Gosh...where do I start???

So, I am sure that you all have been checking back in for updates day 2, 3 etc of Kinder, and I have to tell you now, that there will not be any. I wish that I could say that I have heartfelt stories to share...but, I only have a memory now of a very traumatic experience for our Trinity. I shared this story with a friend of mine, and I find it easier just to cut and paste it for you now.

"I was debating about when I would tell you this...through Myspace, an email, Blog...I just wanted to let you know how everything went. Gosh...where do I start??? You know how the first day went. Basically, running to the end of the story, we had to pull her out. She was so terrified. I can't even begin to explain the anxiety, fear, isolation...she seemed so completely different. I know that children have different ways of going through this "first" and it does take time...but this was different, and not even because she is my daughter, it was just so bizarre. The night after we brought her home she was laying with my and began to scream about being scared of school...she cried off and on for the entire night. The next morning, she was so quiet, painfully quiet. We got to school and began walking down the hall, she was saying her tummy hurt, then began to dry heave. She didn't understand what her body was doing and that scared her too. We got to the cafeteria and as we opened the door, the sound of the all the kids and teachers echoing..it stopped her dead in her tracks. She looked at me, and I saw her legs were shaking, she begged me to take her home. My dad had told her about the pony you know? Well, she looks at me and with fear and tears in her eyes says "Mama, I don't care about a Pony...I just want to go home now please." I picked her up and took her to the Principals office...but let me backtrack a bit.
Her teacher, she really should NOT be a Kinder teacher. I don't know if this is how all K classes are now, but, she was so strict with them. We had just dropped her off, and she was getting settled in when Ms. Wendt told us we had to leave. Then, she went right into rules, rules, rules. She reprimanded the children for not listening, she was very harsh. Trin told me that the just wrote their names all day...no crafts, no circle time, they didn't get to have books read to them since a few of the other kids misbehaved. WHAT???? It was just odd. So, back to the story. I asked my mom to watch Trin and Tristan so I could speak with the Principal. I told her what Trin was experiencing, and she suggested that we just take her home for the day and in the AM, bring her back to her office. On the way to my moms, Trin was just a wreck...she was so shook up. I came to the conclusion, in agreeance to my mom, dad, and Shan, that she is not yet ready. The amount of time that she is way, coupled with how far the school is from us and the fact that she had a HORRIBLE introduction to the school system...it just made it too hard to adjust. It was so overly instutionalized...I can't really explain it. We are going to take this year to build up to the 7 hours of away time that schools now require Kinders to have...that is a LONG f-ing day for a little one that has been with their mommy for so long. We may also try Montessori versus the traditional school. I may just go back to homeschooling in all honesty. Thanks for listening, if you have any suggestions, I really appreciate it! Love ya!~Jenn"

We have taken more time to talk with Trinity to find out what happened...everyday she is opening up more and telling me how her days went. They didn't go to the library at all..they didn't play games, I asked her if they laughed and she said no...they would get too loud and their teacher would yell "STOP LIGHT" and they had to be quiet or they got thier name on a stop light and if it happened 3 times, they would not get to have Friday Fun Time. It was horrible....I guess I just can't seem to understand why this teacher felt it was so important to focus on the negative behaviours in the classroom versus rewarding the positives.

I have since emailed the Principal and hope that she will be able to implement some sort of change. A friend of mine had her daughter start Kinder this week and I cried when I read their schedule, it seemed so fun...Trinity didn't get to experience that. It was so rigid and just scary. I sent this email to the Principal...I will let you know what I hear back.

"Dear Ms. H,
I am emailing you this evening after much time has settled and I am able to try and explain. As you know, Trinity had a really rough time adjusting to Kindergarten, and we do believe that a great part of that could be her age...though, as I think about it more and more, I am starting to come to the realization that their may be a greater issue to discuss. I am in NO way trying to bad mouth or cause ill will, but, I think that though Ms. W is a wonderful educator, I just don't think that she is 1) Well equipped for a large classroom of 5 year olds 2) That the approach to the first day was VERY unwelcoming and scary to even ME! 3) Too much emphasis was on rules and guidelines versus getting the kids comfortable to being in a new setting.
I remember Kindergarten, and after talking to most of Trinity's other friends' moms, they too are experiencing the wonderful Kindergarten memories with thier children and their respective schools. I am sad that we did not experience this. I think that the Cafeteria gathering is a bit overwhelming for the younger children, and it would be much more beneficial to take that time with them in the library, or the classroom getting to know one another. Trinity didn't even remember ANY of her classmates names. She expressed that all they did was practice writing their names and that she didn't remember any circle time or a time when they all laughed and had fun. That really saddens me. She was terrified to return. I recieved this picture from a friend of mine. Her daughter started Kinder this year, and this is their schedule...They also spent the first few days on the floor ALOT. I think it is SO important for the emphasis to be on learning, but in a way that young children are receptive, which is through play. I just felt it was important that you are aware of all this, and that our story is shared. I thank you for your empathy with Trinity and you willingness to help her through this difficult transition. "

Sincerely,
Jennifer Hydeman
Mom to Trinity Hydeman