Thursday, January 31, 2008

Happy Birthday Dad

I can't believe that you are 25 again this are aging so gracefully LOL. I love you and appreciate you. My very good friend from high school celebrated...well, not celebrated, but remembered her father's death after it has been 15 years. I don't even know what I would do if you were not a part of our lives, we adore you. Tristan doesn't talk, but you got him to say "Papa" did you do that? You are so patient with Trinity too...we all know that she can be a bit of a handful in the talking, talking and talking department, but you are so understanding and you listen...thank you. I love that you always take her to see the goats and ride the tractor, these are the things she will remember when she grows into adulthood. We love you dad, happy 25th birthday!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Autism Rally...a family affair

What a night, what a turnout. Last night was the Candlelight Vigil at the Capitol in support of new legislation that will mandate that insurance companies cover children that are diagnosed with Autism or other spectrum disorders. Currently, there is NO law that protects our children when they are diagnosed with autism...that means that when they hit the age of 3, that parents of these children would have to pay out of pocket for much needed therapies should their insurance company not have a clause that covers them.

So, we arrived right at 6, and I was concerned that there would not be a very good amount of people, but by the time that we unloaded and got ready to walk over, the flood of people was really amazing. We put our blankets down right up front and sat together as a family. It was wonderful to see the united effort of mothers and fathers, legislators, caregivers, health care providers alike all together for an important cause. It was a grassroots effort for autism activism and we fit perfectly. There were children of all ages, all with varying levels of severity along the spectrum. Tristan was happy...I was afraid that he would be overwhelmed by the sounds, but he soaked them up...he danced by the speakers (within a safe enough distance so as not to hurt his little ears of course) we watched while he swayed back and forth to "One Love" by Bob fitting a song to play..."One love, one heart, lets get together and feel alright"....I felt a sense of unity that I hoped for. There was no judgement...even when he was stimming, arching his back to see the candlelights, to see the palm trees as they were lit at night..but I look to my left, and right there on the lawn was a little boy doing the same thing..his mother shared a smile with me as if to say "Yeah, us too."

The speakers were amazing. There was a mother who talked about her son (now 16) who was so fargone by the time he received his diagnosis (at 4) that they emptied their entire life savings to get him the much needed treatments that helped him so well. His insurance company would NOT cover him...he was excluded just on the basis that he was afflicted with a disorder that 1 in every 150 children are now diagnosed with every day. This epidemic is growing at such a fast rate, (In 1994, 1 in 2,500 children were affected by autism ⿿ In 1999, the stats were 1 in 500 ⿿ In 2005, the numbers have risen to 1 in 166 children) and the fact that insurance companies are not recognizing or addressing this is paralyzing. The positive note, her son was standing next to her as she talked about his accomplishments, tears came to her eyes as she discussed his road to RECOVERY and that he now is a 3rd degree blackbelt in karate, holds down 2 part-time jobs, drives, and does well in school. It was great to see and to show the world that with treatment, these children...MY CHILD, can lead normal and productive lives...but, we need the help of insurance companies to get them what they desperately need.

I feel so hopeful about this movement. There were House Speaker's there and with them they carried letters from Senators John McCain and Hillary Clinton supporting the legistation. The bill is called "Steven's Law", support this bill ( contact your legistators and tell them how important it is...that health insurance is not a priveledge, it is a RIGHT, and our children are no different from anyone else.

For more information visit


We are always greatful...period. Be greatful for what you are given, others may have none. I wanted to take a moment to be greatful for my friends and family that have been here supporting us through the numerous trips to the doctors office, the talks when Tristan was delayed, the support when we didn't know what was wrong and the support after the diagnosis. Some have been there from the beginning, some have been here to check up on us, and others have just peeked in to see how we are...either way, we are thankful and greatful to have all of you!

