I love him. He is so caring, strong, sweet, passionate about things important to him, he loves my mother so much, he is smart, he adores my babies, he loves me.
Growing up I remember him being the dad that the kids were afraid of. I really hate typing that...but, it is true. I remember Jackie saying to me "I am scared of your Dad", and the sad thing, so was I. He was the quiet dad that only really talked out loud when you did something wrong. He was the Dad that constantly disciplined, to a fault. I was a good kid, but never felt like it. There was yelling...some hitting, but, that is not who he is now...neither his life nor mine, is not framed by what we were given . He is an entirely different person now. I love that he has completely transformed into an amazing man. I mean, I have always looked up to him...but, now I respect him too..does that make sense? I guess I should go back to the beginning.
They (my dad and his siblings) did not get much in the department of love when they were younger. Just a few of the stories he has told me have made me come home and hug my kiddos just a little harder..and cry quietly while I think that a child had to go through something so horrible. For respect of his family, I will not repeat them here, let's just say, I can understand why the Menendez Brother's did what they did. So, with that in mind, it is understandable that he did not show a lot of affection when we were kids.
They say that you find out how your family really is when you have a family of your own, I GET it now. I see how hard life must have been for him as a child, and I understand why he treated us certain ways. I made ammends with him LONG ago. I remember at my wedding day, we were taking our Father - Daughter dance and he started crying. This was the 2nd time I had ever seen him cry. He says to me, "Youre a good girl Jenny." I *now crying myself* say to him, "Youre a good Daddy" then he replies, "No, not always." That was it..an apology for how things went. He took accountability for how he treated me as a child. I never again thought about how I wish things would have been different growing up, all I could wish for was a happy future. This brings us to now.
Today we went to my parents house as we normally do at least once a week. Trinity REALLY looks forward to these visits, so do I. We did the typical routine, eat, Trin goes on the buggy with Nana, swims in the jacuzzi, but today...today was a little different. My dad sat with her on the couch, and they watched cartoons together. She crawled up, pretty much onto his lap, and he swung his big arm out for her to snuggle in. There they were, all melted together, not a care in the world...just being Papa and Trinity. It was really touching. Something so simple, so "normal" was just an amazing thing to see. He is an awesome Papa...so THIS, this is what I will always remember about my Dad, the BEST Dad a girl could ask for. He loves my babies, and for that, he is the most improved Dad ever. Today was a really good day.
Growing up I remember him being the dad that the kids were afraid of. I really hate typing that...but, it is true. I remember Jackie saying to me "I am scared of your Dad", and the sad thing, so was I. He was the quiet dad that only really talked out loud when you did something wrong. He was the Dad that constantly disciplined, to a fault. I was a good kid, but never felt like it. There was yelling...some hitting, but, that is not who he is now...neither his life nor mine, is not framed by what we were given . He is an entirely different person now. I love that he has completely transformed into an amazing man. I mean, I have always looked up to him...but, now I respect him too..does that make sense? I guess I should go back to the beginning.
They (my dad and his siblings) did not get much in the department of love when they were younger. Just a few of the stories he has told me have made me come home and hug my kiddos just a little harder..and cry quietly while I think that a child had to go through something so horrible. For respect of his family, I will not repeat them here, let's just say, I can understand why the Menendez Brother's did what they did. So, with that in mind, it is understandable that he did not show a lot of affection when we were kids.
They say that you find out how your family really is when you have a family of your own, I GET it now. I see how hard life must have been for him as a child, and I understand why he treated us certain ways. I made ammends with him LONG ago. I remember at my wedding day, we were taking our Father - Daughter dance and he started crying. This was the 2nd time I had ever seen him cry. He says to me, "Youre a good girl Jenny." I *now crying myself* say to him, "Youre a good Daddy" then he replies, "No, not always." That was it..an apology for how things went. He took accountability for how he treated me as a child. I never again thought about how I wish things would have been different growing up, all I could wish for was a happy future. This brings us to now.
Today we went to my parents house as we normally do at least once a week. Trinity REALLY looks forward to these visits, so do I. We did the typical routine, eat, Trin goes on the buggy with Nana, swims in the jacuzzi, but today...today was a little different. My dad sat with her on the couch, and they watched cartoons together. She crawled up, pretty much onto his lap, and he swung his big arm out for her to snuggle in. There they were, all melted together, not a care in the world...just being Papa and Trinity. It was really touching. Something so simple, so "normal" was just an amazing thing to see. He is an awesome Papa...so THIS, this is what I will always remember about my Dad, the BEST Dad a girl could ask for. He loves my babies, and for that, he is the most improved Dad ever. Today was a really good day.
2 comments:
Oh Jenn, you have me in tears. What a wonderful memory to have of the two of them. I love when Will snuggles with the girls. I am sorry that you grew up the way you did, but it makes me happy to know that you and he are different now. I am so sorry for HIM and the way he had to grow up. That's heartbreaking. Isn't it amazing to see things out of different eyes once we are grown?
Wow...you are lucky. My dad was never in my life, but I chalk it up to it's better that way.
I am so happy that Trinity has such a bond with her grandfather, lucky little girl.
Stories like yours remind me to stop shouting...Thanks for the touching story.
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