Food Backwards

I love unique and excellently educational children's tv programs. I want to share this one with you if you are not already aware. Doof (FOOD backwards) is a new pbs kids show that is premiering in 2009. Its a mix of intro to healthy food habits, learning (think 3,2,1 CONTACT mixed with your favorite cooking show...but add kids and fun music too!) Anything that can coherse my daughter to eat more veggies is good for me. So, check it out!

http://www.foodbackwards.com/channel-doof/

Trinity...you are growing up so fast.

I want to stop time. Just stop it dead in its tracks. I remember when my little boo boo was 2 and she would crawl up next to me and cuddle, just to be close. I remember when she would wrap her little baby fingers around mine and squeeze them the best she knew how. I miss the time when she would gaze into my eyes, hers a lit afire with silent question...I knew the moment I met her that I would be constantly challenged and amazed. She truly does amaze me. I wish that I had a better memory. It pains me to think that there is a moment in her precious life that I may have forgotten. I well up with tears thinking that I may have said or done something in a day to upset her, to make her feel lonely, or sad. Children are so easily affected. Good and bad. I want her to only have good memories of our time together. I want her to always think of me in good light. I want for her to say, "my mother never yelled, she was always so patient, and calm with us." How do we let them grow up??? She is going to be starting Kindergarten this year, and as the weeks approach, I can't help but become emotional. The thought of someone else "raising" my child, affecting her...without my guidance, it is stiffeling.

I pray that she will continue to have her sense of self, that she will stand strong to her convictions and stand up for her beliefs respectfully.
I hope that she will enjoy her journey and love the experience.
I wish that she will make friends, and include everyone when playing.
I hope that she is included.
I fear that she may have her feelings hurt, that she may be shunned, that someone will say something mean, that she will fall and get hurt and no one will be there.
I need to know that she will eat her lunch....Lord, please let her eat her lunch.

So, I have a lot of mixed up feelings about her starting. I know that she will enjoy it so much, that she will soak up all the info, that she will have so much fun challenging herself. BUT, I still fear that she may miss us and be sad. I am scared of her feeling afraid. She has been with me since she was born, and all of us have come accustomed to her being around. I think I may go a little insane with the quietness around here. My little girl is growing up....so fast.

Cow vs. Lobster

So, as I usually do when I am hungry, I was watching a cooking show. Now, normally this is not big deal right? Wrong. They had Lobster on the menu. Please tell me there is a more humane way to cook a lobster than to boil it alive. Really, please tell me that is not the only way to boil a freaking lobster? How horrible if it is. Can you imagine the uproar in the animal rights community if we butchered a cow while it was still standing? I know I am being melodramatic, but, a life is a life right? I eat meat, don't get me wrong...I am not going to throw red paint on you for wearing fur (though I will say, that is absolutely disgusting and you really should not support skinning animals for their fur)...but, this was just something that I couldn't seem to shake after this cooking show. Anyone? A different way to boil a lobster????

A simpler time?

Many are saying that our current state of economy is mirroring that of the 70's....housing markets were plumeting, we were amidst a war with no end, jobs were paying only enough to pay taxes....but I look at these pictures and think, is it really similiar? We did face some of the same "problems" but, as a United States, it seemed that we were joined on a deeper level. Abandoning material items, and coming together under a common entity..PEACE. I am a hippie at heart, and is it wrong that I wish for this?

Gave me a little giggle....

DMG Update!!!!

It works. It truly does. In the time that we have had Tristan taking DMG we have seen GREAT improvements. He is making wonderful eye contact, he is responding to his name. The stimming has all but dissapeared...the cart stimming remains, but, we are working on that. Yesterday, while in a public restroom, Trinity was talking to him like she normally does..usually she answers for him. So, basically, it is a one sided convo with Trinity asking and answering the questions in different voices, a much higher pitched voice for Tristan..it's pretty cute. Well, on this day, she didn't need to answer for him. She says, "Hi Tristan." he responds "Hi Sissy" (in Tristan speak, but we understood it). I about shit right there....it was amazing. She heard it too, and she was so excited. She hugged and kissed him and told him how good he was.

Today, was a HUGE breakthrough. I was in the potty (it seems I am in there a lot huh???) Anyway, I was in there, AGAIN, and he was in the loft. I heard him walking down the hall and in a questioning voice, "Ahhh?" "AAAAHHH?" AAAAAHHHH?" then he gets to the bathroom, looks in at me and says "Ah, baba" he was calling out to me!!!!! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER has he done anything remotely close to this. I am so giddy...I can't tell you how exciting this is. He is laughing more, smiling more, listening. This morning, we went downstairs to get breakfast, and while I was mixing the eggs, rather than digging through the cabinets, climbing the table and running off...he goes over to his high chair and proceeds to try and get in it. You guys....I feel like this is the beginning of something amazing. Pray that we are on the right track! I will keep you updated.

