Shyanne Sterling 01/02/97 - 07/06/09

Shyanne, our oldest, beloved dog lost her fight with cancer on Monday ....she is so missed already. It's so amazing to me how we can give so much of ourselves to these animals, and they to us...and yet, we are only given such a short time to enjoy that offering. I am so sad that she died...I am happy that she is no longer in pain, that she won't have to suffer, but I wish that she would have lived a life free from any pain. She went through so much in her 12 1/2 years with us.

I remember when we adopted her...she was so pretty and small. She was the last of the girls in the remaining 3 puppies from a litter of 10. Shannon's parents adopted her 2 brothers and that just left her, all alone...I couldn't bear it. We were helping her breeders fix their truck, and I noticed that she followed me out there. She sat on my lap and looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, she fell asleep on my lap while I sat and watched them fix their '76 Cheyenne Truck....that's part of where her name came from, we spelled it Shyanne, she was so shy in demeanor.

We took her with us to college, she was a HORRIBLE puppy..just awful. She used to chew through anything and everthing in her sight. She jumped, she barked, she dug, she chased the cat, she tried to break through the windows to get out and be with us...she was bonifide nuts. But, we loved her, and she was ours as we were hers...through the good and the bad, we weathered every storm together. She was with us when we lost jobs, lost loved ones, got engaged, got married, bought our first house, had our miscarriages, had our babies, moved, everything...she was there from the beginning, and I had hoped she would stay with us longer towards the end. I miss her terribly, I cry just about every day, and I wish that she was still here.

I will share and interesting story though. My healer friend told me that spirits often show themselves in the form of a butterfly. That butterflies signify transmutation or change, from this life to the next, and when you see a butterfly, it is a blessing. 4 days after Cammie died (Shy's daughter passed 1 year ago in June) we saw a pretty little yellow butterfly..it stuck around a few days, then we never saw it again. Just yesterday, Trin and I were gardening and talking about Shy and how we missed her so much...then, out of thin air, the same yellow butterfly flutters by, and trailing her, is the most beautiful, big red/orange butterfly...it dodged, and darted, flew around Trins face, through my arms, in through my hands, sat on our flowers, was lingering for about 5 minutes then followed the yellow butterfly up and over our house. I believe it was Shy, I feel it with my whole being. It was good closure for me...for the moment anyway.

The day we took her in, I knew and she knew it was time. The days prior, her breathing had gotten really bad, she was on antibiotics, was coughing and hacking, wasn't eating...it was really not good. She started staying in our room, not following me as she normally did. Sunday night was especially hard, she woke up at 2 AM and couldn't breathe. Shannon and I took turns sleeping on the floor beside her. I told her, "Girl, you have to let me know when it's time...I don't know...I need your help ok?? You let me know when you're ready." The next day, she followed me everywhere...as if to say "I'm ready mama." I told her we were going to make it better for her. We painted her nails, gave her a dry bath, put on her nicest bandana and took pictures with her and her loved ones. Dakota is taking it especially hard. This was is mate, they had Cammie when he was 10 months old. I am happy that he got to say goodbye though. With Cammie, we had no idea...I took her in and then she didn't come back. I told Dakota when Shy was in the truck that she might not come back, but it was going to be ok. It was really hard to do that, but I wanted him to know....I am sure he already knew though.

We pick up her ashes tomorrow, I want to have them, but I am also afraid, because I remember how I felt with we were given Cammies...it's such a bittersweet thing. I miss you Shy, so much. You were such a great dog...you were loyal, loving and patient. You sat by Trinity's co-sleeper and watched her like the guardian angel that we know you are. You followed me everywhere, and gave the best kisses. You had the most amazing personality and no dog could or would ever replace you. Be good up there girl, we will see you again one day.