Christmas Post is Coming

I just wanted everyone to know to know that I am working on uploading the Christmas pictures! Stay tuned!!!!

She said "LITERALLY"

Why is Trinity so smart? I don't think I am that smart...I mean, I am bright and all, but she is really, really smart. We were watching something on Animal Planet...I was amazed by what I saw and started the conversation with this:

Me: "Oh my gosh!"
T: "You can say that again."
Me: *feeling a little gradeschool* "Oh my gosh!"
T: "Mama, I didn't mean it literally...it was just a joke."
Me: *feeling very small* "Geesh...humor me alright??!"
T: *with a eye roll and a sweet smile* "MAAAAMMMAA...*pats me on the shoulder* it' ok."

It's all about perspective

Today is a good day. I feel a renewed sense of strength to continue on this path to recovery for Tristan. You know when you have those "A HA" moments? I had one today. And it led me to this post. It's all about perspective.

There have been days that I truly feel robbed of a "normal" son, days that I feel "Why us??? Why do we have this???" but then I remember, we were given this for a reason, and we are not given more than we can handle. This diagnosis has taught me that. I also know that Tristan is still my little boy, despite his autism. He is the same little boy that I gave birth to...the same little boy that loves us all unconditionally. I adore him, and want only the best for him and us.....and that means continuing to fight for him and fight for his recovery.

We have a rap sheet list full of tests that we have to get done for him in the coming weeks / months. He has to have a Thyroid Test (which are actually a series of 3 blood tests), CBC, Celiac Panel, RAST Test and another that I can't think of without looking at the order...I feel sad for little t. There are days that I feel like he is the one that is being robbed...his childhood thus far has consisted of doctors visits, specialists visits, weekly therapies and all different people coming in and out of his life..to test him, to evaluate him, to find out what he is and is not capable of. What about just being a kid??? What about Saturday morning cartoons?

I feel guilty. There are days that I feel guilty for taking him to therapy and all these doctors visits. It's exhausting, for all of us. BUT, then I jump back out of my pity party hole and realize the lengths that he has come since having said therapies. I realize that he is growing and learning, and he is happy. PERIOD. Despite all of this crap that he has to deal with day in and day out, the kid is one of the happiest that I have met.

He loves therapy...LOVES it. He enjoys meeting all these "different" people coming in and out of his life...he gets to meet other kiddos that are similiar to him. So, basically it is all about perspective. I have to change my perspective. I think I have had a sunny outlook on this most of the time, and I am proud to say that I have never felt embarassed or ashamed of him. I am so proud to be his mama, despite the outward differences that some may see. I look how he looks at me, and our eyes connect and in that moment I know that he understands me...I talk to him like I do Trinity, and though no words are spoken, his eyes speak volumes. I hope that others will get to know him. I hope that people can be patient and wait for his words, because, they are coming...I can feel it.

Paranoid much?

Why do I sometimes feel like someone is following me down my hallway? Or is it just the cat? Paranoid much? Seriously though.....eek.

Don't do it....

Never try and do anything when you have to go pee....don't do it. I have just taped my fingers to themselves 5 times in an attempt to hurry and wrap that "last" present before going to bed...I did my pee pee dance while crouched on the floor of our destroyed gym, rocking side to side, trying not to think of the ever growing pink elephant in the room, that is my urge to pee my pants. Why must I do this? Yes, you read correctly, I do THIS...I wait until the very last moment and rush to the potty for fear that I may wet my pants. I suppose I should stop nagging Trinity for waiting until the last minute when she yells from her carseat on the freeway and the road to nowhere AKA, road to our house "I NEED TO GO PEE MOM... NNNNNOOOOOWWWW!" Trinity, I get it, truly, I do.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

We went up North this past weekend...burr...talk about cold. Yes, I know, I am a wuss...I KNOW THIS. There are plenty of my friends who have moved to much colder places and are doing just fine...but me, I have thin ass blood and because of this, I chill easily LOL. It was 28 degrees, but, once we got moving around, it really didn't feel too bad. The kiddies had a great time sledding and building. Little t mostly enjoyed eating the snow, a nice change from the normal dirt that he so loves to ingest.

We brought all of our furry babies, Shyanne couldn't really manage with her bad hips, so, she hung out in the truck...Lylah and Dakota on the other hand were warriors! T and Daddy spent most of the time on the hills, but I was perfectly happy just watching my family. It was a nice getaway, even if just for a few hours.

