I can't believe that it happened. Not that I thought I would be pregnant forever...but, after you hit 40 weeks, you are pretty much used to being pregnant, I felt like it was just another extension of me, and that I would just be that way because I was so used to it. I am happy that I am patient. That I trusted you Adeline, and my body to do what it was supposed to do. The whole thing really happened so fast...and I want to be sure to jot it all down so I don't forget a single monumental moment.
I had my midwife appointment scheduled for 1150. This was THE appointment, the one that I have been subconciously worrying about. The one where the midwives were going to talk to me about induction.
As I lay there on the exam table, and wait for my check, I wonder what this will all be like. What will happen to our "plan" if I have to do something that I don't want to. I wonder if I say NO, will they say that I went against medical advice? I know that induction is not something that I planned on, but...all of a sudden, I feel ok with whatever has to happen. As long as our baby is happy and healthy, it will be what it is supposed to be. Just then, my water breaks. Just.like.that.
My midwife looks up at me and says "your water broke." I am advised just to go home, I was only about 2-3 centimeters dialated. Luckily, Shannon took me to this appointment. So, we drive home and I call my doula Kelley. At home, I am relaxed, excited, and so overwhelmed with anticipation. It's FINALLY here. Our birth day. I jump in the tub and start to relax, the contractions seem to be getting stronger, and I welcome them. My wonderful husband makes me a nice plate of food, of which I devour. I have to stay strong for this delivery, I can feel that it will be here soon.
By 430PM, my contractions are every 2 mins or so, and Kelley and I leave for the hospital. Shannon stays behind with the kiddos to get the rest of everything ready and will meet us there. On the car ride, Kelley and I talk about what is happening, the day we have all been waiting for is FINALLY here. I am feeling a bit surreal about the entire thing, then the big contractions start. This is definitely not a dream. I am still able to hold minor conversation, to engage in witty banter, and to smile...so, we know it's not time yet :)
We get to the hospital around 545 or so, the midwives are excited to see me, the nurses are amazed that I walked and didn't want a wheelchair...oy. We get set up in the room, and start to talk a bit about what my birth plan will be. My midwives were amazing. Their names are Lisa and Lynette and they were exactly what I needed to deliver our baby. Lisa was strong, and kind, gentle and commanding. Lynette was like a good old friend, you could feel supported and comfortable around her. They advocated for our birth, and made sure that everything we wanted was going to happen. The lights in the room were dim, it was warm in there, and the bath water was running. I took off my clothes and started on the first part of our birth journey. The water feels AMAZING....I am relaxing in between contractions and really submitting to the stronger ones that greet me. Kelley is breathing deeply with me, coaching me along the way, reminding me to keep my mouth open, loose...and make those sounds that need to be made. She is such a strong and amazing woman, and having her eyes to focus on really helped me do what needed to be done. I am so thankful that she was there with me.
We continue in the bath off and on for about an hour...it's 630 now, and the contractions are getting really strong. Shannon gets to the hospital with my Trinity and Tristan in tow. The kids find a spot in the back of the room, Lisa turns the lights down and they are playing together. Everything is as it should be. Then, transition hits. The contractions start to get really strong, Shannon and I are together in the bathroom, he is running water down my back...he takes a picture that will forever embody my birth experience.
We get out the tub and dance together, I feel the baby moving down into my pelvic cavity, the pressure is getting really intense. I begin to vomit. I HATE vomitting. I HATE vomitting and having strong contractions. I peek over and Tristan is starting to throw up, he is dry heaving and I realize that this is too much for him. The nursing staff at our hospital were amazing. They set up a room just for us that he could escape to. A safe room. My mother took him there, and he was safe. I was happy. Time to focus on the task at hand. Trinity is the bathroom with us, she helps pour water on me, puts a wet washcloth on my forehead and tells me that I am doing a good job. She is amazing and supportive. My midwife tells her that she will make a good midwife or doula someday, I think she's right.
