because I too appreciate order and pairs.


So, I let you in on a little peek, it's not so bad now is it? He is really a fun guy to be around, he has neverending amounts of hugs and kisses for me and the rest of the family, he is loving being held and snuggled, and is really making great strides. I know that one day, I will look back on this and wonder why we ever worried...but, being a parent, you do that you know? You worry about all the shit in thier lives. Firsts, falls, doctors appointments, talking, walking, friends, schools, boyfriends/girlfriends, college, marriage.....I know that I will never stop worrying, but, I am at peace with who he is and know that all of this will add up to an answer one of these days...for now, I will just have fun watching and waiting.

Their talking about your poop!

This post starts yesterday. We went to a 4th of July get together at Verrado. It was fun, we had a great time, TONS of food at a buffet, wonderful. UNTIL TODAY. My tummy did not agree with something...I visited more public restrooms today than I have in over a month. Well, on one of these said visits, I took Trinity with me, nothing abnormal...until some other people came into the room. A mother with 3 of her own brood was using the stall next to me, one of her offspring says "YUCK mommy, it stinks." that is not the part that is humilating....wait for it...Trinity says, in her LOUD voice. "They are talking about your poop mama." OMG. I was mortified. I mean, I have issues going in Public restrooms anyway, I try to get in, get out and not be noticed...but this...oy, I am scarred. LOL!

Answers to your questions...

People ask me all kinds of questions. I am very open and speak freely about most of the things in my life, but there are some questions at certain times that I either don't have the time to elaborate or just don't want to go into detail about, so, after thinking about the questions, I decided that I would try and answer some of those here. If you ever asked me a question that maybe I didn't answer, here's your chance for closure LOL..no but really, thanks for letting me get these out of my head.

Is it weird breastfeeding a toddler?

Was it weird when you nursed your baby? I don't think that word "weird" and "breastfeeding" even belong in the same sentence. Nursing a child is a natural and loving thing, no reason to hide or be ashamed of. Breasts were made BY GOD to feed children..period.

How do you stay so skinny?

I always avoid this question, because, 1) I don't think I am that skinny...2) It is hard to answer a question when you don't really have a concrete answer...BUT, for the sake of this blog..

SEX...lots of sex.

Isn't it hard to get a good nights sleep with your kids in your bed?

I think it's harder to sleep with them out of our bed LOL. I mean, if this helps any of you, I think of us like bears...yeah yeah, stop laughing, hear me out here. We hibernate together and enjoy being close. A mama bear keeps her cubs with her in the cave and shelters them from any outside harm right? I mean, imagine how a little cub feels in the night if she is forced to sleep in a seperate cave, all cold and dark...no good in our little pack. At times, Trinity thinks that she is a lone wolf and starts the night out in her lair, but, by the end of the night, she wanders into our cave and snuggles up with the other baby bear.

How do you have anytime together with your kids in the bed? *refering to sex*

We get creative. It is more exciting...I mean, you don't always have to make love in a bed you know!

Where on the spectrum is your child?

I hate this question. It is such a hard question to answer because quite frankly, I don't know. The Developmental Ped says that he is "High Functioning Autistic emphasis on non-verbal" So, whatever that means, if you find out..let me know! I do know this, he is doing well. He is still not talking very much, but his eye contact and social interaction have really taken off. He is more attentive, more affectionate...he is on his way.

Are you going to have another baby?

There are so many factors that come to play with this one. My heart of hearts would love 4-5 kiddos, but, my mind knows that it is probably not possible. Right now, in our life, we just have to be able to give as much of ourselves and our schedule to helping Trinity and Tristan thrive and grow in a nurturing and loving environment. That means plenty of one on one time with both parents, time for therapy and specialist appointments for Tristan, time for Trinity's school and functions and just being together. I know that my heart is full enough to love another child, no problem...but, we are pretty tapped out in the time department right now..check back in a few years.

WOW, your dogs all look the same...are they all related??

Well, they are the same breed which explains the "likeness"...so, kinda. Shyanne is "married" to Dakota and they had Cammie (RIP). Lylah is their "adopted" daughter.

Do you and Shannon ever fight?