Thank you mom and are amazing, I love your spirit and your kindness, you really have done so much for my family, and I am proud that you are the foundation of my parenting, you are where I started. Thank you are an amazing mother, a strong soul and one of the nicest people that I know. Thank you are my BEST friend in the entire know me inside and out and stand by what we decide, you have been there for us in spirit and in voice from the beginning, I miss you terribly and only wish that the kids could grow up knowing you like I do. Thank you Amie, you are a breathing and living testament that Autism is treatable, I see Aiden and know how far you have come, you are an extremely strong person and so steadfast in your beliefs...thank you for helping us to get this far. Thank you Pam, your family has been through so much this past year and yet you find the time to email and ask how we are doing. You are an amazing mother and so very patient. Thank you Tiffany, I know that you are going through so much right now with the Anniversary, and I am so appreciative that you have helped to spread the word about Autism Awareness. Thank you Xandi, you and I have come a long way and I hope that we can continue to grow upon our relationship. Thank you Stella, you are also living the spectrum and you have been there for me to help me when I thought it was getting too hard. Thank you are so sweet and caring and checked up on us when we needed it most. Your words of incouragement have really stuck and I am so happy that we are building a friendship that will last the years. Thank you Jennifer.. though we are not able to see one another very often, you have been there to listen. Thank you Jenn, I know that it has been trying for you with the girls, so any time that you can chat with me, I am thankful. Thank you to Angela, your story is so amazing, and I feel honored that you shared it with me. Thank you to Angie, you are my extended family...Jackie and I gave you a lot of hell growing up and you did us, but I am thankful that we are able to pick up and be "sisters" whenever we get together. Thank you to all the moms in my Homeschool group for praying for us, you are a wonderful group of women and I am thankful to have found you!!! And lastly, thank you to my family, to Shannon, Trinity and are perfect...I adore all of you and am SO greatful that I have been blessed with such amazing beings to share the rest of my life with.

GFCF, I hate you now....

Yes, I know, I am fickle...but hear me out here. I understand the diet and appreciate it...I do truly believe that it works as I have seen the reward...but, Tristan decided 4 days ago that he was going to stop eating all together...I tried everything...his favorite "GFCF" friendly beans, mashed potatoes, pecan bread, rice pasta, rice cakes, fritos....all kinds of stuff....I even tried things that he olives, beans....NADA. He just wanted our Pizza. I felt so sad, so, I gave should have seen how he scarfed that down, all the while mumbling behing the pizza chewing "Yummmm, mmmm, nummm, yummm" I still love you GFCF, I just need to take a little break from you....until my little boy can love you again too.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You so funny!!! Talking and talking.......

Trinity is really a crack up. I love her, talking to her at times is like speaking to someone from a foreign country, the way she uses her words, mixes up nouns/verbs, leaves of important constanants.....I think it is cute that she has a speech impediment, I mean, I am sure it will leave soon, will be a memory of her that will eventually dissapear, but for now, I love it, I soak it up, I listen to every word, every imperfectly perfect word. Some examples

Mama, you silly!!!
Tupid is not a nice ting to say!
Dat was pecial to me.
Yeah, dat was punny...I tink we sood do dat again.
Mama, puhmember?

There is more, these are only a few sentences that come to mind...but her words are really something worth listening too...the innocence of it all is very endearing to me. I think about how Tristan may not say his first real words for some time, and it really changes the way I look at how Trinity is such a jabber jaw...I don't think I will ever shush her again, I want to hear my kids talking and talking and talking, I guess you take these things for granted. I want to hear him talk so badly it hurts inside. I think about the day that he is going to say "I love you momma" and I hope it is soon.

