Tonight, I lay in bed...a horrible case of insomnia once again plagues me, I am trying to think about what it is that is keeping me awake at night. Despite the obvious reasons, still pregnant..I am otherwise worry free. I have decided to take this time and really have a pep talk with baby girl. I wonder, when will you be born? What will it be like? Will I need to be induced? I want you to stay in there until you are ready, but....I want you to be a healthy little baby, I want you to thrive and have the best first chance you can. I have to be smart, to be proactive, and to be respectful to what you want too. I know that our birth will be exactly what it should be....but I am still overwhelmed with the idea of needles, medicine and too much intervention. We want a natural, and medical free-birth, I hope that can be acheived, even if I am induced. I am sure these worries are the underlying culprit of this damn lack of sleep...4 days now, and I have had MAYBE 6 hours tops.
The house is so quiet...I hear the dogs breathing, Tristan is flipping around in his bed, but not waking. Shannon is snoring quietly, and the cricketts are chirping outside. The neighbors annoying dog finally went to sleep around 2 AM, I was seriously about to poison him. I am laying here, in a froglike position staring at my "getting bigger everyday" belly. I wonder what contribution you will make to our silent symphony? Will you sleep well? Will your cries wake us up at night? I wonder about your temperment, will you be more like your sister or your brother??? Or perhaps, just you? It's time for that talk.
When are coming out to meet us? We had our appointment on Friday, and you are definitely ready. The Ultrasound pictures showed you with beautifully plump cheeks, full lips, and you even opened your eyes a few times. Everyone thinks you will be 8 lbs, I beg to differ...you feel so huge in there! I want you to know that we are ready for you. You are so anticipated, and are strong and able to make this journey with us.
I love to feel you in my tummy, but I so much want to hold you in my arms. I love you little baby, can't wait to meet you.