Someone asked me this once and I actually had to think about it. I mean, we don't really have fights. We have argued over things, usually when we were really stressed out or having a hard time with the kids. But to be completely honest, I have only ever gone to sleep upset once since we have been a couple. It is such a waste of time to bicker or argue over petty things. You can't go back. You can apologize up and down the street, but you can't go back. So, we don't even go there.

Aren't you worried that your kids will never want to leave you? *referring to the fact that no one has ever babysat the kids*

No one has watched the kids. That is not weird. We ACTUALLY enjoy having them with us ALL the time. We don't smother them or keep them against their will. We appreciate them as people, enjoy their company, respect that they need us, and we invest the time that they need in spending as much time with them now. Like the previous answer, you can't go back. Life is short people, and kids grow up. My husband and I know that we love each other, we do lots of fun things together when the kids go to sleep *hahhaha* and we decided to have kids so we could be a family...so, families stick together, forever.

You stay home with the kids, isn't that boring??

I am WAY too busy to be bored! Are you kidding??? It is so rewarding and full..I love staying home. I think it is the hardest job you could ever have, but the most rewarding for sure. I get paid with love, happiness, giggles, tickles, dress up, makeup days, undies mondays, more kisses, free time on the sofa with Trin, school time, bikerides, water park escapades, giggly secrets, heart to heart talks, mud pies, imaginary money, trips to town, playdates...the list goes on. Occasionally the "bosses" get a little demanding and their are meltdowns, but hey, you have to take the good with the bad.

Your house is always so clean!

No, it isn't....I cleaned right before you came.

Did you see that lady that nursed her child until she was 8??
Why ask me this? Do you think this will open the flood gates of communication on the topic of breastfeeding? Is it because I nursed Trinity until she weaned at 44 months? (yes, that's 3 years, 8 months..) I don't understand why people are ALWAYS bringing this up to me? I mean, everyone is different, and the fact that you brought that up just shows that you don't get it. So, before you start...stop.

So, for now, I think that just about covers it. Time for me to go get skinny!

Violence begets violence...all you need is love

I LOVE John Lennon, anyone who knows me knows that the Beatles are a strong influence on my artistry, love for music and life and love lessons. You have to watch this YouTube, it has such a strong message of love and is amazing to think that people are people...can you imagine a "superstar" sitting down today and answering questions like this???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmR0V6s3NKk

Newest Form of Recycling...but I am not a fan

This just makes my stomach turn....food from cloned animals. YUCK. I am not for cloning, I think it is God's job and ONLY He has the right to generate true life. The FDA has supported the use of cloned animals for food. So, being true to my petitioning, protesting way...I am forwarding you the link to sign if you believe the way that I do...if not, than don't invite me over for dinner...pass the lettuce, I'll be safe with the salad!

http://greenmomfinds.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2138955%3ATopic%3A281

MOTIVATION???!!! Anyone???

HELP! I need help getting motivated to clean this house. I mean, don't get me wrong, we in NO WAY live in filth, just clutter. I feel like I need a maid, but I am like Monica on Friends, and no body is touchin' my stuff LOL. Anyway...share your cleaning habits...I need a ritual, I need motivation!

I luh doo baba

I will FOREVER embed this in my head, as it is the FIRST sentence that my son has attempted, TWICE. I was with my mom after Tristan's therapy on Friday, he had an ok session, she said that he was quieter than usual..which is what we have been noticing too. We went to Fresh and Easy to pick up a few things for Dakota's Dog Party and I was letting him run down the aisle. I love how excited he gets when you chase him, he squeals and tries to run faster, in his Frankenstienesque way, all stiff legged and bogartish...but he tries. Well, I picked him up and was running really fast with him, bopping up and down and kissing him. He was laughing, then grabbed both sides of my face and plants a messy kiss on my face. If anyone has recieved a Tristan kiss it is a unique experience for sure, open mouth, no puckering, usually soft and slow motion. Well, this one was over and over..then, he says it..."I luh doo baba"....WHAT??? Did he? I mean, was that? Wait a minute....I look at my mom and she has eyes as wide as a deer in headlights, then I bop him up and down again, he squeals and says "I luh doo baba"...translation, I LOVE YOU MAMA. My heart melts, a few tears swelter and I respond, "I love you too bubbub, so much."