Shannon helped me up and over to the birth ball, I bounced for a bit...moving with my body and allowing the contractions to come. It was a bit too much sitting there, so, we danced. Dancing and rocking we stood together in the labor room, he kissed my head, and I held really tight to him. It felt wonderful to have him supporting me, in so many ways. I started to get dizzy again...she is coming. I hopped into bed, actually, more like clumsily stumbled, but...at any rate, I got my butt back in bed. It felt nice to have the midwife and my wonderful doula there, they helped to keep me focused, to remind me that I could do this. There was a moment when I closed my eyes and said I couldn't do it...Kelley told me to look at her, and in that moment she gave me four of the most inspiring words, "You ARE doing this...." The contractions were really mounting one on top of the other...she is coming. I felt the urge to push. ALREADY??? I thought for sure I was just making something up in my head. My midwife kept prompting me to trust my body, to push if I felt it. Adeline was working so hard to come.
I started to close my eyes and could feel my body arching backwards...BAD IDEA. Both Kelley and Lisa reminded me to curl into her, to feel the contractions and feel Adeline, to trust my body and work together with it, not against it. I did just that. I sat up and started to push, I could feel the excitement of my family, of my midwife, of Kelley...I knew that it was close. On the second push, Lisa told Shannon that he could deliver our baby, he was so happy and excited. I heard him say he didn't want to hurt her, and Lisa just guided his hands to where they needed to be. Last push....she was almost here, Shannon pulled her halfway out and I grabbed her under her arms. Pulling her warm body close to mine was such and amazing feeling, that feeling that you forget all too soon, so I made sure to be present in that moment...to remember it and soak it all in. It felt so great to have her in my arms. I did it. WE did it. Trinity was in complete amazement. She was so happy. I layed there with my new daughter and waited for the cord to stop pulsating. Afterwards, Shannon cut the cord and Adeline was free...she was born and was beautiful.
Holding our new baby feels amazing. It feels real. It feels right. I felt absolutely complete and in love. Having a baby is such an empowering and positive experience and my birth was exactly what it should have been. I was so thankful for everyone that helped to make it that way. That moment after she is born, I am looking down at her.....looking around the room at my family, and am so happy to have the people I love sharing this moment with me.
I watch in wonder as my daughter gives her baby sister her first bath, she is sweet, calm and trusting of her big sister. Trinity is so completely in control. She talks to Adeline, she touches her body and is not fearful of anything that happened. She is proud. I am happy for her.
My mom brings Tristan into the room and he gets to see his new sister for the first time, it's wonderful...everything is as it should be, and she just fits.
I will forever be thankful to everyone who supported me during Adeline's birthday and wanted to be sure to make it known here.
Kelley, my doula and best friend. You are so amazing. You helped me to stay focused, to feel loved and protected, to feel strong and able and comfortable. You took care of me and my family, loved my children and protected our wants and needs for this birth. Thank you so much for helping me do what I sometimes thought would be impossible. You made my birth perfect.
Lisa, my amazing midwife. Thank you for advocating for our natural birth. You and Kelley both worked together to help me achieve exactly what I needed to. You kept my birthplan in the forefront of your mind, and you respected all of our wishes. You made my birth perfect.
Shannon, my wonderful husband and strong advocate. Thank you a million times over for giving me the best possible gift that anyone could, our baby girl. It will never cease to amaze me how you are able to provide me with exactly what I need, regardless of what we can afford, but the love that you give all of us, is worth it's weight in gold. You are amazing. You made my birth perfect.
Trinity, my beautiful Trinity. Thank you so much for being you. I am always in awe of your ability to understand things that are far past your age. You are so amazing, so precious and you are a wonderful light in this sometimes dark world. You made my birth perfect.
Tristan, oh sweet bubbub. Thank you for being patient. You must have been worried about me towards the end there, and yet, you trusted what was happening and did what you needed to do to be calm. I love you so much and am so happy that you were there with me on your sister's birthday. You are incredible. You made my birth perfect.
Mom, thank you for being available to us whenever we need you. You are such an amazing mother and grandparent and I am so thankful for you. You made my birth perfect.
And finally, Adeline. My dear sweet Adeline. Thank you so much for choosing our family. We love your spirit, your calm and collected demeanor. The way that you smile and laugh in your sleep. You worked so hard the night of your birth, and I am so proud of you. Thank you so much for being you. You made OUR birth PERFECT.
Adeline Ellery Hydeman
8lbs 10oz 20inches long
Born 12/06/2010 at 9:41PM