Update on Little t

Little t had his appointment with the ENT today. Backtrack to about 4 weeks ago. He had all but stopped talking in his therapy sessions and we were noticing him being painfully quiet at home too. His therapists spoke with me about it each week, prodding and asking what I thought may be the change. We all put our heads together and came up with a common denominator..his ears. He had just recently been hitting at his Left ear and turning the tv up louder than usual, he was not responding to things that he normally did and was not talking, at all. So, today. We get him into the ENT, this man was FABULOUS. They checked both ears, and sure enough, the Left ear, the one that he has seemed aggitated with, was full of fluid. The Right ear was full of wax. The Doctor wants us to give it 3 weeks, normally, with typical children they will do a trial up to 8 weeks to see if the fluid dissapears, but, with his diagnosis, we don't want to delay him anymore. He asked to see us back in October. IF there is still fluid, we will put tubes in his ears. IF they died out, they will go forward with the hearing test. He couldn't perform the test since it would have to be a special test, and with the fluid on his ear, he would fail. He was also not surprised that he has been quiet, "try putting your head under water sometime and have your daughter talk to you...see how much you hear." It would explain a lot. We have taken him in to his Primary for ear issues and they never seem worried, never really looked in there, just peeked and said how they didn't look red. I am starting to think that this may have been going on for sometime. I will keep you all updated, for now, we are just doing the drops, ear wax removal drops and peroxide to dry it out...wish us luck!!!

It's all I've got....

I know, I am lame, a photographer and all the pictures of I have of my new "do" are those from my mom's phone or ones that I can't seem to retrieve from my phone...argh! But, here is one that my mom took of me after T's soccer game last Saturday.

ID on ME

With little t being non verbal, his allergies, and his tendancy to roam...we ordered a Medical ID bracelet. I didn't want the typical silver and red deals that you see so often on most people, typically elderly or alzheimers patients...I had to find something that A) He would be able to wear B) Something that was not too heavy...he has issues with stuff on his wrists C) That was ULTRA cool...cause that's how he rolls LOL. So, I stumbled upon these...ID on ME bracelets. I ordered one for lil t and one for T...they are really amazing even if you have no medical issues. It is a peace of mind for your child to wear...imagine if you are seperated and they are freaking out...how the heck will she remember our cell phone in that instant?? Or our address?? This ID bracelet has a hidden compartment that is air tight. Inside the compartment you have a strip of paper that you fill out all pertinenet information. You have to get one, keep your little ones safe in this crazy world!

The do....

Everyone is asking about the pictures, I am working on uploading them as we speak! My mom took a few good ones on her phone, so, as soon as I get those, you will see it! It was such a wonderful feeling to cut the hair off knowing that a little girl would be getting a new wig to sport around. I have always wanted to donate my hair, but have just been so attached to it..finally, I just did it. I am a brunette now too...apparently my roots are really dark, and they look especially so without all the blonde ends! So, be prepared for a change...I do look different, that's for sure!

Guess What I Did??

I will post more later, I'll just let you chew on that for now!

little t...updates

So, it finally is REALLY and truly soaking in....Tristan is different. I mean...so f-ing what right?? Yeah, I can tell myself that over and over, but today...just for right now, I am having a moment, bear with me. I hope you all don't get sick of hearing these, because, as it looks right now, I may have a few more...just hang on it will get lighter...I just have to get through this little bit of heavy right now, hope that's ok.

We had little t's meeting with Arizona Long Term Care on Tuesday...ug, I hate these. The entire process is so invasive, you are put on the spot, questions are being thrown one after the other...you have to remember EVERY little thing so some question taker can jot it down and use it against you later...ok, that was unfair..but, really, it's kinda horrible-ish. This was the moment that it all hit me, like a big ole' freight train...BAM...he is different. They are asking questions,

Question Guy: "If your son is holding a ball above his head, and he throws it, does he fall?"

Me: "He isn't able to hold a ball up above his head...and he can't throw...but, yes, he would fall."

QG: "When your son walks up the stairs, does he hold your hand or is he able to do it alone.?"
Me: "He isn't walking up stairs yet."
QG: "When he eats, does he load his spoon?"
Me: "He isn't able to use a spoon..or plate...or bowl...it all lands on the floor, I either put it on the table or feed him."