Dex

Trinity has this funny way of pronouncing things, I find it endearing and sweet that she screws up the simplest of words. Dex. It sounds simple enough, guess what it is? DESK. It is the cutest thing "Mama, where's duh paper? Oh, on Daddy's dex. Thanks mama..." Now, according to my mom, I had a speech impediment too, so, I guess it's only natural that I pass this on to her? Either way, I think it's cute.

That was FUN

We had a great party yesterday. Tristan turns 2 on the 15th, and we had a little get together this Saturday. HE LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba, a show on Nick Jr. so we did a Gabba party for him. Shannon drew and cut out the figures from the show, we hung streamers in the character colors and "intended" on having the cupcakes all decked out like the characters, but, in doing so, I would need to use artificial colors and candy galore, and that is a NO GO in this house, so, we had plain old chocolate gluten free cupcakes. The kids didn't seem to mind. Mostly close friends and family attended. It was a nice surprise that my good friends from High School, Linda, Stella, David and their boys could make it. It was SO nice seeing you guys. Here are a few pictures from the event, thank you so much to everyone that made it, it was so fun, and Tristan really appreciates all the wonderful gifts.

DMG

We are trying a few new supplements for little t, and I just wanted to jot down that we started today. Tristan is taking B-12 along with DMG. We have heard AMAZING things from both of these very safe and naturally occuring vitamins. Read a little about it here, and check back to see the progress!
http://www.autismwebsite.com/aRI/newsletter/dmg2.htm

For more interesting facts on the MANY health benefits of DMG, click here...you will be amazed at how much it can help in so many levels.
http://www.dmgdoctor.com/dmg.php

I LOVE fireworks

This year we took the kids to see the fireworks on the 3rd, which I am glad we did since our fireworks show was cancelled at Verrado due to high winds and rain. I LOVE fireworks, always have. I remember when we were little and they would shoot them off at close proximity, they were SO loud. When I was about 4 years old we went to the base to view the show and I remember a shard of the explosive falling in a ball of fire onto the ground and on our blanket...it burned a hole straight through! I am glad that they are safer now LOL. I hope you all had an awesome 4th...here are some pics of the beautiful show we saw! Tristan crashed out on our way there, but the rest of us had an amazing time!

Miss Trinity was in a Pie Eating Contest...SO MUCH FUN!

Stacking Cans, Climbing Tables, Toothbrushes, and Matching Shoes..

This world of Autism is an interesting one. I learn more and more every second. Everyday I try to figure out what it is that is making him tick..getting into that little head of his you know? We have closed ourselves up a bit from the world, but, I am working on opening up...baby steps. I will start by letting you in for a peek.

Tristan does some things that others may find weird, quirky, strange, whatever..they are just traits of who he is and we love him.

Stimming - He stims on tons of things, and moreso when he 1) Has snuck some wheat in his diet. 2) Overstimulated 3) Nervous are scared 4) REALLY REALLY HAPPY. And all the stims differ by situation.
HAPPY STIM - We will start with this first because lets face it, we all need a little happy in our lives. Flapping arms, bababababa sounds, back arching...excessively. Dancing back and forth. Here is a visual of the back arching.


He stims when he is watching certain television programs, or when there are really bright lights...like, if you have ever gone shopping with us and see him in a cart...you would understand what the back arching is all about. It looks SO painful and people stare at him like he is retarded...the thing with stimming is that you have to allow the child to engage in the behaviour because it is their way of communicating...they are doing it the best way they know how. As long as what he is doing is not injuring himself or others, there is no reason to stop it, no matter how stupid or weird others may preceive it.