Happy Birthday Dakota!!!

We love you buddy! Dakota turned 10 on the 20th of June, and we celebrated in a BIG way with a Dog Party this weekend. Overall we had 5 Weimeraners and a little pup here to play!!! Thanks to everyone that showed and brought gifts for Dakota! We hope you all had fun. Here are some pics to tickle your funny bone.

WHY the face??? Anywhere, but the face!

So, as we all know, Tristan's balance is a bit off key...*see concussion discussions earlier this year LOL*. Anyway, today we went to the other side of town to deliver a writing desk, since we were over there, we decided to take a stroll through IKEA. All was well, Tristan was having a blast as was Trinity, then, we go to the kiddie section. Again, both kids doing fine, that is, until the irresistable, inflatable, fuzzy turtle...little t couldn't resist, runs over, all bogartish, and ejects himself off the turtle and head first onto a platform that IKEA stupidly placed to display 2 tables. I mean, who in their RIGHT mind takes plywood, paints it yellow, stacks it on a platform and puts CHILDREN'S furniture on top...in the kiddie section...next to the irresistable, inflatable, fuzzy damn turtle? I am at a loss for the stupidity...truly.

It looked like he was ok...I thought he was ok, passed him off to daddy and noticed the blood dripping from his brow. Shannon and I both thought it was just a scrape until I saw the gooey gape...it had now escalated from a scrape, past a cut, and straight into the "wound" category..shit. As calmly as I can, I scoop up Tristan and Trinity, with the help of Shannon and his brother, find the closest bright yellow shirted employee that I could and let them know that we need SOMETHING now. Upon meeting us in the bathroom they try to stick a regular ole' bandaid on it...I advised that possibly a butterfly strip would be more appropriate??? He comes back with a HUGE band-aid, the ones that you use for hand wounds, and I again state that we should probably wait until the paramedics arrive...I would hate to apply that honkin' thing just to have to rip it off...it's the eye we are talking about afterall.

The paramedics were fast, but not exactly the brightest bulbs in the barn. They asked "has he been acting funny?" referring to how he was running around from one thing to the next....a Tristan trait that we can thank autism for. I informed them that he is autistic, and that he normally behaves this way. They write it down. Then, the lady tries to do her job, see if he is aware, they call it "Orienting him times 3..." but with kiddos, they ask "What color is this? What number is this? Can you show me the circle?" That kind of stuff...but, those are not questions you ask a 23 month old with autism...like I stated before....and you wrote it down...on your paper...that you are looking at right now while you ask my son what number he is standing on.

They tell us that he needs stitches and they can ambulence us to the nearest hospital...stretcher is ready. NO THANKS. He is not loosing blood. That ambulence ride would scare the SHIT out of him...that stretcher would traumatize the crap out of him...then, he would probably hit his head somewhere else and cause a concussion, knowing our luck. SO...we took him to the Urgent Care facility closer to home. They wanted to do stitches, but, I pushed the steri strips / butterfly closures instead. Can you imagine stitches on your eye area??? YUCKAS. And, the scar?? No thanks. We had to hold him down, that was horrible.

At the end of this EVERLASTING BLOG, I can say that he is doing fine now, has a nasty cut that will leave a sweet ass scar, but he is good, and I am glad that it is over. I will post pics in the morning. He seriously looks like a boxer.

Music

Isn't it amazing how that one song can transform your current state of mind?? I find it SO refreshing at the end of the day to plug into my CD's, computer, XM...what have you and just jam out to the perfect song. They are all perfect, all envoking different feelings, relating to different scenarios, drumming up different memories. I love dancing with Shannon. I remember when we were expecting Trinity, he would come home from work, put on the radio, and when THAT song came on, we would dance. I would stand on his feet...just rocking back and forth to the beat. Alison Krauss...we would dance to her all the time. Or, or, the Beatles, the slow stuff...Bob Marley. I love music. It is SOOO good for the soul. I love sharing all genres of music with my kids. It's great to know that they have heard and appreciated music from Blondie to Crosby Stills and Nash...I enjoy seeing how happy they both are when THAT song comes up for them. So, do it...share music with your kids, with yourself...open your ears, heart and mind to new music, it's so fun.