QG: "Can he jump with both feet off the floor?"
Me: "No." *how sad is that...a little boy can't jump??? I mean, he wants to....just can't.*

QG: "When he takes his clothes off...*me inturrupting*

Me"...he isn't doing that...."

QG: "Does he help you with dressing."
Me: "No."

QG: "Are you potty training?"
Me: "Are you kidding??"

QG: "Does he sleep with his hands open or closed??"
Me: *pausing to think...* "closed...why?"
QG: "It's just a question we have to ask..."

Me: "ok."

QG: "When he lays on his back, can he pull his head up to sit up?"
Me: "No..."

QG: " So, he CAN'T sit up????"
Me: "When he is laying on his back, he only rolls to the side to sit up, his midline and trunk muscles are so weak that NO he cannot sit up by pulling his head to center and using his stomach and neck muscles to facilitate...did that make sense?"

QG: "yes...are you ok??"
Me: *crying a little....trying not to ball my eyes out in front of this stranger..* "mmm-hmm"

QG: "Just take it day by day...it'll all turn out as it should."

We are taking it day by day. But, everyday is just like the last. Today at therapy both his therapist showed GREAT concern over the fact that he is STILL not talking...he has been so painfully quiet these past few weeks. The only sound he is making is 'Ba'. Back to square one. We are going back to basics, just sounds that he is familiar with.

I think about all the milestones that he has yet to hit and how I somehow may have taken them for granted with T. Jumping off of the ground with 2 feet...do you remember when your child did that? I don't...but I can't wait for it to happen with him. Reaching above your head or to be picked up....Waving Bye....Playing Peek a Boo...these are all things he has yet to do. Man, this is hard. I am in this stuck place...I don't want to be stuck. I feel sad and overwhelmed...then, I feel guilty for feeling that way. Today, when we got home, little t was sleeping...T looks at me and says "Mama, he's going to be fine." My 4 year old daughter is reassuring me....I wish I could believe it. She is so sure though. She says "He may not talk mama, but he knows us...he knows what's happening. When he gets older, we can find out what is wrong..but for now, we can just love him." OY, my heart melted, she is so incredibly mature for her age. I love her so much.

He has an appointment with the ENT to see if there is some other reason that he is not talking....possibly a blockage in his ears. I will keep you all posted and please keep his progess in your thoughts, we need all the help we can get.

I am at it again....more favorites!!!

Remember my old posts a few months back "A few of my favorite things" 1 and 2 ...well, I am at it again. Here is series 2 of my favs! I hope you enjoy (thanks Katie for the link parsing info!!)

MH2O

I heart this mop soooooo much! As you all know we have eliminated the chemicals from our home, and this mop is so great because it cleans on 100%PURE H2O!!! It uses the power of steam to blast away all the dirt, grime, bacteria and whatever else is on your floors. I love using it, the floor literally is squeaky clean under foot. You have no streaks and no residue. It cleans out the grout, and you can use it to steam upholstery and carpets too. I can't say enough good things about this wonderful eco friendly workhorse. Pick one up! I got ours at Linen's N Things. It was $99 and we used our 20% off coupon.

CORN BASED PLASTICS

We are trying to eliminate the use of plastics in our home and have stumbled upon a WONDERFUL product. They have straws, bags, plates, cups...you name it. The best thing about these is that they are 100% biodegradable and compostable. I have not yet used these, but they are on order to our home (straws and bags)...stay tuned for an update.

This Website

This is the website that we order the Corn Based Products from.

What Odor?

This is a Godsend for families with pets. I use this product on all facets of our house. If the cat box is stinky, I spray it on there. If one of the dogs had an accident (LYLAH) I spray the spot with this. You can use it anywhere and around anyone...there are no harmful chemicals and it is 100% Biodegradable. Another nice thing is for every product you purchase, a tree is planted!

id Bare Minerals Makeup

Now, you know I am not a makeup girl..BUT, if I have to look super pretty for some "special event"...(cause you know I have a ton of those) this stuff is the BEST thing I have found that helps to add a little "life" while keeping me looking like...me. I don't like makeup, at all. About the only thing that I do use is mascara because my eyelashes are so light. BUT, this makeup helps to clear up my acne too. Try it sometime, really, it's worth the money and it is easy to apply. If you forget to wash your face at night, it is ok...the minerals are actually good for your skin. I picked my set up at ULTA, it was on special for $49 (keep in mind that if you were to use it EVERYDAY...and it lasts ALL DAY...it would last you a year).