Somehow, snow just makes it FEEL more like Christmas, am I right?? Regardless, it is upon us...just 3 more days until the big hurrah! Are you ready? Have you talked about the TRUE meaning with your family? Try not to get lost in the commercial overtaking of this beautiful, blessed and sacred holiday and remember what is real, the birth of Christ! Enjoy your families, and be safe. If I don't post again until afterwards, a very Merry Christmas to you!

Where's your button?

...there it is!!!!!

If Trinity were a boy....

...she would be Andrew. Their birthdays are just 2 days apart. We have known him since they were 15 months old or so....and they have very similiar temperments...head strong, intelligent, witty, loving, smart...smart....smart. They have another similarity, they both played on the same soccer league! Imagine T's surprise when she saw another "5" walking up to her and it was her pal Andrew. We don't get to see him and his family as much since we moved, so it was a nice surprise indeed. So, if T were a boy....she would be him.

Glitter, glue, paint and dough

I remember when I was in preschool and we had a Christmas ornament craft, make a star, tree or snowman with salt dough and glitterize it. My mom still has the ornament. Today we made some fun salt dough ornaments, and here is how you can do it too!

SALT DOUGH

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
enough water to make a VERY stiff dough

*if you want it scented, add 3/4 cup of cinnamon

Roll the dough out to 1/2 thickness, using all fun types of cookie cutters. These make WONDERFUL gifts to the grandparents, you can make crosses, stars, sheep, trees, snowmen...the sky is the limit!

Cook the dough in 200degree oven for 1 hour, allow to cool then paint! If you didn't want to do the painting part or where making a large batch of "same" ornaments, you can color your dough with food coloring, and add glitter ahead of time. TOTALLY up to you. We prefer to decorate them all different though.

Once they cool, paint them up, glitter them up, and finish off with a spray of clear coat or lacquer so it will last year after year! HAVE FUN!

*ours are cooling..pictures to follow!!!

Amazing book...have to share

You all know I love books. We read ALL the time to the kids and alone, at least I do...if it isn't a book on tape or a comic book, Shan is not about it LOL. I have to share an awesome kids book with all of you and especially those that have a child with a disability, delay, or autism. It is called Waiting for Benjamin : A story about autism. WOWZA. It's deep, I mean...it really hits a note. Trinity knows that her brother is special, different, in a class of his own...however you want to name it, she knows. This book really helps to identify with the "typical" sibling and all of their mixed up feelings on this roller coaster ride that we have a LIFELONG unlimited ride pass to!*holy run on sentence...but you get the point* Here is the premise of the book from the sleeve.

Alexander's little brother, Benjamin, doesn't do things the way Alexander thinks he should. He would rather stare at the wall than play with Alexander. And instead of talking, he just wiggles his fingers and rocks. Alexander knows it's wrong, but he can't help but feel embarrassed when one of his friends calls Benjamin a "wacko."

When Benjamin's family learns that he has autism, they hire special teachers to teach him how to listen and talk and play. Alexander is glad-he just wants Benjamin to grow up faster. While Benjamin works with his teachers, Alexander works through his feelings of disappointment and jealousy. As time passes and each boy grows, Alexander discovers that Benjamin isn't just his brother-he is also his friend.

It is TOTALLY worth a buy, even if your child is typical...It talks so much about differences, feelings of dissapointment, jealousy, and eventually acceptance and love. Check it out, just thought I would share.

What??? There's a FLOOR under there??

Yeah, it has been that messy around here. I *heart* Christmas, BUT...and this is a silly interjection, BUT...the mess that is created has sent me into a whirlwind of tissue paper, glittery balls....*hmm???* sorry, glittery ORNAMENTS, wrapping paper, and pine needles. How in the heck did I manage to pack all of THAT into THERE and when half of it is being used, how is it that I am somehow unable to get THIS back into THERE which is where it came from in the first place?? So, it remains, all around the house, in my sons mouth, on the stairs and in the dog bowl. And did I mention how everything is miraculously ending up wrapped? Trinity is on a wrapping frenzy and nothing is sacred. But still, with all of this Hurricane Hydeman running around, I am feeling extremely thankful for my mess...I know that many others are so less fortunate and less bickery at that. Merry Messness, *looking cockeyed at the tree* where did all the candy canes go???