Kindergarten, Day One

Trinity started her FIRST day of Kinder today. I can't tell you how excited she has been for this day to come. She has been asking me for the past month when school starts. Everyday I have continued to show her on the calendar and she still insists on me walking her through every day "Ok, so, today is Monday, then tomorrow is Tuesday, and then Wednesday...but not this Wednesday I am starting school...that is next, next Wednesday...right??" until she goes to school. We bought her school clothes, her GG took her to pick out her backpack, we have had ENDLESS discussions on how I loved Kindergarten and school in general and she has asked me to go into detail the events which took place back when I was 4..talk about a test to the memory, break out the B Vitamins, it's gonna be a long night! But I was happy to do it...she was afterall, excited! For the first time she showed exuberance towards the idea....She was ready.

Now, backpedal a few years. This is the little girl that would not leave my side...FOR ANYTHING. She has NEVER been away from both Shannon and I...meaning, no one either than Shannon or myself have watched her for more than an hour or so, and that was pushing it. She has been included in our live, every second, from doctors appointments, funerals, parties, weddings, labor and deliveries and all the rest. We have enjoyed her immensly...and she us. So, this morning..she is still extremely excited about her first day at school. I can't tell you how elated I was when I awoke to find a huge smile on her face and the question "Mama, is today Wednesday?? I go to Kindergarten today!!!!"

We arrive at school 15 minutes early and go to the Gymnacafetorium. There are all different aged little bisquits in there, all situated in their designated spots.

Trinity walked with the lunch lady to put her lunch bag in the basket...no worries there, she went willingly and happy. My mom met us...SO glad she came, I would discover how much I really needed her in just 5 short minutes. We did the pledge of allegiance, then I saw it, a quivering lip...a tiny tear developing in her left eye...oh shit. I didn't ignore it, but I told her that if she got nervous, just to look at her locket. We gave her a special locket the night before and it had a picture of mommy and daddy in it. WRONG ANSWER. Waterworks. Then we heard the principal quiet the children, they called the Kinders to the line...she went, but started to really cry.

My heart was aching. Daddy and I both followed her and tried our best to assure her that everything would be ok. It took about 10 minutes to calm her down, my mom was so good with her. She got down on her level, told her how I was afraid on my first day too, but then, once I gave it a chance, I LOVED it! Trinity went to the doorway of her class, it felt like she stood there forever, then she entered and took her seat. We told her that we would wait by the door for a little while, and we did. After about 5 minutes, we waved bye and blew a kiss.....walking away from her for the first time was so difficult for me...I had no idea that it would be that hard.

I was a MESS without her. It was like a peice of me was missing. It was quiet.....REALLY quiet. Tristan decided to make a exceptionally longer nap today, so, I missed her even more. My house got REALLY clean. I had to remember to eat, I became so consumed with the idea of her being there, possibly crying. Then mid day, the phone rang...caller ID showed it was her school.. My heart sank a bit. I answered a crackly "Heeeello??" It was her principal. She called me to say that she checked on Trinity and she was doing great. She let me know that she had a rough 1st half, but after recess she turned around. AH, my mind was SO much more at ease. How cool is that that the school principal called me at home to let me know that???

2:00 rolled around and we left to pick her up. We got there SUPER early. I stalked, er...I mean, walked the halls before she was released at 2:40. She was really excited to see me, she tried to walk out of her class, but I signed "Pay Attention, I will wait here" for her...she understood, gave me a thumbs up and listened to her teacher. Her teacher confirmed what the Principal told me earlier, but she also made sure to let me know that she gave Trinity extra special jobs to keep her busy, and she did awesome. Trinity told me "Mama, tomorrow, there is not going to be any crying."

Fast forward to 2 hours ago....we are lying in bed and she says to me "Mama, I thought it was going to be fun, but it wasn't...I don't like it. I don't like school." I told her that the first day is usually about getting to know everyone...she cut's in very indignant "I DON'T LIKE IT! I don't want to go to school." There was no getting through to her, she just kept yelling, and crying. We tried to calm her, asked her to go to her room and calm down, and we would be waiting in the loft to talk about it. It was just horrible. I have NEVER seen her like this. Fitting, raging, just really upset. Shannon went to her to help calm her down. She stopped the crying and was able to tell him why she didn't like it. She said "You see..I like school, I just don't like being away from you and mama for so long." AH HA. It is FULL DAY, that is 6.5 hours people, for a 4 and half year old that has never been away from her mommy and daddy....that is an eternity in her eyes. We explained all the positives. My mom and dad called and talked her down. They told her how proud they are of her, no matter what that they are proud of her. We have a trip planned for this weekend, so Shannon reminded her of that. My dad gets on the phone and drops the kicker...if she can keep with it, go to school, be a big little girl, he will get a pony for the farm for her! She was like a different child entirely. It is so cliche, the little girl that gets the pony..."I WANT A PONY!!!" Although, it didn't really go that way, but, it still sounds so funny.

She went to bed but before she fell asleep, she made sure to tell me now all the fun things that they did in school. It was information that she withheld earlier, I guess she didn't want me to know that she had fun....like it would make me sad to think that she as having fun without me. I made sure to tell her how happy it makes me that she had so much fun! She went to sleep on a good note, happy, secure and ready to start again.

Tomorrow is a new day, Kindergarten Day Two...please pray that we will get past it, that she will not cry, and that she can be open and receptive to all the wonderful things she can learn.