Stacking Cans, Climbing Tables, Toothbrushes, and Matching Shoes..

This world of Autism is an interesting one. I learn more and more every second. Everyday I try to figure out what it is that is making him tick..getting into that little head of his you know? We have closed ourselves up a bit from the world, but, I am working on opening up...baby steps. I will start by letting you in for a peek.

Tristan does some things that others may find weird, quirky, strange, whatever..they are just traits of who he is and we love him.

Stimming - He stims on tons of things, and moreso when he 1) Has snuck some wheat in his diet. 2) Overstimulated 3) Nervous are scared 4) REALLY REALLY HAPPY. And all the stims differ by situation.
HAPPY STIM - We will start with this first because lets face it, we all need a little happy in our lives. Flapping arms, bababababa sounds, back arching...excessively. Dancing back and forth. Here is a visual of the back arching.


He stims when he is watching certain television programs, or when there are really bright lights...like, if you have ever gone shopping with us and see him in a cart...you would understand what the back arching is all about. It looks SO painful and people stare at him like he is retarded...the thing with stimming is that you have to allow the child to engage in the behaviour because it is their way of communicating...they are doing it the best way they know how. As long as what he is doing is not injuring himself or others, there is no reason to stop it, no matter how stupid or weird others may preceive it.


UNHAPPY STIM - Screeching, arching, eye contact avoidance and kicking while lying on the floor...Hiding. It is heartbreaking. My son has social withdrawl. He is getting SO much better, but, it has become more and more evident to me that he is overwhelmed when around large groups of people, especially if it is noisy. We were playing at the park with his therapist one day, TnT , Jeni and Me....he was doing awesome, playing with Big T, running around, well, the best he could anyway. Then, a preschool group come galivanting over. This was when I noticed the saddest thing that my heart could handle for a while. He got a look of shear fear on his face, and rushed under the slide. He turned his back to the group and started rocking back and forth. I was so sad for him. Imagine what that feels like. A mother wants her baby to only be happy...understands that there are times when they will be sad, but really just wants them to be flooded with joy and peace. He was so scared. I scooped him up and ran home. The people at the park looked at me like I was an overprotective and overbearing mom...they just don't get it. When these kids get in this place of absolute and overwhelming fear, it is all encompassing...it takes over, there is no getting through, it just gets worse the more they are forced to endure it. And I think this is what makes me sad the most, that a group of preschool kids screaming in glee and running around him in circles would torment him the way that it did that day. We are working on this, but let me say, baby steps...tiny little baby steps. Here is a picture when he had just finished an "unhappy stim"...it's not like a tantrum or anything volitile or explosive, but, it is hard to get to him when he does it...it's literally like he is on another planet, he goes into this sort of catatonic state, glazy eyed and staring off. The second pic is eye contact avoidance...


So on to the title...Stacking cans, climbing tables, toothbrushes and matching shoes. These are a list of a few of his all time favorite things to do. He LOVES to stack things. I have posted previously about when this first started. Now, we are happy to say, that he is doing it more play appropriately and with blocks! YAY.

Climbing tables. He has NO sense of safe guards, meaning he doesn't understand that he can get hurt. He will climb up a table and hang onto the chandelier and no matter how scary my voice "Ahhh, Tristan....careful!!!!" it doesn't phase him. Hence the 4 visits to the ER in less than a year.

Toothbrushes...we need stock in Colgate because he is ALWAYS stealing ours. He loves to carry them around, keep them in his mouth...another autistic trait is the need to satisfy their oral curiosity. He mouths EVERYTHING. Again, he has gotten so much better. We can actually go outside for a little bit without worry of him sticking all the dirt, rocks, dog poop, plants, nails, ciggerate butts...whatever is on the ground, in his mouth. He still eats the occasional mud pie...but hey, he's a boy.


Matching shoes. This is actually pretty entertaining to watch. It's a little Rainman in my book, but, it's neat nonetheless. He will dump out our shoe bin and search around, finding the pairs and line them up. He does this with just about everything. Books, those plastic Gladware containers/lids, rocks that are similiar in size and color, little people animals..he likes having pairs of something, I have to respect that because I too appreciate order and pairs.


So, I let you in on a little peek, it's not so bad now is it? He is really a fun guy to be around, he has neverending amounts of hugs and kisses for me and the rest of the family, he is loving being held and snuggled, and is really making great strides. I know that one day, I will look back on this and wonder why we ever worried...but, being a parent, you do that you know? You worry about all the shit in thier lives. Firsts, falls, doctors appointments, talking, walking, friends, schools, boyfriends/girlfriends, college, marriage.....I know that I will never stop worrying, but, I am at peace with who he is and know that all of this will add up to an answer one of these days...for now, I will just have fun watching and waiting.