Ok, so, that is all I can think of at the time...it is really flippin' early in the morning, so, I will just leave you with this! Let me know if you try anything and what you think!!!!

Vegas Baby

For Labor day weekend and Shannon's birthday we took a trip to Vegas...it was so much fun, but really...exhausting. We are walkers, and we didn't realize just how DIFFICULT it is to walk the Vegas strip...the cars, the people, the sun hitting us from the blaring skyscrapers...damn Wynn Hotel, I curse you. But, we had a great time. The vacation was ALL about the kids, pretty funny considering we were in a city with the name "Sin" in it's catch phrase. Being the frugal king and queen that we are, we decided to partake in one of those "Resort Time Share Presentations." It was an ordeal, but, after all was said and done, we walked away with $150 in Visa Gift Cards, 2 Tickets to The Secret Garden, $40 Cash, and they provided Breakfast and Lunch and VARIOUS coupons.

My grandmother was a gambler...she loved the slots. She was a winner, she ALWAYS won. When she passed away in May, her slot machine (yes, she had HER OWN slot machine in the local tavern that was dedicated to her....only she played it, others would play it when she wasn't around, but if she was in the bar, you had better not touch it!) Any way, her slot machine had a MAJOR malfunction. My mom and grandpa were in the bar and it started to go off like it won, then the screen went black and the ticker tape started spewing tape out....it still is inoperable. I think it was her way of saying, "If I can't play you, NO BODY CAN!!!!" Well, getting to my point. My mom gave me $5 to play in a slot for my Grandma. On the second day in Vegas, I had Trinity pick out a machine for me. It was a tall, flashy machine with a huge red circle and big pull on the right hand side. Perfect. I walked over, put in my money, and told my Grandma that this was for her. I won $100 on my single pull. Thanks Grandma. That $100 paid for our fun that you are about to read about.

We loved visiting Cesar's Palace...FAO Schwartz was a hit. We spent half the day there, just meandering through all the toys. We discovered that little t LOVES vintage tin toys just as much as his mommy and that Trinity is addicted to stuffed animals. I also discovered that some parents will pay insane amounts of money to impress their children....ridiculous amounts of money. I am a SAVERS kinda girl, so, the price tags made me want to poop in my pants. Luckily, I refrained from looking at them, so, no worries in that department.

The M&M store was an amazing chocolate overload, all 4 STORIES of it. I swear, I opened our suitcase, and the dirty clothes bag smelled like chocolate...I guess it could smell worse. We caved and bought a bag of mixed MMMMMs (as t calls them) and they were divine. We also picked up a new tennis ball for Dakota, a lovely green ball with an M on it....it's already been destroyed, so, I would say that was a hit too.

The best time was spent just hanging out in the hotel room. We loved it. We stayed at Circus Circus, in the newly renovate West Tower. I HIGHLY reccomend this place. It did NOT smell of smoke, smoking was not even allowed in the hotel portion of the buildings. They had really comfy beds with luxurious linens. The bathrooms were big, and the tub, albeit small, was big enough for the kiddos to splash around in. They had a flat screen TV, and a WONDERFUL view. We were on the 32nd floor, so it was pretty amazing at night. It stormed really hard one of the nights, and the lightening show was beautiful.

In the lobby of the hotel there is, of course, a casino...but, to the left of said casino is an amazing place called "ADVENTUREDOME!" that word personifies the experience to a t. It was FULL of adventure, but, we just played carnival games. Trinity is quite the little winner, she actually got that glazed over look that you see on the gamblers face...she was addicted to winning...I can't even tell you the amount of stuffed animals that she came home with, and we only spent $20 in games. The carnies loved her....She was playing all the favorites, balloon pop, fishing, the water gun race, it was quite the site to witness.

All in all, this was a trip to remember...I loved our time that we spent together, the buffets, the sites, the lights, the music, the weird people, Trinity conquering the dreaded escalator, all of it rolled into one package made for a really great family getaway...even if just for the weekend.

Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde - - man

Lately little t has had such a wide range of emotions, we welcome them of course since this is a HUGE breakthrough for his diagnosis. He is telling us (the best way he knows how) when he does and doesn't like something, he is trying to use more signing and grasping for more words to let us know when he needs something. I had to share this picture series with you though...it was on Saturday after a long hot soccer game. He was happy, then all of a sudden...BAM...it was like "GET ME OUT OF THIS STROLLER NOW WOMAN!" At any rate, I still think he is adorable, even with the Dr. Jekyl-ish face. Gotta love it.