Monday, January 21, 2008

GFCF, I love you

Since we have started the FULL on Gluten Free diet we have really seen some amazing breakthrus. Some examples, today, Tristan was standing on the coffee table, normally, he is pretty oblivious to me calling his name or saying no...but today, from the kitchen I said "Tristan" and IMMEDIATELY, his head whips in my direction!!! Then, here is the kicker "Tristan, please get down, you could get hurt." He proceeds to go on his tummy and GETS DOWN!!!! I was elated. Then, he was so smily with me after nap...spontaneous smiles, genuine happy baby was heartwarming. I know that this diet/modification to his diet is helping, he no longer has the horrible diarrea that he was experiencing everyday, he is not stimming all day long, he is responding to his name more. He snuck a biscuit from Trinity last week, and within a few hours the shit hit the, I know that there has to be something to it. So, I have to report with steadfast assurity (yes, i just made up my own word) that we are staying on this GFCF diet cause it is working!!!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Can't Sleep....still

Gosh, I really want to be sleeping...I am tired, I am yawning..I just can't sleep. Something has got to give or else I am going to get myself sick here. Any suggestions on natural sleep methods that are conducive with breastfeeding?? I can use all the help I can get.

I think I have a problem

I think I may have become a comfort shopper...I mean, those who know me well know that I love to get the great deals, I am frugal as shit (DISCLAIMER: I have taken up cursing on this blog, just so you know....and though you will RARELY hear me curse in person, unless I am spelling it out for fear that a little 4 year old named Trinity will hear me and scold me...the past few weeks have called for some cursing, so, bear with me while I work on my fucking potty mouth). Anywho, back on track...the shopping. I feel like there has been a correlation between life happenings and the purchases I have been making. I normally am very frugal, cheap ass if you will...but, lately, I have been just throwing all of that to the wind, buying things that WERE NOT on the list!!! *AHHH, heaven forbid* and you know the worst part? It feels good *que the music to a scary movie*. I really need to get a hold of it so I don't take out a 2nd mortgage on the house to buy diapers's not that bad, yet.

It's a Love/Hate Thing...

...this hair of mine...I really love to hate it! I don't know if any other moms or ladies have experienced this, but, when you have really long hair, and you wear it in a pony tail, if you go to bed...TAKE IT OUT. I have been getting the equivalency of dreadlocks because I fail to remove the damn hair tie. I must really move my head around a lot in my sleep, because this is happening to me all too often. I am talking about MAJOR knots ladies, big ones, ones that require the most delicate of brushing (well, not really, you actually have to pull the shit out of it to get those dreads out). It sucks. Oh, and having major knotty dreadlockish hair, I have tried out many a different hair product, here is my review. Nutrisse, you suck, I hate you. Herbal Essences, that is about all you have going for you...if you didnt' smell so herbally good, well then, you would be right up there with your friend Nutrisse...Pantene, you work ok for a few weeks, then you fall flat...Expensivo brands, I hate you...I really hate you, why do you have to cost so much and work so good??? What do you have that the others don't? Why must I keep gravitating back to you every month?? It's a conspiracy, I mean, they work for a while, then BAM, more, *la te da, walking to the store* here I go to get the, oh yes, you guessed it, Mr. Expensivo Brands..I hate you hair, why do you pain me so much?

Our Songs

I make up songs to sing to the kids, each night, the same songs over and over.....This is Trinity's favorite, puts her to sleep everytime (sung to tune of "I love you Conrad" from Bye Bye Birdie)

I love you Trinity, Oh yes I do
I love you Trinity, Oh yes it's true,
When you're not happy, I'm blue,
Oh Trinity, I LOVE YOU!

I love you Trinity, Oh yes I do,
I love you Trinity, Oh yes it's true,
When you're not with me, I'm blue,
Oh Trinity, I LOVE YOU!!!

I love you Trinity, Oh yes I do,
I love you Trinity, Oh yes it's true,
When you're not smiling, I'm blue,
Oh Trinity, I LOVE YOU!!!

Tristan's favorite song BY FAR is "You are my Sunshine" I love singing it to him, I think it represents so much, I love to think that the word SUNSHINE is really SON SHINE, I feel so connected to him when I sing him this song. What songs do you sing with your children??