UNHAPPY STIM - Screeching, arching, eye contact avoidance and kicking while lying on the floor...Hiding. It is heartbreaking. My son has social withdrawl. He is getting SO much better, but, it has become more and more evident to me that he is overwhelmed when around large groups of people, especially if it is noisy. We were playing at the park with his therapist one day, TnT , Jeni and Me....he was doing awesome, playing with Big T, running around, well, the best he could anyway. Then, a preschool group come galivanting over. This was when I noticed the saddest thing that my heart could handle for a while. He got a look of shear fear on his face, and rushed under the slide. He turned his back to the group and started rocking back and forth. I was so sad for him. Imagine what that feels like. A mother wants her baby to only be happy...understands that there are times when they will be sad, but really just wants them to be flooded with joy and peace. He was so scared. I scooped him up and ran home. The people at the park looked at me like I was an overprotective and overbearing mom...they just don't get it. When these kids get in this place of absolute and overwhelming fear, it is all encompassing...it takes over, there is no getting through, it just gets worse the more they are forced to endure it. And I think this is what makes me sad the most, that a group of preschool kids screaming in glee and running around him in circles would torment him the way that it did that day. We are working on this, but let me say, baby steps...tiny little baby steps. Here is a picture when he had just finished an "unhappy stim"...it's not like a tantrum or anything volitile or explosive, but, it is hard to get to him when he does it...it's literally like he is on another planet, he goes into this sort of catatonic state, glazy eyed and staring off. The second pic is eye contact avoidance...


So on to the title...Stacking cans, climbing tables, toothbrushes and matching shoes. These are a list of a few of his all time favorite things to do. He LOVES to stack things. I have posted previously about when this first started. Now, we are happy to say, that he is doing it more play appropriately and with blocks! YAY.

Climbing tables. He has NO sense of safe guards, meaning he doesn't understand that he can get hurt. He will climb up a table and hang onto the chandelier and no matter how scary my voice "Ahhh, Tristan....careful!!!!" it doesn't phase him. Hence the 4 visits to the ER in less than a year.

Toothbrushes...we need stock in Colgate because he is ALWAYS stealing ours. He loves to carry them around, keep them in his mouth...another autistic trait is the need to satisfy their oral curiosity. He mouths EVERYTHING. Again, he has gotten so much better. We can actually go outside for a little bit without worry of him sticking all the dirt, rocks, dog poop, plants, nails, ciggerate butts...whatever is on the ground, in his mouth. He still eats the occasional mud pie...but hey, he's a boy.


Matching shoes. This is actually pretty entertaining to watch. It's a little Rainman in my book, but, it's neat nonetheless. He will dump out our shoe bin and search around, finding the pairs and line them up. He does this with just about everything. Books, those plastic Gladware containers/lids, rocks that are similiar in size and color, little people animals..he likes having pairs of something, I have to respect that because I too appreciate order and pairs.


So, I let you in on a little peek, it's not so bad now is it? He is really a fun guy to be around, he has neverending amounts of hugs and kisses for me and the rest of the family, he is loving being held and snuggled, and is really making great strides. I know that one day, I will look back on this and wonder why we ever worried...but, being a parent, you do that you know? You worry about all the shit in thier lives. Firsts, falls, doctors appointments, talking, walking, friends, schools, boyfriends/girlfriends, college, marriage.....I know that I will never stop worrying, but, I am at peace with who he is and know that all of this will add up to an answer one of these days...for now, I will just have fun watching and waiting.

Their talking about your poop!

This post starts yesterday. We went to a 4th of July get together at Verrado. It was fun, we had a great time, TONS of food at a buffet, wonderful. UNTIL TODAY. My tummy did not agree with something...I visited more public restrooms today than I have in over a month. Well, on one of these said visits, I took Trinity with me, nothing abnormal...until some other people came into the room. A mother with 3 of her own brood was using the stall next to me, one of her offspring says "YUCK mommy, it stinks." that is not the part that is humilating....wait for it...Trinity says, in her LOUD voice. "They are talking about your poop mama." OMG. I was mortified. I mean, I have issues going in Public restrooms anyway, I try to get in, get out and not be noticed...but this...oy, I am scarred. LOL!

Answers to your questions...

People ask me all kinds of questions. I am very open and speak freely about most of the things in my life, but there are some questions at certain times that I either don't have the time to elaborate or just don't want to go into detail about, so, after thinking about the questions, I decided that I would try and answer some of those here. If you ever asked me a question that maybe I didn't answer, here's your chance for closure LOL..no but really, thanks for letting me get these out of my head.

Is it weird breastfeeding a toddler?

Was it weird when you nursed your baby? I don't think that word "weird" and "breastfeeding" even belong in the same sentence. Nursing a child is a natural and loving thing, no reason to hide or be ashamed of. Breasts were made BY GOD to feed children..period.

How do you stay so skinny?

I always avoid this question, because, 1) I don't think I am that skinny...2) It is hard to answer a question when you don't really have a concrete answer...BUT, for the sake of this blog..

SEX...lots of sex.

Isn't it hard to get a good nights sleep with your kids in your bed?