G O A L!

Trinity started soccer last Tuesday. I thoroughly enjoy watching all the little girls run around, arms bouncing around while they unsuccessfully try and score a goal. They are too cute. Some of the little ones have some serious skills, but mostly, just like little ants on a log, they all go after the same thing. We had her first Soccer Game this Saturday and let me tell you...there are some competative parents out there. The team that we were playing were called "Orange Crush"...they were big for 5 year olds...I still say they were juicing...at any rate, they whooped our butts. But, the good thing is that our sweet girls had no idea. The league that we play in is AYSO and they really have their stuff together, our girls are "The Blue Rays". We have a nifty uniform, they don't really keep score, it is only 3 on 3 and EVERYONE on the team gets field time. It is not competative, and at the end of the season, they all get a trophy. Trinity gets along with all of her teammates and she really loves playing. Oh, and even when you lose, your coach still gives you cookies...that's a major plus in T's book!

Stay tuned for more news from this newly promoted Soccer Mom...hahahaha, like that will ever happen.

I would like to thank the academy.....

I would like to take this time to give thanks for the many things that make my life so FULL....you complete my insanity...so, thank you.

Thank you "Baby Alive"...because of you, I now have to change the diapers of a real baby and you. Did I mention that you wear cloth diapers??? FUN.

Thank you prune juice..you know good and well what you did to me.

Thank you chocolate layer on the back of a supposed healthy kids snack. I will be scrubbing you out of my daughters jeans tomorrow...and the car seat....and the carpet.

Thank you "Littlest Petshop" toys. Because of you I am constantly following little t around with my hand out spouting the words "Let mama see...let mama have it please...." I swear, if you choke my child, so help me God....

Thank you wheat. You devil in a flour sack. Thank you for all the many blowouts you have caused....you are a tricky little pickle, you hide in everything and go by many alias'. "Modified Food Starch" my butt....just call a spade a spade will you...for the sake of my little ones bum and his stroller...and carseat...and carpet.....

Thank you Lylah...you are a beautiful dog...but WHY OH WHY must you pee in my house???

Thank you lady at the supermarket. You are the 175th person to tell me my Tristan is such a cute little GIRL....Seriously??? He is wearing a football shirt....that's blue....with camo pants. It's just a ponytail...get over it.

Thank you Transformers. Because of you, my office is a shrine, an omage to all things TF. I have to stare at you as I type...right now...quit looking at me Optimus Prime...

Thank you Qwest. The extra hours that you steal my husband away from his family every day are just great....though I appreciate the paycheck, we are missing him terribly.

Thank you almost 5 years old. Because of you, my daughter has perfected the hand on hip eye roll that I adore so much.

And thank you crazy rambling mind...because of you I could post this silly blog.

Creepy House

Not to get too much into it, that will come in a later post...but, we have been looking around for another house.

On our "journey" we stumbled across this house

This house will be forever embedded in my psyche. From the outside it is idyllic...beautiful stone facad, lighted garage door, river rock, upgraded screens. The backyard boasts over 100K in upgrades from the pebbletec pool with waterfall, raised jacuzzi, and slide to the flagstone extended deck with beehive fireplace, built ins for a barbeque and a lighted waterfountain feature. The price was so attractive...only $191K for over 3800 sq ft! That doesn't happen....Once you enter the home though, it was an ENTIRELY different scenario...think Psycho. But let me backtrack. Before going inside, I went over to the neighbors house to ask them about the neighborhood. I looked online before visiting, but couldn't find much. In retrospect, I should have been able to see through his elusive answers to my questions as a warning.
ME - *Knock Knock on the door.......No answer....Ringing the doorbell*
Man - *Opens the door....but, is just staring at me*
ME - "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, we are looking at purchasing the house next door, I was wondering if you had any information on the house or the area that might help us with our decision."
Man - *stoned face, no emotion, monotone* "Are, uh, you the new neighbors?"
ME - "No, we just wanted to see if we could find out some more information before we get too attached...you know, some research if you will."
Man - *just staring at me....* "Uh, yeah.........that house has some history."
ME - "Anything in particular you could share with me???"
Man - *looking a bit perplexed....long pause* "The people that lived there........they were crazy." *shuts the door in my face*