We are STILL a family of 4 dogs

So, after I blogged about our newest adventure Maxine, the Great Dane...we ran about and put up a slue of "Lost Dog FOUND" signs...all the while feeling like "I don't really want to put these up...I hope she isn't found." We didn't even put a picture, we wrote that we were going to ask "Verifying questions"...I even joked with Shannon how I would trick the would be finders.


ME: Hello?
FINDERS (maybe): Umm, yes, I think you have found our dog?

ME: Really? Can you tell me a little about HIM (really Maxine is a HER...TRICK #1, if you succeed, please continue to TRICK #2)

FINDERS (maybe): Oh, I'm sorry, our Dane was a girl

ME: (under my breath) Damn...*cough* um, what shade of brown is she (when really she is Merle grey and black...TRICK #2, if you succeed, I guess you can continue...fuckers....)

FINDERS (maybe): Oh, she is grey..I think we may have the wrong dog...

ME: No, no, you are right, I must have gotten confused *cough/curse-asshole...*

FINDERS (maybe): When can we come and pick her up?
ME: AH HA! She doesn't like to get in cars!!! Why would you offer to pick her up?? If you were her pets, then you would have known this!! HAHA! I win...the dog stays. *click*

Ok, so this is the dilusional part of Jenn that you are meeting, I often come out after midnight..Shannon runs and hides from the dilusional Jenn, she makes outlandish stories/schemes and subjects him to witnessing them ...poor guy, and now, because of this blog...poor you too. Back to the blog at hand....Maxine.

So, it has been a week exactly and Maxine is still here, and quite honestly, we wouldn't have it any other way. It is almost like she has been a buffer for all --scratch that---MOST of the craziness that has been going on around here. She came to us just 2 days before Tristan's diagnosis...that is pretty amazing to me, but then again, I am distracted by shiny objects! No, but really, she adores the children, as do they her...I am so taken by her, she reminds me so much of my childhood dog Max, he was a Great Dane, and boy, I loved him. Maybe she was sent to help fill that void, or maybe, just maybe we were meant to be a family of 4 dogs. So, as of yet, no one has called, and we have bathed her, given her a bed, got her a new collar and are calling her our own. Come out and visit us sometime, *note, the "come out and visit us sometime" invitation is only extended to family and friends, if you are neither of these things, this offer is null and void!*

Friday, January 18, 2008

Can't Sleep

In case any of you haven't noticed, I can't is 1:33AM and I just can't pull myself to do it. I don't know what is wrong with me, my mind is like a little humming bird, constantly fluttering and flitting...I can't slow it down and all I can think of to do is research. I have decided that I am going to find out as much as I can about Autism and do WHATEVER I can to beat it. This has to be cureable right? I mean, really?? We are currently on a modified GFCF diet, and as of tomorrow...we are making a trip to Trader Joes and Sprouts and Whole Foods if we have to, but we are stocking up on all Gluten Free and Casien Free foods for little t. No more slipping him an occasional more chunks of cheddar sir, we are doing it, 100% and all at once. I have to find a way to get him out of this. He is barely saying any words aside from JuJu and All Done, other than that, rambling, repeatative rambling. I do realize he is just 18 months, but, the stims have increased too...when I have him off of wheat, they disipate if not entirely, why not? Why not take him off 100%. The kid is allergic to stuff, and children with autism also have gut issues, don't quite understand the correlation, but, it seems to be the same across the board. Ok...I have to get some is 1:38AM now, I hear my hubby and dog snoring on the floor and I need to at least walk him to bed..bless his heart. I love Shannon, he really is my best friend.