I think it's harder to sleep with them out of our bed LOL. I mean, if this helps any of you, I think of us like bears...yeah yeah, stop laughing, hear me out here. We hibernate together and enjoy being close. A mama bear keeps her cubs with her in the cave and shelters them from any outside harm right? I mean, imagine how a little cub feels in the night if she is forced to sleep in a seperate cave, all cold and dark...no good in our little pack. At times, Trinity thinks that she is a lone wolf and starts the night out in her lair, but, by the end of the night, she wanders into our cave and snuggles up with the other baby bear.

How do you have anytime together with your kids in the bed? *refering to sex*

We get creative. It is more exciting...I mean, you don't always have to make love in a bed you know!

Where on the spectrum is your child?

I hate this question. It is such a hard question to answer because quite frankly, I don't know. The Developmental Ped says that he is "High Functioning Autistic emphasis on non-verbal" So, whatever that means, if you find out..let me know! I do know this, he is doing well. He is still not talking very much, but his eye contact and social interaction have really taken off. He is more attentive, more affectionate...he is on his way.

Are you going to have another baby?

There are so many factors that come to play with this one. My heart of hearts would love 4-5 kiddos, but, my mind knows that it is probably not possible. Right now, in our life, we just have to be able to give as much of ourselves and our schedule to helping Trinity and Tristan thrive and grow in a nurturing and loving environment. That means plenty of one on one time with both parents, time for therapy and specialist appointments for Tristan, time for Trinity's school and functions and just being together. I know that my heart is full enough to love another child, no problem...but, we are pretty tapped out in the time department right now..check back in a few years.

WOW, your dogs all look the same...are they all related??

Well, they are the same breed which explains the "likeness"...so, kinda. Shyanne is "married" to Dakota and they had Cammie (RIP). Lylah is their "adopted" daughter.

Do you and Shannon ever fight?

Someone asked me this once and I actually had to think about it. I mean, we don't really have fights. We have argued over things, usually when we were really stressed out or having a hard time with the kids. But to be completely honest, I have only ever gone to sleep upset once since we have been a couple. It is such a waste of time to bicker or argue over petty things. You can't go back. You can apologize up and down the street, but you can't go back. So, we don't even go there.

Aren't you worried that your kids will never want to leave you? *referring to the fact that no one has ever babysat the kids*

No one has watched the kids. That is not weird. We ACTUALLY enjoy having them with us ALL the time. We don't smother them or keep them against their will. We appreciate them as people, enjoy their company, respect that they need us, and we invest the time that they need in spending as much time with them now. Like the previous answer, you can't go back. Life is short people, and kids grow up. My husband and I know that we love each other, we do lots of fun things together when the kids go to sleep *hahhaha* and we decided to have kids so we could be a family...so, families stick together, forever.

You stay home with the kids, isn't that boring??

I am WAY too busy to be bored! Are you kidding??? It is so rewarding and full..I love staying home. I think it is the hardest job you could ever have, but the most rewarding for sure. I get paid with love, happiness, giggles, tickles, dress up, makeup days, undies mondays, more kisses, free time on the sofa with Trin, school time, bikerides, water park escapades, giggly secrets, heart to heart talks, mud pies, imaginary money, trips to town, playdates...the list goes on. Occasionally the "bosses" get a little demanding and their are meltdowns, but hey, you have to take the good with the bad.

Your house is always so clean!

No, it isn't....I cleaned right before you came.

Did you see that lady that nursed her child until she was 8??
Why ask me this? Do you think this will open the flood gates of communication on the topic of breastfeeding? Is it because I nursed Trinity until she weaned at 44 months? (yes, that's 3 years, 8 months..) I don't understand why people are ALWAYS bringing this up to me? I mean, everyone is different, and the fact that you brought that up just shows that you don't get it. So, before you start...stop.

So, for now, I think that just about covers it. Time for me to go get skinny!

Violence begets violence...all you need is love

I LOVE John Lennon, anyone who knows me knows that the Beatles are a strong influence on my artistry, love for music and life and love lessons. You have to watch this YouTube, it has such a strong message of love and is amazing to think that people are people...can you imagine a "superstar" sitting down today and answering questions like this???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmR0V6s3NKk

Newest Form of Recycling...but I am not a fan

This just makes my stomach turn....food from cloned animals. YUCK. I am not for cloning, I think it is God's job and ONLY He has the right to generate true life. The FDA has supported the use of cloned animals for food. So, being true to my petitioning, protesting way...I am forwarding you the link to sign if you believe the way that I do...if not, than don't invite me over for dinner...pass the lettuce, I'll be safe with the salad!

http://greenmomfinds.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2138955%3ATopic%3A281