Goodbye my little one...

Cammie Belle Gray Shadow Hydeman

June 12, 1999 - June 11, 2008

Today was a very difficult day for us. We had to say goodbye to Cammie, our youngest Weim. (aside from Layla of course). Cammie started getting lethargic 3 days ago, she stopped eating entirely 2 days ago, and refused food, water, potty today. She seemed so uncomfortable and was having trouble breathing (she was diagnosed with Asthma at birth, but has always known her limits.) I thought MAYBE she got into something, maybe it was Valley Fever, I know this is going around right now. I thought we would take her in, get some blood work, maybe an IV for dehydration, then antibiotics and back home.

They did an xray, bloodwork and total workup. The doctor came back with a grim look on her face. She proceeded to show me the xrays. Apparently Cammie does not have asthma, rather a hernia that has somehow caused her organs to shift and move into the space where her heart lives. Over the years the organs would move up (this would show as an asthma attack) then move down, and she would be fine. Well, they moved up and got stuck, causing her breathing to really become labored. We thought she may have been coming down with a little cold. I had no idea it was so involved. She proceeds to tell me that to do a surgery would require tens of thousands of dollars, a specialist and we would have to move on it right away. She then said, and I will never forget the sinking feeling when she said it, she said "She probably wouldn't make it through the process"......I am so sick feeling, numb and sad. Shannon was at work, luckily Albert came to keep Tristan busy. I asked him to take Trinity out for a walk, the last thing Trin says is "Cammie is going to be alright, right mama...right mama???" At this point I hadn't cried yet, but as soon as she left the room, I fell to the floor. How do I do this? How is it that I have to decide this? I just can't see how it is fair that this decision be placed into a person's hands. I called Shannon and told him the news, he was a shocked as I was. He got off work to come.

Then comes the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do as a mother so far. Explain to my 4 year old that her dog has to go to Heaven. She asks me how? Doesn't God do that? Why mama? and her lip is quivering...her chin is scrunching up and her eyes are welled with tears. I tell her that she needs to go to Heaven now, and that she is going to be in a better place. She lets out a cry that I can't even think about....and hugs her Cammie. I fall to peices. Albert falls to peices. Shannon finally arrives and it's the same thing, all over...we are just so sad. We decided that we wanted to be around her when she went to sleep, we all just hugged her, kissed her and let her know how much we adore her and the time we have been blessed to spend with her.

Cammie was Shyanne's baby, she had a litter of 7 and only 3 survived. Since their birth BOTH of Cammies siblings passed...she was the last surviving child. I felt so saddened since they didn't get to say goodbye. I just took her to the doctor, and didn't even think to have them say goodbye. Both Dakota (Cammie's dad) and Shyanne are a miserable mess. They know. Shy sniffed towards the door for about an hour after we came home as if to say, "Where is my little girl?? You took her out, why didn't she come back?"

Tomorrow would be her 9th birthday. She was such a good little girl. Cammie Belle...you were an amazing companion, such a loving and sweet dog. I don't think that in this lifetime I will ever meet another animal such as mild mannered and wonderful as you. You will be missed and forever in our hearts.