Her and Him

Yeah, I know, not the best use of proper English, but hey, cut me some slack, it's late and my brain is wrecked right now. Anyway, on to the title..her and him. Trinity and Tristan. I love that little girl...she really is something. I remember before she was born, I had a healer do a blessing on my belly...this was even before we knew the sex, and I remember we were told "She is going to change the world one person at a time." It is so true. She brings a smile to everyone she meets, she is light in a dark world and in my world. She is the best therapist to her little brother and I am so sure that she is the key to helping out of this place he is currently living in. Last night he fell, she cried harder than he did...I was sitting on the bed cuddling him and she was nestled in my curled up legs, hand on me and a hand on her brother. She calmed down once he stopped crying and while rubbing his face she says "His cheeks are so soft, *bending down and kissing him softly on his red spot* I love you Tristan...." My heart literally wept joy. I am so blessed to have such an amazingly supportive and loving daughter in all of this. Most children may act out in jealousy, which, I will be honest, before his diagnosis, she did a bit of that at his Play Therapy sessions...BUT, it is like now that she knows that there is a reason behind Tristan's happenings, she can also better respond to it.

Today they were playing, and she was so patient with him. There have been plenty of times in the past that I would hear in a sassy tone "TRISTAN!" because he took a toy away, or "AAAHH, TRISTAN!!!!!!" because he got in her way...but today, I watched silently as he did both of those things more than once, and with a patient tone and a loving tone, unaffected by it, she says "Here you go buddy, is this what you want??? This is a BALL, it's a BALL Tristan." Who needs speech when I have my own ABA Therapist right here LOL. Her and Him...they really work well together.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Now what?

Last night was rough, I think I cried for about 2 hours....I love my husband, I am so appreciative of his support, but, I have also realized that I need a better support system outside of just us. I don't really have a large circle of friends, not what I thought I did anyway. I am determined to find an actual group that I can be a part of that I have PHYSICAL contact with people...I enjoy emotional support, but am realizing that sometimes I feel like I just need a hug you know? I mean, hugs from 4 year olds are amazingly therapuetic, don't get me wrong...but...sometimes, bigger things call for bigger hugs, like now. Thank you to Amie, you are amazing to have walked through this journey for sometime now, implemented a complete GFCF diet, STUCK to it, and help me on so many levels by listening (even if just by email LOL)...all the while raising your family too...I really appreciate you.

I have been reading a book for sometime now, Louder Than Words by Jenny McCarthy, I am sure that most of you have heard of it. Great read really, but it takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you actually receive an autism diagnosis. The book rings so true on so many aspects. I have gone back and re-read things that I once skipped over, they make sense now. What amazing woman and great writer. This book has become a new bible around here. Kinda like when you are having a REALLY rough day with your child, and you watch an episode of Nanny 911 just to help you through it?? This book helps me feel that way, I can see what she has been though, and it kinda prepares me. It helps me realize that I am not the only one that is going through this or that it is ok for him to do certain things that other kids are not doing.

So, now what?? We have a long road of therapy ahead of us, and truly, I am greatful and ready to take it all on. I know that what awaits us is uncertain...but realize with all of my being that we all love this little guy. I am certain that we are going to stick together as a family and defeat this, it's just a matter of time.

"Autism is not a dead-end diagnosis. It is the beginning of a journey into faith, hope, love and recovery." -Dr. Jerry J. Kartzinel

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

It's Official

Tristan had his appointment with the Developmental Specialist Pediatrician yesterday evening...this man was amazing with both him and Trinity. There was a 6-9 month wait for him and most other specialists, but upon me calling them last Friday and explaining our concern over the MRI and wanting a last minute 2nd opinion, they squeezed us in after hours. We filled out a bevvy of information, and he called us in. He played games with Tristan, observed him in play, did some non verbal tests, verbal / language tests, physical exam...and then, the diagnosis. High Functioning Autism. I have to say, eventhough I was pretty sure there was "something" it still a surprise to us. I feel a mixture of feelings, obviously I would wish that he did not have this disorder, but, he does, so wishing really doesn't help him much does it? On the other hand, knowing is better than not, so now we can really get the help he needs without wondering what or why he does certain things or doesn't. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, we are going to focus on breaking the barrier. I am hopefull that we will get through and Tristan will have a great chance at living a "normal" life, whatever that may be! The doctor went on to explain that he scored very high on his non verbal IQ, that he is extremely intelligent, social, emotional and has appropriate eye contact. He thinks that it is mainly a language barrier of sorts (with some SID - sensory integration), and if we oversaturate him with language, speech and music therapy that the outlook is amazing. He was so happy that we came to see him and that we received a diagnosis so early (the earliest that he has ever given...that he ever knows of to date). The doctor also urged us to cancel the MRI. He said that they only prescribe this if there is a concern for mental retardation or cerebral palsy which he is certain that he has neither. He went on to explain that the risks outweigh the benefits, general anesthia is a tricky thing and that different kids respond differently. He has heard of children on the spectrum that have had the procedure with sedation that have actually regressed....We are going to schedule an EEG instead since Absence Seizures are a concern and those can DEFINITELY be measured on an EEG, which is a non invasive procedure!!!

