I want to stop time. Just stop it dead in its tracks. I remember when my little boo boo was 2 and she would crawl up next to me and cuddle, just to be close. I remember when she would wrap her little baby fingers around mine and squeeze them the best she knew how. I miss the time when she would gaze into my eyes, hers a lit afire with silent question...I knew the moment I met her that I would be constantly challenged and amazed. She truly does amaze me. I wish that I had a better memory. It pains me to think that there is a moment in her precious life that I may have forgotten. I well up with tears thinking that I may have said or done something in a day to upset her, to make her feel lonely, or sad. Children are so easily affected. Good and bad. I want her to only have good memories of our time together. I want her to always think of me in good light. I want for her to say, "my mother never yelled, she was always so patient, and calm with us." How do we let them grow up??? She is going to be starting Kindergarten this year, and as the weeks approach, I can't help but become emotional. The thought of someone else "raising" my child, affecting her...without my guidance, it is stiffeling.
I pray that she will continue to have her sense of self, that she will stand strong to her convictions and stand up for her beliefs respectfully.
I hope that she will enjoy her journey and love the experience.
I wish that she will make friends, and include everyone when playing.
I hope that she is included.
I fear that she may have her feelings hurt, that she may be shunned, that someone will say something mean, that she will fall and get hurt and no one will be there.
I need to know that she will eat her lunch....Lord, please let her eat her lunch.
So, I have a lot of mixed up feelings about her starting. I know that she will enjoy it so much, that she will soak up all the info, that she will have so much fun challenging herself. BUT, I still fear that she may miss us and be sad. I am scared of her feeling afraid. She has been with me since she was born, and all of us have come accustomed to her being around. I think I may go a little insane with the quietness around here. My little girl is growing up....so fast.
I pray that she will continue to have her sense of self, that she will stand strong to her convictions and stand up for her beliefs respectfully.
I hope that she will enjoy her journey and love the experience.
I wish that she will make friends, and include everyone when playing.
I hope that she is included.
I fear that she may have her feelings hurt, that she may be shunned, that someone will say something mean, that she will fall and get hurt and no one will be there.
I need to know that she will eat her lunch....Lord, please let her eat her lunch.
So, I have a lot of mixed up feelings about her starting. I know that she will enjoy it so much, that she will soak up all the info, that she will have so much fun challenging herself. BUT, I still fear that she may miss us and be sad. I am scared of her feeling afraid. She has been with me since she was born, and all of us have come accustomed to her being around. I think I may go a little insane with the quietness around here. My little girl is growing up....so fast.
1 comment:
Is Kindergarten full day now? You very well might go crazy in your quiet house all day. I've thought about that...and we still have a full year before Ryan's in school full time. I have trouble finding things to "do" when he's at VBS for 3 hours! Kaylin is so low maintenance. She'll just follow me around the house, doesn't need to be entertained, she just wants to hang out and be a mini-me. She tires of kid games with me, but will play them with Ryan over and over. She gets lonely when he's gone! And it IS painfully quiet. No wonder people go back to work after their last kids go to school - they're BORED!
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