Ok, that went well. Our realtor gets there and we head inside...before we turn the key and even see the inside though, Trinity says "This house is creepy." Now, let me say that my T never uses the words "creepy"...and she didn't see the inside yet, so, there was really no reason for her to say it...at least I hadn't discovered it yet. The first thing we notice when we go inside is the sick amount of black mold covering the walls, carpet, baseboards, toilet....you name it. I was terrified. Shannon was holding Trinity and I was holding Tristan...there was NO way they were getting down. We decided to leave, but on the way out I noticed that there was something funny on the stairs, looked like bleach. When I got closer, I uncovered something so gruesome, something that you would see on those CSI shows. It was indeed bleach. The bleach was poured on the stairs in an attempt to cover the BLOOD that was splattered the entire rise of the stairway. No, I am not kidding. I was intrigued...I know, but that little part of me that enjoys those scary movies and forensic shows wanted to know more. I peered up onto the landing and saw what looked like the bloody trail of a dead body being pulled down the hallway and thrown down the stairs...NO, I am not kidding...and YES, we left immediately.

Saying Goodbye is Hard to Do

Daddy Puppy. Those two words warm the heart of my daughter. He was her beloved stuffy. Shannon got him for her when she was born. A beautiful black lab, soft and squishy. His simple red collar and silver bone tag with the word "SPIRIT" on the front. He went EVERYWHERE with us. All of our vacations, he was there too. Any bumps and bruises, he was there. Doctor's checkups, stuffy noses, vomit and even in the bath...Daddy Puppy was a permanent fixture in our lives. Vegas put an end to Daddy Puppy. On our last night there, a very crowded tour bus of Japanese sight see-ers entered the lobby just as we were retiring to our room for the night. T and t were already fast asleep and we were carrying them to the elevator. Daddy Puppy was stuffed tightly in Shannon's pocket...that is, until the hoards of people knocked him out. We were up to our room on the 32nd floor before we realized that he was missing, 5 minutes was all it took for him to be kidnapped. Gone forever. We went to security, lost and found, I even walked through the lobby peering into peoples bags, staring at little children to see if they had scooped him up. I asked the patrons if they would keep their eyes peeled and let the concierge know. People looked at me like I was nuts....and I was. I was going crazy trying to find him. After 3 hours of looking, I gave up. Shannon was a mess. The thought of telling Trinity in the morning was eating him up. I will admit it, I cried. It is only a material item I know, but the memories attached to that stuffed animal all irreplaceable. 8Am rolled around and T was still asleep. Shan wanted so badly to wake her just to get it over with, but he realized that was selfish, and he waited. He bought her donuts to try and help lessen the blow. Her big brown eyes opened around 9AM and she was a smily fool as always. Excited about her donuts she began to scarf one down. Shannon let her finish, then he pulled her on his lap and told her that he had to tell her something.

Shan - "Hey cutie, I have to tell you something."
T - "Sure Daddy, what is it??" *excited like he had a surpise for her.*

Shan - "Well, it's not a good thing, it's a sad thing."

T - *her face getting serious* "What??"

Shan - "Last night, when we were bringing you to bed...."

T - "Yes"

Shan - "Daddy Puppy fell out of my pocket....and now we can't find him."
T - *Quiet*

Shan - "Boo boo...I'm sorry, we looked everywhere. We told the security..."
T- "Did you check lost and found??"
Shan - *nodding*

T- *Quiet*

Shan - "I know that you are sad...so are we, it's ok to be sad."
T - *Holding back her tears trying to digest what he just told her."
Shan - "Boo boo...it's ok to cry."

T - *Balling....squishing her face into her daddy"

ME - *holding on to her...*

LONG QUIET PAUSE...she composes herself.

T - "You know what? They may have my Daddy Puppy, but they can't have my memories...those belong to me, and they can't take them away."

I was amazed at the words that just came out of her mouth. How mature, and understanding to know that although someone took her beloved pet, they could not have her memories that they shared together. Shannon tracked down another DP, but he wasn't quite the same...we had another stuffy that was given to Tristan, and he didn't really care for it either way, so, we made him into the "new" Daddy Puppy. Trinity held him tight, and closed her eyes. I asked her what she was doing and she says "I am putting all of the memories from Daddy Puppy into this Daddy Puppy." We put a new tag on him that reads

Daddy Puppy

Belongs to Trinity

Our Phone #