My wish for Tristan is that he is treated equally. It pains me to think that someone will ever be mean to him, he is so sweet, so gentle, and because of this, so vunerable to the meanies. I am so tired of peoples obsession with perfection and their sick way of pointing out people's inadequecies and only hope that if this happens with Tristan, that I am there to put them in their place. When did the world become so heartless? I know that we have a long road ahead of us, but luckily, we have a really big bag of snacks, ton of tricks up our sleeves, and enough love to fill a small country to get us through it.

Newsletter for little t - Month 18

Tristan, you never cease to amaze me. You have grown so much!!! At your last appointment, you measured 39 inches tall and 36lbs!!! You are so big. I adore you and all that you represent. This month was filled with answers for you, and us. You were diagnosed with Autism on your 18th month.....I wonder if you understand what that means. Sometimes I look into your eyes, and I see that you see me, genuinely see me, it makes my heart skip. Your love and adoration for Trinity, me, daddy and your nana and papa also melts my heart. You are just a loving little boy. Recently you learned to say "AHHHH DONE!!!!" while wildly waving your hands. You do this when you don't want to be in your seat, all done with dinner, etc. It is a major breakthrough on your communication!!! You love your music, and I LOVE watching you dance. I can't believe that in 6 more newsletters you will be I love you Tristan, thanks for being a part of our family.

Love Momma.

Newsletter for Big T - Month 51

WOW....what a month. You have grown so much in just 30 days. You haven't had your appointment with the Dr. yet, but we measure you and you were 47 inches tall, you feel like 50lbs but I sure you are probably more like 38 or so...You barely fit your 4T clothes anymore, can you believe it, you are wearing 6x slims on jeans and 4-5T in tops. Emotionally, that is another big WOWZA, you have had a bit of trouble with decisions at the beginning of the month, but I am happy to report that you are doing SO much better. Daddy and I have tried to help you out the best we can, because we know how hard it is to make the right and perfect choice. Your responsibility board has been a God send, we pull it out in the morning, and it seems to really keep you on track throughout your day. You have been so helpful around the house, cleaning your room, doing your dishes, picking up your toys and putting away your dirty clothes. I love watching you play with your brother. He adores you, you know...the way that he smiles at you is unmatched to how he responds to anyone else. I think you are going to help him the most with his speech. Speaking of which, I have to say, I LOVE the way you say certain is so cute to hear your voice, all raspy and devoid of certain letters. Here is a little dictionary of words that you use (that I can think of off the top of me head anyway).

ES-GUIDED - excited
COOT - scoot
PUH-MEM-BER - remember
TARS - stars
KY - sky
TUPER - super
PESH-UL-E - especially
DICKS - disk
BAFF - bath
TRASS - trash

Alright Buggy, that is it for now, thanks for loving your brother so much!

Love Momma

Monday, January 14, 2008

Count down to Friday

Tristan has his MRI on Friday. I am getting a bit anxious. Shannon and Trinity are going to drop us off, being RSV season she is not permitted to enter the hospital...boy, she is going to take that hard...we have decided to wait to tell her that she can't come until mid, I am sure I will be posting the events of that day later. She is so protective of Tristan. She told me that she wants to be there with him so he won't be scared. She has already picked out his stuffed animal, and packed his extra blanket for him. Its a mixed feeling....I mean, I understand the procedure and realize that he does need it for us to gain more insight as to why so many unexplainable things are happening with his development...or delay of development I should say. BUT, there is still a fraction of me that thinks...hey, he is fine. It is better to know that not know, this is what I have concluded. He meets with the Developmetal Specialist Pediatrician on Tuesday for a last minute second, I may even repost "MRI CANCELLED!!!!" but, don't hold your breath. For now, keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we do for all of you.

Our EventFULL Weekend-Part 1

So here is part 1 of our amazing and eventFULL weekend. What a weekend indeed. It started with family time at the car show. What a great time. Trinity and Tristan loved seeing all the cars, concept and reality, ok, me and Shannon had a good time too. We meandered through the aisles of red carpets and peeked in cars that were valued at amounts 3-4 times over the average car...really, why would you spend so much on a hunk of metal? I mean, I understand an appreciation for the finer things in life, but when there is a car with a sticker price of $20K and it has over $40K in upgrades??? That just seems silly to me, and this is coming from a car girl!! Anyway, back on track. The highlight of the day was meeting and taking pictures with Bumblebee from the movie Transformers. Shannon was probably more excited than the kids LOL. We also got to see Lightening McQueen "Kapow"! It was a really great time.

Our EventFULL Weekend-Part 2

So, on Sunday we spent the day playing with the kiddos, Shannon and I were pretending to go on business trips and the kids were our "suitcases". By grabbing a hold of their footed jamas right at the belly, you can lift your child to notable heights LOL. Throwing our suitcases on the beds seemed to be a favorite. Then we decided to start our day of running errands, nothing all that glamorous, but hey, it was Sunday. Well, the fun started on our way home. We took a different route today because we decided to peek in on some of the new builds in our neighborhood. On the way home, we spot a large and stately Great Dane wandering aimlessly up and down the streets of unbuilt homes. We follow her for sometime and notice, she is definitely lost. What a sweet and amazing creature. She reminds me a lot of our old dog Max, and apparently, she reminded Trinity too (who never actually had the chance to meet Max before he passed away in 2002). I had Shannon go home and get a collar and leash while I followed her around on foot, trying to see if maybe her "pets" where in the neighboring subdivision....nothing. She clung to me like a child in a busy store. We took her home. We made flyers last night, but a part of me hopes that no one claims her. Is that selfish of me? I love her already....She is sweet, timid, shy, happy, loving...she adores the kids and our animals, and she just fits....yeah, 4 big dogs...we are always up for a challange I suppose!!!! Oh, and Trinity has decided to name her...Maxine, after my old dog MAX.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Indecisions, indecision, indecisions....

Trinity has reached a plateau in her decision making ability and it has been very....what's the right word...gosh, I can't really think of the right and perfect word to describe the feeling that I feel when I see her so overwhelmed with making the right decision. Helpless, that pretty much sums it up...I feel her helplessness. She has always been an awesome decision maker, able to adapt to change, roll with the punches, take what is thrown at her and be definite and steadfast in her choices. Now out of nowhere, she is going through some developmental stage that she is unsure and second guessing her choices. I feel so bad for her when she is handed 2 colors to choose and she says "When will it not be so hard momma?? When will it get easier?" Now, do I tell her "Honey, life only gets harder....." or, to ease her through it say "babe, it will get easier, the choices might be more complex, but, you will learn to choose" I went with "Come here, give me a hug. It's ok, you are having a tough time, let me help you pick right now." I will report that this weekend has been a lot better since we eliminated the overabundance of choices and summed it up to just 2. "Do you want ____ or ____. When she chooses, we tell her what a great decision maker she is. I guess she is just getting a headstart on becoming a woman, because Lord knows, we can't decide on anything.